OfficerRaymond 2064 Posted February 26, 2013 Here is mine:The other day, I had just fresh spawned after being killed. 2800 humanity on this server (a public/private hive of sorts). I spawn in on a lucky elektro spawn, so I run for the elongated brown barn that is right next to me. I suddenly become the target of an axeman with an eye for freshly spawned blood. So, he runs behind me for hell, 15 minutes? I zig, I zag, and I finally lose him long enough to grab and equip the hatchet I eyed a few times in the barn we were playing cat and mouse around. We then proceed to have an epic standoff between the two of us, involving a shit-ton of Shift, W, A, S, D, and a few quite enthused zombies. I decide that this will go on for way too long, so I book for it, and employ a risky tactic. He follows my plan exactly how I hope. He runs after me like the arrogant, bloodthirsty troll he is. I manage to put about 10-15m between me and him, just enough time... I run out the large door, flip 180 degrees around, and dice him the second he emerges from the door. Boom, right to the chest, one hitter knockout. As he lies on the floor, I put him out of him hourglass misery with three more swings. I proceed to steal his bandages, backpack his painkillers, and head on my way. I leave his body there for the zombies to eat, and the bambis to fear. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Man vs Wild 313 Posted February 26, 2013 Met a fellow named billy mays in electro. me and him decided to go to the office building. As soon as he is in the building I hear a bloodcurdling scream, Look over and see poor billy being chased by a man with a crowbar saying "out of my way I'm having a baby!!" Broke billy's legs and proceeded to "eat" them as he was claiming that they were his. Unloaded 2 9mm magazines into him before taking he went down, I was scared and shakened. That was 9 months ago and that was the day I decided I loved DayZ 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OfficerRaymond 2064 Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) Met a fellow named billy mays in electro. me and him decided to go to the office building. As soon as he is in the building I hear a bloodcurdling scream, Look over and see poor billy being chased by a man with a crowbar saying "out of my way I'm having a baby!!" Broke billy's legs and proceeded to "eat" them as he was claiming that they were his. Unloaded 2 9mm magazines into him before taking he went down, I was scared and shakened. That was 9 months ago and that was the day I decided I loved DayZSo, you are raising his now 9 month old orphaned and cannibalistic child? How is Billy doing, or did you put him out of his misery? It is hard to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland with half devoured legs you know. Edited February 26, 2013 by OfficerRaymond Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Man vs Wild 313 Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) Bastard smothered his fecal matter on Billy's cuts, it was too much he did pass away... as for the child I placed it on green mountain where it belongs who knows what its doing up there now... Edited February 26, 2013 by Man vs Wild Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OfficerRaymond 2064 Posted February 26, 2013 Bastard smothered his fecal matter on Billy's cuts, it was too much he did pass away... as for the child I placed it on green mountain where it belongs who knows what its doing up there now...:"(You have broken my heart. At least his beans won't go to waste. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conkykillz 791 Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) Played on a server and this bloke told me he was Justin Beiber never been back shit scared of singing lesbians Edited February 26, 2013 by Conkykillz Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OfficerRaymond 2064 Posted February 26, 2013 Played on a server and this bloke told me he was Justin Beiber never been back shit scared of lesbiansI would have beat him to death with a can of beans for being such a little shit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gamerman001 182 Posted February 26, 2013 The humanity is strong in this one..... 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VisionTwelve 24 Posted February 26, 2013 Got chased by "freddie" from cherno to nwaf with. That creep music O_o Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gamerman001 182 Posted February 26, 2013 Got chased by "freddie" from cherno to nwaf with. That creep music O_ois that a real thing?..... ive seen this same dude on a few youtube videos. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bloodtrozorx 145 Posted February 26, 2013 I climbed out of the deer stand east of Kozlovka and turned around to face 4 bandits holding hatchets, I asked over direct if they wanted the M1014 I found up there but there was no ammo. Their leader informed me that I needed a circumcision and that I had 5 seconds to run. They chased me south to Balota Airfield screaming "it's just a little snip!". I rushed out on to the tarmac at the airstrip was promptly hit by a bus. According to the side chat and death messages the bus riders all jumped out and killed the bandits. I spent the next five minutes on the shore laughing... 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OfficerRaymond 2064 Posted February 26, 2013 The humanity is strong in this one.....ROFLCHOPPER!!!Best shit I have seen in awhile. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VisionTwelve 24 Posted February 27, 2013 is that a real thing?..... ive seen this same dude on a few youtube videos.Yes, yes it is indeed. And its even worse at night Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
got_ghost 1 Posted February 28, 2013 The humanity is strong in this one.....LOL! This made my fucking day!! :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dango 23 Posted March 1, 2013 i was with a friend above electro near the barn. we see a man walk into the barn with an m4a3 cco. me and my friend are packing heat too. me a saw and him an m4a1 cco sd. we approach the barn from opposite sides and as soona s my friend enters i hear a man screaming in russian at us. he mows down my friend and i try to shoot him. he breaks my legs and i crawl for cover. i morphine myself and hide my friends body. i decided not to screw with the guy since i was scared. mean while i was doing this he is laughing in the back ground shooting at nothing and screaming in russian. (i cant speak russian so i was scared) and decided to just leave the server. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fun With Flares 72 Posted March 1, 2013 This is a weird story.Had just spawned back in due to bandits and scooted for a construction site dock doodad for a hatchet, finding one on a body with nothing else on it. He looked like he'd been shot. I was on the top floor when I heard a shot and went down. I was still alive, but my leg was broken. I bandaged and managed to get to the bottom floor, and a guy with a bigass gun and a bandanna to match came in. Over direct he asked me if I heard shots."Yes.""You have any idea what it was""Probably you.""Clever bastard."But as he went to shoot me, green text appeared on my screen. "GO GET HIM!" Suddenly the snap-leg icon was gone. I got up, ran at the guy and beat his head in. Didn't take his AK. Never did part with that hatchet. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
