Grimey Rick

Put it on your hotbar and then press the corresponding button. ;)

I remained hopeful the joke would wear off after the first eighteen. He posted here for a month like any other person, then all of a sudden began with the quirky, broken English. Like I said, 'twas amusing at first. Y'know what? Scratch that. Jumping on the ol' "LOL, so funny dude!!! You are the only reason I come to these forums! You're such an original and funny guy! Completely average stories are way more entertaining when delivered in Borat's dialect!" You've been a member here twelve days. I'll take what you say seriously in another month or so. By the way, I'd chill on the name-calling. I received a warning point for calling someone an ignoramus a few months ago. I'd rank git higher on the offensive scale than ignoramus.

Luckily, it wasn't intended to answer the OP's question. Phew! Let me Google that for you.

These posts were funny the first eighteen times. 1/10

My video card was $900.

You've never played with me. I go Red Orchestra on baddies e'ryday, son.

I no understand this words? Sissy fire? This mean for to kill all noob? k

Is it balanced? Nope. Does development care? Nope. Will a ton of baddies chime in about how it IS balanced? Yup. #inb4lock

I'm glad you're enjoying the game, but I don't buy the whole leaving notes thing. I don't expect you give a damn whether I do or not, but that just seems too random. How did you guys meet each other the first time? When you leave a note that says, "See you Sunday," what if your friend can't make it? Does he shoot you a message or leave you in the dark potentially waiting there for hours? Survival in this game is already so easy, but to me, this is just forcing you to play an already boring game by yourself most of the time. If it wasn't for TeamSpeak and being able to shoot the shit with my pals while playing, I'd never log on. Anyway, kudos to you for trying to make this game fun again.

So how do you find your friends?

Without going into explicit detail, this was my point: Presumably you already own a computer. If it plays DayZ already, there's virtually no point in upgrading. Upgrading will yield virtually no improvement. Since you posted on the DayZ forums and made a point mentioning you'll be grabbing an SSD later for DayZ, one would think the purpose of the computer would be mainly playing DayZ, thus the reason for an upgrade. Obviously you'll do more with the computer than game, but you build a new gaming computer to... game. Much the same way you'd make small trips in your economic car when necessary, even though you primarily bought it for the two hour daily commute to work.

Define dumb. Building a computer for a specific game is dumb? I built this computer specifically for Battlefield 4. I built my last computer specifically for World of Warcraft. I guess I'm dumb. (Even though I didn't need opinions on what hardware to buy. #datinternettho)

Don't build a computer for this game. DayZ plays the same on a GTX 580/i5-2500k as it does on a GTX 980/i7-4690x (with the exception of some anti-aliasing and shaders). Frame rate still takes a kick in the nuts in cities. If all you do is play DayZ, save your money. EDIT: Not being a cynic, just trying to help.

The guy was asking how many times one must hit another with an axe to kill him. I don't think he (or anyone else) really gives a shit what you guys think of him. Hell, I hate most of the people on these boards, especially the white knights. ;) @OP: What kind of axe did you have? A fire axe will generally drop a guy in a couple of hits to the upper torso. A splitting axe, a couple more.

It's not sexist. The Derringer is made small enough to fit neatly into an average sized vagina. It was made explicitly for females! On that note, an average vagina is two slots in your inventory. I wonder if I can fit my hacksaw into my ol' lady? I'll post pics later. Anyhow, I found one of these earlier today while playing with my wife (we haven't played in two months) and get this, she annoyed the shit out of me until I gave it to her. Further proof that it's 100% for ladies. This is what happens when the search function is used. #epicnecro #causticpost

The MP5-K is a piece of shit. /thread

There was nothing to excuse, mate. It's a game full of infected/zombies, neither of which exist beyond a few wild claims on the internet. It was a pretty accurate statement, all things considered. My problem is not with a game being realistic. My problem is that people will complain a game ISN'T realistic because of how fast we're able to run, but these same people will ignore someone being shot five times in the chest with a Mosin before going unconscious, or a Jimmy-rigged splint completely curing a broken leg. Therein lies my issue.

Did you even read the post beyond the first line? Powerhouse is not a power reader, it would seem.

I would play it as well, but it's not gonna happen. The entire point of my post was that DayZ isn't going to be like that. People are nit-picking over things like run speed and playing the realism card when in actuality, run speed is probably only 1/64th of the equation. I, too, played through Skyrim a few times with about 250 active mods ranging from Frostfall, Wet and Cold, and Realistic Needs and Diseases to Climates of Tamriel, Improved Weight System, etc. I really enjoy the challenge, and I'd welcome it in DayZ, but again, it's not gonna happen to enough of an extent to bother worrying over it.

♥ I've been sucking long and hard on my Jameson Irish Whiskey whilst thinking of you, baby.

You're right. Zombie apocalypses are real and happen all the time! /sarcasm Why don't we take this stamina thing ten steps further and actually make it realistic? You start off with a 1.5% chance to twist an ankle when jogging, without any weight on your back. When your backpack has 10lbs in it, and every 10lbs thereafter, add an additional 3% chance per step taken. Assuming your bag has a maximum weight of 40lbs, you're then at a 13.5% chance to roll an ankle with every step. Because, y'know, let's realism. Once your ankle has been injured, you're unable to walk unless you drop some weight. You're then faced with difficult decisions regarding your gear, and you're then forced to move at half normal speed for the next week of in-game time or until your character dies. We could go really, really far with realism. Why not make our characters produce lactic acid when they run? Once lactic acid starts rising from our throats and into our mouths, we begin to fatigue extremely quickly and our characters begin to think that they need much more water than they actually do. We're forced to drink more than we actually need and thus run the risk of poisoning ourselves as we probably won't have enough water purification tablets to satiate our current thirst. We could also integrate a graphical effect that represents panic whilst running from something for too long. Perhaps we begin to view any friendly persons traveling with us as hostile infected/zombies, and in our panic for survival we attack them in our moment of stricken hysteria. After several days of travel and with dozens of pounds of equipment on our backs, maybe we're only capable of short bursts of speed twice, maybe thrice per day. That seems fairly representative of a normal person's level of stamina in a similar situation. That'd be fun, right? Walking alongside a road in the woods as you approach Svetlojarsk for some supplies, only to be dropped by someone sitting atop a building on lookout without the ability to flee, because you're far too tired. Maybe the game would be so realistic, you'd welcome a bullet to the throat? It'd be a sweet release from the insanity of our new world! Or better yet, maybe you can't resupply, because after the game has been released for a week, there is no more loot! If you didn't begin growing fruits and vegetables at release, your character, and every character thereafter won't find anything but berries and rabbits! Or better still, you can only make one character! Because realism. If this game is really meant to be realistic, let's go all the way with it. Let's not half-ass it and complain about things like the speed at which we're able to run and the ballistics currently available in-game only to ignore actual realism. The game might be released in 2020 if the development team was willing to do such a thing, but it'd be totally worth it, right? ...right?

This is a video game, guys. It's not realistic. I don't know why so many of you go on and on and on so much about shit that doesn't matter. This isn't a simulation. It's a video game set in a zombie/infected apocalypse. If this game was real, I wouldn't be able to mend a broken leg in seconds with a stick and a T-shirt. If you slow us down too much, you'll lose a lot of players. No one wants to make a half hour trek from Svetlojarsk to Berezino for the sake of "realism". EDIT: And no, I can't run 50km/h. Someone above can't quite grasp sarcasm.

I would like to be able to save my progress. DayZ is a game that is far too hard. When you die, you lose everything, including your dignity. A way to save your character/dignity to restore at a later point after dying would be great. Lately, I've been playing a lot of Pokémon and Zelda. These games both incorporate a save feature. If the developers of children's games know enough to add such a crucial feature to the aforementioned titles, then why doesn't Bohemia come to their senses and hop on the bandwagon? I really can't believe the complete lack of common sense put forth by the development team.

I can run 50km/h. Buff the running speed, if anything.

Don't connect to a server that's restarting/just restarted! When the servers are booting, they don't immediately connect to the central hive; it takes them a few minutes to do so. If you're connected to the server (even at the Please wait... screen) when it finally synchronizes with the hive, that new character will then be recognized as your official character and you'll lose your actual character. How to avoid this? Don't connect to 8:00/9:20 servers with no one in themDon't immediately connect to a server that's just restarted -- if you were playing on a server that's on your favorites list and it restarts, wait a solid two minutes before reconnectingAs an added level of security, only connect to servers with other players on them. P.S: Thanks to Irish for bringing all of this to my attention the other day after I lost my character. ♥