banjo (DayZ)

i always play as a black character on night time servers because it helpe me to stay hidden in the shadows, sometimes i play as a chinese character on night server but only if i have a black balaclava

i like to leave extremely vile and offensive notes such as 'you fucking smelly cunt' or 'your mother sniffs old mens bicycle saddles and then holds her breath and strums' or 'you smell like a blend of dustbins, human shit and rotten vaginas' or 'all black people are good athletes and have larger than average penises' and whatnot I once left a note that encouraged the finder to '...do the world a favour and end your useless pathetic life, your existence is of no benefit to anyone, least of all your family who hate you and call you names behind your back like wanker, shitbag, fuckwit, pea brained loser and spastic' and waited for someone to find it and when a player finally came along he ignored the note so i shot him in the leg and forced him crawl back to the note and made him read it.... he logged off soon after and I have never seen him since, perhaps he took it to heart actually topped himself LOL notes are fun i wish i could draw a penis on them though, i did do one once but the penis was made up of strategically placed full stops exclamation marks and capital i's, it looked terrific when i typed it out but once i exited the writing phase and then read the note all the characters had moved position and it no longer resembled a cock and balls, yet another clear indication that this game requires a great deal of work before it's ready for full release.

a nice story that made me smile

Dean Hall made an awesome mod, of that there is no doubt. Original in concept it has spawned an entire genre and within a couple of years we shall have several zombie survival type games to choose from. Now, during the holidays i was working as a kitchen assistant in my local restaurant and something happened there that struck me as relevant, a commis (trainee) chef made a salad, he took a few different elements and using his imagination he created a really tasty and quite possibly unique dining experience. The Chef decided to put it on the specials board and it sold very well indeed to so much acclaim it is now being placed permanently on the main menu along with the trainees name. Now, if i owned this restaurant would i make this trainee my new head chef? on the strength of one great idea that proved popular? Of course not, that would be insane, he knows nothing about running a kitchen, he knows nothing about building and motivating a team, he knows nothing really about food and although he obviously has an imagination and raw talent he is not a leader of men nor does he possess the type of business acumen and experience required to make a kitchen run smoothly and efficiently. Rocket was a junior coder who had a great idea, so great it made it as a mod to great acclaim and eventually his boss decided to add his idea to the companies main catalog, great, but where they have gone terribly wrong was thinking that having one good idea qualifies a person to be able to build a whole new business from the ground up, could it be that Rocket is not properly equipped to take his great idea from a mod to a full game? I put it you that he is the wrong person to head up this project, he lacks the necessary experience and knowledge and as we speak he is busily F**king DayZ up, artists firing out content faster than the coders can plug the ever increasing leaks that constantly spring from the tired and out dated engine, Towns appearing all over the map, i call them towns but actually it seems more like a challenge to see how many different configurations of the same 11 or 12 enterable buildings can be produced before someone states the obvious and asks 'Hey, what about opening up the many unenterable buildings already present?'. It seems to me that DayZ standalone is drifting aimlessly without serious direction or planning, the 'roadmap' has already been discarded and Rocket announced his intention to quit the game months ago, could it be that the wrong man is holding everyone else back? Is his pointless hanging on onlly muddying the waters and stifling other more energetic, passionate and more experienced individuals? what do you think?

i lol'd very nice video and nice song too

dayz taught me that zombies are not subject to the same physical laws as the rest of us and can disperse their atoms on one side of a wall and reassemble them on the other instantly and without losing forward momentum.

will this run it? and will I be able to put clouds on? also will I be able to record and what kind of FPS might I expect to enjoy in cherno? thank you all in advance Overclocked CPU Overclocked Intel® Core™i5-4670k Quad Core (3.40GHz @ max 4.20GHz) Motherboard ASUS® MAXIMUS VI GENE: RoG, PCI-e 3.0, SATA 3.0, USB3.0, THX Memory (RAM) 8GB KINGSTON HYPERX BEAST DUAL-DDR3 2400MHz X.M.P (2 x 4GB KIT) Graphics Card 2GB NVIDIA GEFORCE GTX 660 - 2 x DVI, HDMI, - 3D Vision Ready Memory - 1st Hard Disk 120GB KINGSTON HYPERX 3K SSD, SATA 6 Gb/s (upto 555MB/sR | 510MB/sW) 2nd Hard Disk 1TB 3.5" SATA-III 6GB/s HDD 7200RPM 32MB CACHE 1st DVD/BLU-RAY Drive 24x DUAL LAYER DVD WRITER ±R/±RW/RAM Power Supply CORSAIR 650W RM SERIES™ MODULAR 80 PLUS® GOLD, ULTRA QUIET

you lost me @ 0:10 when you referred to a black character as a n***** I am black and I find this extremely offensive

...to play vanilla dayz with. i'm a british male aged 32. been playing for about a month, I enjoy pvp but I prefer to resolve conflict using diplomacy. send me a personal message if you are looking for new members. cheers

i take the viewpoint that all bandits are liars and thieves and if i see one i do everything in my power to kill him heros are sometimes bandits so i am ready to shoot when i see a hero but i try to give them the benefit of doubt survivors are usually bandits who haven't killed enough people to get the bandit skin which makes them twice as desperate and therefore more likely to kill so i shoot survivors dead every time i see them gun or no gun its better to nip the bandit problem in the bud, get them on the beach

I think zombies should be allowed to have children if they want to bt I don't want to see them having sex, maybe make it so they do their mating when the server is empty

I would like to see squirrels solving difficult problems to get at some nuts, players could make a assault course with nuts on the end and wait for squirrels to come along and try and get from a to b and win the nuts but you could have a sniper rifle pointing on the nuts so when the squirrel arrives shoot it and eat it. also crows are meant to be clever, maybe have crows who can take a nut out of a bottle using a piece of wire edit make it so you can train a monkey to steal fruit from players tents

I would like to see cars with special car weapons like a button you push and it puts oil on the road behind you making other cars skid. another one is you push a button and some spikes come out of the wheels for chopping zombie legs or players. also put underground garages to hide the cars maybe put fake grass on the roof to hide them from helicopters

i'd like to see a family of ducks, mum and dad with a few kids walking around the ponds in a train like formation hopping into the water from time to time to cool down from the sun. all birds should fly south for winter though except robins who should stay hidden until Christmas time then they should become visible and maybe land on your vehicle.

m'kay I suppose it's time to try out this ignore list feature. keep shit posting grandpa and good luck with the self loathing

some people cant help themselves. they need to have something/someone to project their unhappiness onto to, it acts as a kind of pressure valve against depression, this guy Raymond is basically using this forum to spend all his negative energy. just be grateful you aren't being consumed by bitterness and anger like this guy, imagine being like that, actually posting about stuff you don't like more than about the things you do like, I feel mildly depressed just thinking about it. OP, again a nice little read, thankyou, keep them coming. :beans:

I was playing on a server last week when I ran into another player in balota. He seemed very nice and asked me how I was doing and if I needed anything. I thought about it and then said I wouldn't mind a better gun and maybe a car. We both laughed and he told me to follow him to his camp in the west, which I did and we talked about dayz and the bandit problem. When we arrived at his camp I couldn't believe my eyes, there were cars and bikes and helicopters and about 20 tents all surrounded by sand bags and barbed wire, I told him it is the best camp I have ever seen and he said yes, it is a good one isn't it. He took me round the tents and explained how they were all organised into guns, ammunition, medical supplies and all the other things a player needs to survive, he said I could take whatever I wanted but I was not allowed to take a helicopter, again we both laughed. I took a DMR and 12 magazines a ghillie suit, some NVG's some morphine and a toolkit, then I chose a yellow car because it reminded me of my girlfriends car but he got a bit angry and said I was stupid for choosing the worst car. he suggested I take the ural, I didn't want to fall out about it so I took it and said thankyou and drove away towards starry where I was hoping to find some bandits to kill with my new DMR.

when he got angry after I chose the yellow car I did feel afraid, he threatened to shoot me and ban me if I didn't take a ural I just thought he was joking around but looking back he was very very very angry which seems strange now.

it was on dayz vanilla, I need to check dayz commander to find out which server but it was a US server on the main hive. He told me that making camps was what he enjoyed doing and once he finished making them he fills them with gear and then goes to the coast to help noobs amd fresh spawns, he said once the camp is attacked he wipes the server and starts again in a new location.

another cold heartless killing from my favourite dayz murderer. the first place I come when I log in is the bandits campfire to see if LHE has posted a tale and I'm not even a bandit

why does being new to a forum seem to get used as an insult so often on here? as an example here is a thread devoted to bashing a new member http://dayzmod.com/forum/index.php?/topic/151670-forum-noobs/ here is one of that new members topics, a story he wrote about his experiences playing as a bandit, he posted in the correct section, there is no inflammatory language yet look at the reactions from some older members http://dayzmod.com/forum/index.php?/topic/151660-i-hate-cowardly-incompetent-fools/ here is a quote from that topic aimed at another new member, the emphasis on the word new was added by the troll who wrote it. 'Multi Quote of the FUCKING YEAR You are obliviously NEW here.............. but thanks for sharing' I'm not trying to fight this guys battles, as he shows in the linked thread he fights his own battles very well indeed and easily destroys one troll. surely this forums main role is to offer help and support to new players, which it does excellently, it is only a handful of members who act like this, I was just wondering why they do it?

cant help but notice, you appear to be trolling the OP. perhaps you aren't aware, I know some people don't realise when they're being trolls. He isn't posting anything in the wrong place, you've explained that you don't like his stories, he has decided to ignore you but you keep turning up. please let it go, it's starting to look a bit creepy.

I shot a bandit today outside the petrol station near cherno, hopefully if we all try and kill at least one bandit each at least once a week we can get rid of all of them and make chernarus a safe environment for everyone to enjoy in peace.

hello can I come? I am trying to do my bit about the bandit problem but it's a tough ask on your own. maybe if I join a group like yours we can find a solution together

my name is frank but you can call me banjo