The Joker (DayZ)

Oh my god quit your whining. NO ONE FORCED YOU TO BUY THE GAME!!! no one is forcing you to play it either. What now you are going to say that Rocket has to pay your electric bill because your computer needs electricity to run in order to play the game? you are an idiot please quit playing this game and go play farmville.

Dude you are a complete idiot. If everyone had a problem on a server like this everyone would have their own server and no players playing on it. How dare someone complain about someone abusing power. Your resolution to the problem is idiotic and makes you look like a moron.

or pull a bear grylls and drink our urine!!!!!!!! lulz

for the love of everything holy... this thread is for reporting bugs. not requests!! actually this isn't even the place to report bugs....

wow if you don't want a fix then don't post it lol.....

pssst the atv is the best thing you can get in my opinion. its quick off road and easy to hide. if you have found one fix it keep it and make sweet sweet love to it before you log off.....

don't waste your time her vagina obviously is hurting her. no sense in arguing or trying to teach a retard anything. let her keep getting killed over and over till she learns to survive..

facepalm......... is this troll food? first of all there is a place to make suggestions this is not the place. second of all quit playing like a noob suck it up

oh my goodness look everyone an einstien! wow look if you want a simple game to play look at the NES system and play mario bros it has simple controls it has a direction pad and two buttons A and B. have fun and as far as your request again for a weapon...... HATCHET it has a wood handle and a chuck of metal at the end that has sharp edges that is red.... find one equip it to from your toolbelt and press R then use the left mouse button to use it..... they are found everywhere just look.... wait why am i trying to teach a retard how to play a game and is to stupid to use google or youtube to learn.... better yet dumbass uninstall and go play with your my little ponnies. dipstick

its called a hatchet and its the easiest weapon to find and it is a melee weapon. learn about a game before you jump into it. there are instruction videos that show you everything you need to know on youtube. please don't waste space on the forums with ignorance. also there is a place for suggestions on this forum. this is not the place for suggesting things especially if you are suggesting something that already exists in the game.

drink less soda and more milk it does a body good and builds strong bones!

they already did that try updating your game......... you can only respawn when you have a broken leg

well if it is boring don't play...... here society gives you your two cents back and we humbly ask you to leave..... the planet. please find the nearest exit and show yourself out. thank you.

throw in a pair of flip flops a stuffed bear ice cream and playboy magazine and we sir have a deal!

I have the rarest item of all on the whole mainland of chenarus toilet paper! do you have it? didn't think so! i will trade the GPS for TP meet me at the out house!

well.... did you make sure you had fresh batteries in it before you spawned? lulz

i play with the flashlight all the time never has been a problem for me just keep running the zombies will eventually loose track of you in the dark just turn your light off. infact i play most of my time at dark. i have the nightvision and thermal asw to help me take out targets if i get in a bind but most of the time i have the flash light out. it helps to if you learn your way around

Ok obviously you are new if you have never been to the NW airfield.... ill step by step help you learn how to play regaurdless what server your on. 1. find a server any server that is running the update that you have. make sure they match. 2. get into the server 3. oohhhh its dark i can't see....... 4. at this point press G that brings up your gear. inside of there you will see a flashlight right click on it and remove it from your toolbelt and press L. that will turn your flash light on.... now you can see in the dark!!! woah! AND THE BEST THING IS! THEY GIVE YOU A FLASHLIGHT WHEN YOU START OUT!!!!! but what if you get lost? find a road any road it will take you somewhere and even if you couldn't find a road in the dark you probably cant find it in the daytime either. quit being a whiney little noob and saying that something is bad for the game if you don't even know what your doing in the game.

He won't understand that the conversation has to go in a particular order. He has to say> thank you for coming to mcdonnalds may i take your order. you say> yes you do get that there is nothing coming right now besides keeping track of behavior? no banning, not even warning? just keeping track? he has to say> would you like a hot apple pie with that? you say> no thanks that is all he say's> thank you sir please drive through. he simply does not posses the ability to read or comprehend what he thinks he is reading. he is also worried about getting caught server hopping.

look seriously i understand why you are upset and think that this is a wrong move. it is easier to go from one server to the next while not having to walk or run there. that north west airfield is so far away and everytime you get there you jump from server to server to server to server because of "lag" or "wrong time of day". we get it we understand you don't want to ruin your rep or get banned because you can't find ONE server of the thousands that works for you. FIND A SERVER AND STICK WITH IT.. now this is the part where you come back with... it is full or its not updated its messed up so i have to find another server. facts are its really not that hard to find a damn server. you just don't want to be watched as you hop from server to server and even if some how you were really finding it hard to find a server (which is hard to believe) all you have to do is say hey i shouldn't have been banned as you can see i only logged in to these servers for less than a minute not enough time to scavenge loot just checking to see if it was daytime or not please unban me. if it logs you in it logs you out it will show how long you were in there. so in that instance you have nothing to worry about. but then again i doubt that is why you are worried about being banned because chances are you are a lame ass server hopper.

yeah i am soooo raging right now i am going to hulk out! raaaaawwwwrrrr hulk smas........ oh wait i forgot i am on the internet... dealing with half baked kids that think that because they are great at a game they can in turn use those skills in real life.... how about this just tell me here are your fries sir have a great day and thanks for choosing McDonnalds....

ok how about WoW? or runescapies? or just plain ole dumb f@#ktard kid?

hope your mommy changes your pampers soon cause you are getting grumpy and whiney go play CoD and quit yer bitchen

well played sir well played but its not over till the fat lady sings... or who ever is singing in this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS1wzdlu-WM

being a dickhead is telling a game developer that he is lazy. well i take that back that doesn't make you a dickhead that makes you a flippin moron that needs to find the nearest tall building and see how well you fly.... just sayin.. go play CoD kid