Three months on a life raft after our trawler sank and the first thing I see is what appears to be a badly hurt man. I shout out at him "Hello?" - I really need something to eat and drink, but this fellow seems strangely mute. He starts walking up to me and then I notice his eye is hanging out. His eye. What on earth? I decide that the best course of action is to muster my last energy and run up to a shack in front, I spot some more of these weird people... They remind me of Shaun of the dead and I laugh out loud. Not a good idea, the zombies come straight at me... I run on into the forest, hiding desperately to try and shake them lose. After half an hour I move out. I decide to head North, years at sea have taught me well and I know where North is just by checking my Swatch and looking at the sun. I see pipes in the distance, some sort of factory? I decide to explore, but as I get closer I get shot at! What the hell! I dodge the shots and run up to a wall. I couldn't see where the shooter was so I decide to wait and listen. More shots, but the bullets land a good 20 meters away from me in a shrub. Is he blind-firing? I peak over the wall and see that there is a line of fire from the factory roof to the bush, I reckon the shooter is up there or in one of the countless windows, although I can't see him at the moment. I run in the opposite direction from the bush and circle the factory, making sure I don't get spotted. I notice a building that looks like a fire-station, maybe I can find some food there, I am not hungry yet, but have this feeling that food will be tricky. I get in and all I can find is some useless empty cans, someone must have been through here. I scan the street for trouble, I notice some zombies and wait it out. Once it turned its back on me I dash across the road into an apartment block. There is a backpack on the floor and I take it, I also find a tin of beans, that will be handy! A floor up and I find some ammo. It looks like it is Russian made, I guess it is AK ammo. But I don't have an AK, I stuff it in the backpack anyway, right at that moment an enormous gun-fight breaks out on the factory roof, I peak through the window and see a guy get killed by a fellow in a ghillie suit, the shots sound like the dead guy had a sniper rifle of sorts and the ghillie guy seemed to be firing some sort of automatic gun. Two seconds later the guy in the ghillie suit gets shot, I didn't even hear a gun fire, but he went down like a ragdoll... I spot the tree ridge beyond, not far from where I was earlier but can't see anything. Dilemma, do I go up the roof to see if I can find a gun, or even something to drink? I wait. Nothing happens but it is getting dark. Slowly the sun sinks behind the hills to the west. I decide to wait another 15 minutes, it has gone eerily quiet in this town and I hope to sneak to the roof at night. It is dark, I head out, avoiding the zombies and still thinking of Nick Frost. Legend. I get to the factory unnoticed, or so I hope, I decide to go up through the inside - on the floor is a crowbar! That is handy! At least I will have something to hit out with. I hear flies buzzing as I get higher in the staircase. It is now dark outside and I decide to risk it, I crawl out onto the roof and spot the first body to my left. It is the ghillie guy, I take his ghillie and find his AK, I have bullets for it, but so did he, 3 full clips and it is loaded already! He has some food and soda and a bandage, I take the lot. In the meantime I spotted the other guy, he is more in the open... do I risk it? Yes, I rely on the darkness and crawl over to him. Impact next to me! I just about hear a rifle fire in the distance and then... You are Dead. That never happened to Nick Frost and Simon Pegg. This is a cruel world.
