Searching through the endless maze of hallways and empty rooms, all I could think of was my family. My wife and child were waiting for my return, fear and hunger gripping their bodies. I knew they would be "safe" waiting for me in the forest until I arrived. How long has it been since their bodies had nourishment? Days? Weeks? The days seem to blur together when their is no reason for keeping time. Each second is spent searching for scraps of food that may allow my family to live another day. Would it really be worthwhile to see another day? In these times? Regardless, I have to try. Krasnostav. At least, I think that was the name. I vaguely remember seeing the sign outside the town as I made my ascent up the hill. The only thing on my mind was feeding my family while anything else I may find would simply be a bonus. The feeling of joy overcame any sense of security I had as I found an apple on the table, albeit nearly rotten to the core. It would have to do for now. My beautiful little girl wouldn't mind the taste and even if she did, she was too young to articulate her disapproval with words. As I left the old building, that's when we met. Walking out of a long abandoned police station in no better condition than myself, I didn't know what to think. My first thought was to ask you for help, to beg you for any morsel you had. The thought quickly faded as I felt a slight movement beyond my control. I could see the look on your face as it was one of sheer terror and disbelief. My mouth wanted to speak the words of peace, but my body was making the decisions for itself. The AK lifted itself seamlessly into position, firmly placed against my shoulder. I could see the look on your face almost turn into one of understanding, as if you knew what needed to be done, and you accepted it. Your words betrayed your emotions as your mouth opened and uttered, "No, please....", but it was too late, the instrument of survival bucked hard into my shoulder over and over, only resting for the briefest of moments. The geysers of dust behind you began to conceal any emotions that would have been visible on your face. It seemed that my body was at the will of another power as I was unable to control my own thoughts and actions. As the dust began to fade and you slumped to your knees, I could see your face, quite clearly. As the blood rushed out of your mouth, your body began to lurch forward until it hit the ground with what sounded like a thunderous roar. Then you fell silent. What would you have done? If you had family that depended on you, would you have done the same? That's when the thought crosses my mind, were you simply doing the same? Did I just create an orphan or a widow? The thought can't settle in my mind for long, as I must now continue the neverending search for sustenance. You must understand that I took only what was needed for my family to survive. I took no pleasure in the thought of seeing you there, still as a rock. The world we now live in is to blame, for I have never killed a man out of hate, but of fear. Fear of losing my family, my purpose, my sanity. One day, all of these things may be forgiven. I can only hope so, as the pain that lives deep inside me now only adds to that of the pain of hunger. I'm sorry to your family. I'm sorry that it had to come to the point of no return. I'm sorry that I didn't try to help. I'm so sorry......
