Oath3 38 Posted March 21, 2013 /Get UAZ/Run over zombie/Car exploes/zombie walks off 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
♠ Unknown ♠ 8 Posted March 21, 2013 /Get UAZ/Run over zombie/Car exploes/zombie walks offYou my friend just ran over the zombie Chuck Norris Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Oath3 38 Posted March 21, 2013 (edited) You my friend just ran over the zombie Chuck NorrisI was told, when I first started this game, to beware of him.I shall listen next time I am warned. Edited March 21, 2013 by Oath3 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steak and Potatoes 13480 Posted March 21, 2013 /asks any firendly's in cherno on side channel/braces for impact 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
timboski 618 Posted March 21, 2013 Yep, took her about three minutes to get unstuck after breaking her leg randomly whilst on top. Of course she became unconscious when she finally slid off the ladder so i dragged her around until she woke up and then fed her a stick of sweet sweet morphine.And how is this unlike RL? :D 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JamesMoore 51 Posted March 21, 2013 Honestly my friends this is meant to be a joke thread, no offense to the dev's, mods, forum team, or anyone at all whatsoever. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steak and Potatoes 13480 Posted March 21, 2013 Honestly my friends this is meant to be a joke thread, no offense to the dev's, mods, forum team, or anyone at all whatsoever.Take that back I'm personally offended, only way to convince me otherwise is by a lap dance 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
timboski 618 Posted March 21, 2013 Take that back I'm personally offended, only way to convince me otherwise is by a lap danceI have also taken some offence. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steak and Potatoes 13480 Posted March 21, 2013 I have also taken some offence.Looks like two lap dances are due 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JamesMoore 51 Posted March 21, 2013 im 5 years old the hell is a lapdance 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Imafighter 236 Posted March 21, 2013 im 5 years old the hell is a lapdanceLol'd. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Saethkept 134 Posted March 21, 2013 (edited) On Taviana,/Looks out second floor mall window/falls through second floor - to below first floor/leg broken/crawls beneath first floor to the outside/crawls to chopper parked at other end of city square/flies chopper with broken leg/lands chopper on hospital roof/does not find morphine/climbs down roof ladder with broken leg/runs out of ammo crawling and shooting to front of hospital/breaks glass with hatchet/gets in hospital, gets morphine, accidentally drops hatchet/game crashes/loads back in/windows have "healed" in hospital/with no cans to throw, and no ammo for weapon/stuck inside hospitalAnd I love this game Edited March 21, 2013 by Saethkept 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skat3rat 1633 Posted March 21, 2013 /chopper has broken windscreen glass/fuel leaks 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conkykillz 791 Posted March 21, 2013 Looks like two lap dances are dueI want a lap dance too but only if your crying at the same time Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shrapnell 92 Posted March 21, 2013 /gets shot 6 times with Beretta M9/bandages myself and eats cow, entrails, organs, and all/12000 blood Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
declan223@gmail.com 271 Posted March 22, 2013 You might be able to survive it at 1500m. :lol:True, but do you know how hard that would be to hit someone 8 times at that range? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hazzathealmighty 51 Posted March 22, 2013 / Drive ATV over train tracks/ Rocket to the mooooooooooooooooooooon 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a_typical_noob 651 Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) / Throw smoke grenade into corner/ Entire building comes down______________________________________________/ Finds a car that needs fixin'/ Removes engine block from backpack Edited March 22, 2013 by A_Typical_Noob Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hatfieldcw 184 Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) I fell down a ladder and it hurt so bad my hands were shaking. Gobble down a whole bottle of painkillers, and I'm right as rain.I think that water was contaminated, my chest is congested and I'm feeling weak. Scarf down a ten-day cycle of antibiotics at one time, ready for action!Eight steaks at once. Awesome dinner.Ran 10km, got thirsty, chugged a Pepsi.One magazine with two shots, one with four. I wouldn't have it any other way.Room for eight ghillie suits in patrol pack. Two revolvers will not fit. Also: Car engine 20% larger than makarov, 40% smaller than M107.Common toolbox contains all that's needed to install helicopter rotor assembly.Same tire fits bicycle, ATV, Sedan and Ural.Windscreen glass cut to fit any opening.Fuel for motorcycle, SUV and chopper all in the same can.Can run and reload, must stop to throw bottle or holster pistol.Random dude washes up on beach. Butcher, marksman, helicopter pilot/mechanic, medic, marathoner. Edited March 22, 2013 by Beez 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mitunzz 90 Posted March 22, 2013 /Hey, 'friendly'?/You are dead. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AshleyP 121 Posted March 22, 2013 (edited) / Eats entire packet of painkillers in one go/ Feels better afterwards~/ Stuck in Eastern Europe/ Only alcohol is whiskey~/ Has no trouble cooking meat, boiling water/ Eats cold macaroni and cheese from the can~/ Uses last M14 7.62x51mm round, keeps rifle and hunts for DMR mags/ Uses last FN FAL 7.62x51mm round, throws rifle away~/ Fits helicopter rotor assembly in backpack, fights undead corpses, never has to sleep, game a masterpiece of realism/ Cans have silly names, you ruined my childhood Edited March 22, 2013 by AshleyP Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aHzdaNny 49 Posted March 22, 2013 Keep 'em coming, guys. Some of these are spot on! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DayzForumer 284 Posted March 22, 2013 /drives boat up on land/keeps driving Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingflip 42 Posted March 22, 2013 /crawls over steps./breaks legs and dies. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingflip 42 Posted March 22, 2013 /bumps shoulders with someone in enclosed area./passes out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
