Bottlerocket

Hey! Top work that chap - just downloaded it. As someone who could never be bothered (or was too fearful) tabbing out to check the online map, this is a godsend.

It puts the lotion in the basket ... and then it gets a devblog again.

Whatever the outcome .. I'm just hoping that there's "Rocket-brand canned seal" in the next update.

Are you near trees? Maybe in the trees? Or at least within sighting distance of a tree? In that case, you may be in or near the woods. Seriously, though - just run in any direction and you'll come across a road eventually. Follow it till you come to a roadsign.

Great idea ... let's put fast travel into the game a'la Skyrim and then you don't need to walk at all. dumbass /sarcasmoff

I think that proper banditry will only really come in with the SA, which will (hopefully) be a more persistent world. People will maybe become more attached to their characters if they've grown over time and collected gear that's rare ... At the moment there's no real penalty for dying, and indeed - the game is actually more fun when you're starting out trying to collect gear. So if you get held up you really have nothing to lose and may as well go down swinging. But with the SA even the clothes you wear will be hard to come by .. so hopefully that will encourage people to keep their characters alive and actually let themselves be held up. Who knows?

It gives you an alternative to a bandit's headscarf when you need to wipe your butt?

You know, something occured to me.... Some of the whole outrage about the cans may have been down to simple jealousy. How many people looked at the names on them and though "Fuck you! I've been playing this game dince day 1 - where's my fucking can of muffins?" Put another way - Would the many people who complained about the new items have gone mental with rage if the devs said they'd decided to name an in-game item in their honour? Just sayin.....

Personally, I liked the new cans and stuff - and I'm especially going to miss Herpy Dooves Canned Muffins now they're gone. And I consider myself one of the more serious players, in that I want DayZ to take its cues from Dawn of the Dead and The Road rather than Zombieland. But if the community wants beans and sardines instead, who am I to argue? I suppose ultimately it's a good thing the devs are listening.

Guess I should have read the patch notes more closely .... just spent an hour stealthing through cherno with an axe looking for a can of Herpy Dooves Canned Muffins (them's good muffins) when I could have run about firing off my enfield screaming I WANT MUFFINS YOU ZOMBIE BITCHES in direct chat. Ah welll ... you live and learn.

I ate me two cans of Herpy Dooves muffins today... Who'da thought muffins in a can could be so good. You could really tase the Doove.

Fell off the industrial building near Komorovo - landed on a zombie and survived. Got shot all to hell and had my leg broken by a guy who cought me cold and emptied 2-3 makarov clips in my direction. Survived by hiding under a tree. And finally - was leaving Elektro when a hacker hit it with what must have been a nuke. Literally within touching distance of a thermonuclear blast, yet I was strangely unscathed o_O

Great work - thanks for the update. Looking forward to trying these new tasty beverages and macheting my first zed.

So we can eat them, obviously. I live in Europe, and it turns out them's good eatin! apparently.

Yes, this is true ... but very few DayZ joke threads made about the ongoing European horsemeat scandal.

I'm cool with the majority of the patch, but the respawn time is way off. Case in point: Heli crashes. I found one last night and took out the four zeds wandering nearby from a relatively close distance....... But by the time I'd walked closer four more 'magically' spawned in front of me. Immersion: blown. And because I was walking, they instantly aggroed and chased me into the woods. I didn't fancy repeating the process so I just kept on running.

Spawn under the ground. Investigate that screaming sound. Eat a piece of infected meat. Turn on your car’s ejector seat. Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die Trust someone you’ve not met before Break your leg walking through a door. Roll off the side of a ledge Get eaten by a little green hedge. Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die Jump down a six-foot drop Try and make an ATV bunny-hop Run down the road carrying flares Get mangled crawling up the stairs Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die Fire a rifle inside a town Press up when you meant to press down. Try and make friends with a bandit crew "Hey – I found a can of Mountain Dew." Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die, dumb ways to di-i-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die Keep running while you’re bleeding like a fountain Say Rocket’s name on top of the Green Mountain Try to fight a god-mode hacker Get teleported to the thunderdome Fry with everyone else in a server nuke They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly Dumbest ways to die Dumbest ways to die Dumbest ways to di-i-i-ie So many dumb So many dumb ways to die fixed that for ya brah

I actually have a character who was 180 days old, at the last count. And its a 'She' - not a he - which shows you how old she is as I can't find a server with female skins still enabled. Anyway, I played her pretty thouroughly for about 40 days, on the coast first of all, then lone wolfing while running from Kemenka to the NE airfield, where I lived for a while hunting the cows and sheep that frequent the place, and going to the lake to the south for water. Then I took a break for a couple of months, then came back. She was still there. In that time she's * Spent time on the coast handing out food, drink and survival supplies to new spawns. * Got her ass shot up and leg broken in a firefight to a bandit ..... who failed to find her after she hid beneath a fir tree. * Killed hundreds of zombies * Walked out from behind a tree to find herself staring down a sniper's rifle. He was using the scope and I was so close I probably blacked it out compeltely - hence my survival. And lots of other adventures. I finally made a camp near Berezino military tents and left her there. What with the fragmentation of servers recently, I finally settled on another... But every so often I'll play on a random one and once in a while - up she'll pop: the LAWOE.

I was at Balota - not the airfield, though, the other building a little to the west. I was watching for movement from the treeline when an incoming round sped past me, so I hit the ground and crawl back into the trees. I didn't see anything for a while, so I flanked the building in a wide semi-circle, coming to rest at its rear. Just as I did so some chap came skulking out from the front, moving past me without seeing me. I lit him up with my makarov, but he ran back the way he'd come ..... So I decide to follow, and go round the front, but there's no-one there ... I creep along and turn the corner .... And there he is - lying prone in a recess with a DMR pointed at me! I'm a dead man! But it just so happened my crosshairs had come to rest right on his head..... I fire first and it's all over. Bap. Got me a DMR out of that - and promptly lost it about ten mins later via a horde of zombie and another player. Good times.

Was looting the Cherno apartments in the dark when I hear screams outside. Thought I'd go up on the roof to have a look around (in the dark??). Pushed 'up' on the ladder, couldn't see when I'd got on the roof, kept pushing up, ran off the side, fell, *crack*, YOU ARE DEAD.

Good spawn for me - it's a short hike to Balota and the airfield/military tents, then onwards to Cherno. Come in through the back way at the apartments (not so good now for loot after the last patch, though) and you're right at the hospital without ever having to go into Cherno proper. After that - you're armed for bear. Krutoy Cap. Now that is a bad spawn.

Download DayZ commander and install the mod - it's pretty much laid out for you in there.

I see a lot of fools thinking they can outrun the curse of the drink I dare not name - or that it will bypass them in some way. Repent, I say unto ye, and rid yourselves of that devil's brew, for surely it summon up a tempest which will consume your very soul. Or cause a Zombie to glitch through a wall and rip ye a new one. 'Tis all good. On a lighter note, the only time I carried, rather than consumed, that ..... beverage..... the server glitched and I washed up on the shore miles from where I left off, losing all my gear - but keeping my stats. The horror .... The horror ..... the horror.

DayZ giveth, DayZ taketh away - mostly taketh.

yeah - what happened to them?