Make taking a shit play like Daley Thompson's Decathlon

[meshcarver 154]

Hi all,

With the news that our little avatars are going to need to go kackety poo-poos, I thought why not let the player decide when you want to get a visit from the Shit Fairy..?

To instigate a bout of excretia, you simply press and hold SHIFT for 5 seconds, this then makes the player go into defecation mode which is where he drops trouser and squats and that's the point of no return.

To crimp out a full length, you have to hammer the Z and X keys so fast that it becomes almost a blur. If you cannot hammer it fast enough, then your player is left in the middle of Farmer Krakovs field with his trousers down and a turtles head poking out from between his ruddy baps.

This will make him an easy target for Snipers as he cannot stop nature once it's in its glorious full flow.

But, if you manage to successfully hammer it out, then you get the full satisfaction of knowing you really had to work up a sweat in real life too and will in all likelihood be sitting at your desk breathless but relieved, which will hopefully increase immersion.

As an added feature, perhaps if there's another Survivor with you, you can call him/her over to help.

By standing next to the squating player, you can roll the mouse button to bring up a menu with options of holding his hand for comfort, or whispering such sentiments as "Push Yakov, push..!" or "There there, everything will be alright, I can see its head..." etc. By doing this, you will drop the amount of times per second said player has to hammer the Z and X keys.

Anyway, your thoughts are appreciated gentlemen,

:D

Edited November 29, 2012 by meshcarver

[mzltv 2281]

Thread of the year. :beans:

[Skat3rat 1633]

HAHAHAHA that was genius. But seriously I thought that the taking a crap feature was just a joke and wasn't actually going to be added.

[Average Pegasus 646]

HAha ha.. Priceless. bean for you sir!

[twinturbonet (DayZ) 294]

Jesus. lol. I remember Rocket saying that he has thought of the pooping idea being part of the game. I believe he mentioned that it could be the cause or carry of a disease. Don't really remember much of the details, or if he even drilled into details or not.

Edited November 29, 2012 by twinturbonet

[meshcarver 154]

lol... ;)

It's good to cheer up these forums once in awhile..!

Edited November 29, 2012 by meshcarver

[CptMugwash 16]

Brilliant!

Locations, the common place for a turd would be the woods because of the cover but players could go in a pond and contaminate the water, so before another player goes to that pond to get a drink they have to check for floaters. You could do it in entrances to buildings too so it's unavoidable and maybe leave a brown parcel in your friends brand new UAZ. What about whiping your arse? Maybe a 1% chance of a 'Clean Cut' no whiping, but you'd have to loot toilet roll and if you don't have any you'd need to go in some woods and use leaves, less effective and small chance of using poison ivy. Maybe, if it's solid, be able to pick it up and throw it at other players, splat it off walls or smear it to write something, but you'll be at risk of catching something.

[NoyZ (DayZ) 66]

@OP Holy shit . . .pardon the expression. . . . I needed a good 'ole belly laugh. THANK YOU!!

Me likes!!

[jaytmuk (DayZ) 621]

I used to love Daley thompsons decathlon, Me and all me mates round bashing the ZX Spectrum keys to oblivion lol <3

http://youtu.be/OPcdDovVHtk

Good dayz :D

Edited November 29, 2012 by jaytmuk

[DemonGroover 8836]

Only as long as snipers can have a Steam Achievement.

Turtle HeadShot.

Edited November 29, 2012 by DemonGroover

[meshcarver 154]

For players who buy the limited edition of SA, as a bonus when they take a shit, they can collect the nuts and corn as extra rations to give a +5 health boost.

"What happens in the woods, stays in the woods."

[Senrain 148]

WAT

[SalamanderAnder (DayZ) 1747]

I've actually been thinking about this too. Defecation is an effective way of telling what kind of health you are in. Rocket already mentioned dysentery and cholera so maybe we can hope for some runny, bloody stool to inform us that we've caught a bug. I can just imagine seeing this message on the chatlog:

You just defecated in your pants.

Edited July 8, 2013 by SalamanderAnder

[Devon206 (DayZ) 77]

Maybe if you don't drop your trousers in time you just get a big lump in your pants and run slower, or penguin walk.

[Zuulass 45]

if you could shit on people without them noticing,

all the campers will get diseases.

[Michaelvoodoo25 3120]

So lemme get this right, to take a dump we have to mash the A and D key quickly to squeeze cheese?

[terminal_boy 860]

Being forced to eat badly cooked meat or well past its sell by date canned goods isn't going to cause much straining to be required.

Most likely, you can expect 5 seconds warning before an attack of the Chernarus Fizzy Arse Gravy..