My compliments to Dr Wasteland and the TMW, and a request

[Angel Knight 427]

Dr Wasteland, the TMW, all whitelisted medics, and those aspiring to join their noble ranks:

I am taking this moment to congratulate you all on running a very smooth, very professional search and rescue team. The number of lives you have impacted is countless, and the grim fate of many survivors has been delayed time and again by your heroic and selfless actions. This barren wasteland would be a much darker place without the beacon of hope that you provide to the injured, and the salvation you grant to the injured.

I must, however, make a request of you. I know very little of the organizational structure of the TMW, and thus I am not sure to whom this letter should be addressed. Whether Dr Wasteland does all of the organization and training of new field medics on his own, or whether he has an entire team of trained professionals guiding these young medics into their new career, or perhaps even whether the grizzled veteran combat medics are paired up with the newer recruits, I have not the foggiest.

Having no idea to whom this plea should be directed, I shall simply state that this request is, To Whom It May Concern. Please be more thoughtful in the selection of equipment for your medics. I realize that they are equipped with the finest medical supplies available in Chernarus, and that you are doing everything in your power to ensure that each and every doctor is capable of both medical attention and self defense. However, I believe the balance may be slightly off.

You see, if I were a doctor, I would be certain to carry multiple blood bags, several morphines, loads of painkillers and perhaps even a box of antibiotics. These are paramount to such duties. After securing such items, I would certainly bring along a handy sidearm or even a trusty Winchester. I would certainly name it Betsy and speak with a southern drawl upon acquiring said weapon.

The medic who attended to me this past evening, however, was not carrying such items. I know that you are concerned for the safety of your medics, but I think that equipping them with M107 sniper rifles and M4A3 CCO assault rifles may be slightly overboard on the self defense issue. I'm also appalled to learn that he had not a single blood bag with him, and was carrying only a single dosage of morphine. I'm sure your medics must constantly be on guard, and that they are accustomed to defending themselves from bandits.

If you insist on arming them so well that they cannot make room for medical supplies, perhaps a reevaluation is in order. At the very least, some additional training on the use of said firearms. The medic whom I had the displeasure of meeting must certainly have been nervous, handling such a large rifle. I am also certain that it was his nervousness that led him him to empty two entire magazines of the M107 into the side of my vehicle. I'm sure it was also his nervousness that led him to continue firing at me with the M4A3 CCO after I ejected from the car and took cover under a bush.

While I can respect his nervousness at handling such a large weapon, such behaviour is simply not acceptable in such a professional organization. The two weapons are now in my possession, where they will remain until the medics are taught to use them properly - meaning that aggressively attempting to murder harmless passersby is ever-so-slightly outside of the medic protocol. Also, it would behoove you to inform them that discharging their weapons in the dead of night will create a muzzle flash, which could perhaps be used to return fire with an AKM and render them serious injury.

On a perhaps less important note, while investigating the body of Mr "Medic", I was also discouraged to find that he was not even carrying his TMW identification card. This is a most grievous oversight, as there was absolutely nothing on him to indicate he was connected to the TMW. Nonetheless, his name was Medic, so I'm sure he must have been one of your anxious recruits.

Do pass on my condolences to his family and coworkers, I'm sure he meant well. I'll see you out on the wasteland.

For a brighter Chernarus

- Angel Knight

P.S. I do expect compensation for the grievous damage to my vehicle and the 5 rounds I expended while 'sedating' him.

Edited September 16, 2012 by Angel_

[Ipurgepeople 106]

This was beautifully written, I must say. Beans for taking the time to write that out, as well as the simple fact that you didn't rage or flame :)

[Angel Knight 427]

This was beautifully written, I must say. Beans for taking the time to write that out, as well as the simple fact that you didn't rage or flame :)

I can't rage about it; got a free coyote backpack, M107, and M4A3 CCO out of the deal. Car is screwed though, and I'm down to 3k blood. :D

Just for clarification, this was some player named Medic who started shooting at me randomly while I was driving. After I killed him and learned his name, I thought it was ironic and was inspired to write this.

[Saucy (DayZ) 38]

I don't see how he's related to TMW just because his name is Medic. Don't make assumptions; if it was a TMW member, he'd be in the list in the thread and PROBABLY wouldn't be named 'Medic'.

[Angel Knight 427]

On a perhaps less important note, while investigating the body of Mr "Medic", I was also discouraged to find that he was not even carrying his TMW identification card. This is a most grievous oversight, as there was absolutely nothing on him to indicate he was connected to the TMW. Nonetheless, his name was Medic, so I'm sure he must have been one of your anxious recruits.

Just for clarification, this was some player named Medic who started shooting at me randomly while I was driving. After I killed him and learned his name, I thought it was ironic and was inspired to write this.

I don't see how he's related to TMW just because his name is Medic. Don't make assumptions; if it was a TMW member, he'd be in the list in the thread and PROBABLY wouldn't be named 'Medic'.

If you can't smell the amount of sarcasm dripping off that first paragraph, or maybe just read the part where I specifically stated that he was not connected to the TMW, then I really can't help you.

EDIT - The proper response would be a letter from the TMW denying their involvement, just saying.

Edited September 16, 2012 by Angel_

[Ipurgepeople 106]

lol, if you legitimately need medical help, I do have a blood bag on me. Unfortunately, someone raided my tent and my half dozen blood bags, morphine stash, etc. are gone, as well as, apparently, one of my mountain dews, which I must have mistakenly placed in the tent. Oops. Down to one.

No, I'm not whitelisted as a medic, but I am whitelisted on the trader's list, if that makes any difference to you, lol.

Edited September 16, 2012 by Ipurgepeople

[Muncywolverine 236]

Woah woah wait i think i skipped a paragraph.

He attacked you? Can we get a steam name please?

Edit: I'm not part of the TMW myself i'm just one of the whitelist amateurs, but i'll hunt this guy down if i have to >.>.

Edit Edit: Did you even contact him through something other than the forums? Like steam/skype/teamspeak?

Edited September 16, 2012 by Muncywolverine

[Angel Knight 427]

lol, if you legitimately need medical help, I do have a blood bag on me. Unfortunately, someone raided my tent and my half dozen blood bags, morphine stash, etc. are gone, as well as, apparently, one of my mountain dews, which I must have mistakenly placed in the tent. Oops. Down to one.

No, I'm not whitelisted as a medic, but I am whitelisted on the trader's list, if that makes any difference to you, lol.

Appreciate the offer, but this encounter occurred on a private hive. You would have to get yourself geared and visit a hospital before you could help; furthermore, I have my merry men to call on for assistance :D

[Angel Knight 427]

Woah woah wait i think i skipped a paragraph.

He attacked you? Can we get a steam name please?

Edit: I'm not part of the TMW myself i'm just one of the whitelist amateurs, but i'll hunt this guy down myself.

As I stated in my OP and in my reply to Saucy, the guy named Medic was not a member of the TMW. Granted, my OP was excessively wordy for entertainment's sake, so I don't hold it against you if you missed that detail.

On a perhaps less important note, while investigating the body of Mr "Medic", I was also discouraged to find that he was not even carrying his TMW identification card. This is a most grievous oversight, as there was absolutely nothing on him to indicate he was connected to the TMW. Nonetheless, his name was Medic, so I'm sure he must have been one of your anxious recruits.

The post was written in such a way that it would cast blame on the TMW, but the final paragraph would would make it pretty obvious that it was a random bandit named Medic. I could have been more specific I suppose, but it would have disrupted the flow of my writing.

Edited September 16, 2012 by Angel_

[Ipurgepeople 106]

Depends on what private hive. I've been on a few

[Muncywolverine 236]

As I stated in my OP and in my reply to Saucy, the guy named Medic was not a member of the TMW. Granted, my OP was excessively wordy for entertainment's sake, so I don't hold it against you if you missed that detail.

The post was written in such a way that it would cast blame on the TMW, but the final paragraph would would make it pretty obvious that it was a random bandit named Medic. I could have been more specific I suppose, but it would have disrupted the flow of my writing.

Well i'm sorry to hear about this :/.

There are a select few douchebags out there... Not sure how you contacted this guy, was he whitelisted? What was his forum name?

[Angel Knight 427]

This shootout occurred on The Asylum. It's a private hive that is supposed to permit building construction, although I have yet to figure out how to do that.

EDIT - The regular server, not the hunger games one.

Edited September 16, 2012 by Angel_

[Angel Knight 427]

Well i'm sorry to hear about this :/.

There are a select few douchebags out there... Not sure how you contacted this guy, was he whitelisted? What was his forum name?

I didn't contact him. I was just driving down the road and he opened up on me with an M107 from a hill nearby, so I got out and threw a flare at him. It ruined his night vision, and I ran up and shot him with an AKM. His name was medic, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity to write something silly.

The TMW was not involved in this incident; the letter I wrote above was simply an impromptu roleplay-style letter I felt like writing as though my character mistook this guy for a TMW member.

In any case, I didn't want to just come out and outright say that the guy wasn't TMW, but it is pretty heavily implied in the final paragraph. My apologies for the confusion; I wrote it in such a way that it must be read carefully to pick up on its satirical nature and thus infer that the medic in the story was not from the TMW.

Edited September 16, 2012 by Angel_

[Muncywolverine 236]

I didn't contact him. I was just driving down the road and he opened up on me with an M107 from a hill nearby, so I got out and threw a flare at him. It ruined his night vision, and I ran up and shot him with an AKM. His name was medic, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity to write something silly.

The TMW was not involved in this incident; the letter I wrote above was simply an impromptu roleplay-style letter I felt like writing as though my character mistook this guy for a TMW member.

In any case, I didn't want to just come out and outright say that the guy wasn't TMW, but it is pretty heavily implied in the final paragraph.

Ah alright. I was under the impression you contacted him and he greeted you with bullets xD.

Well good for you putting that bastard down. It's 3:00am here i'm having a hard time detecting sarcasm. lol.

[Angel Knight 427]

Ah alright. I was under the impression you contacted him and he greeted you with bullets xD.

Well good for you putting that bastard down. It's 3:00am here i'm having a hard time detecting sarcasm. lol.

Silly east coast people.

[Muncywolverine 236]

Silly east coast people.

Sleep is for pussies.

[Dark50 0]

lol east coast ftw my friend. the letter was VERY entertaining though if I do say so myself

[Dr Wasteland MD 597]

Dear Sir or Madam,

Our Organization has been informed that you shot at and fatally killed a survivor by the name of "Medic." You then helped yourself to your victim's belongings, including a TMW issue coyote backpack, M107, and a M4A3 CCO. The first item on this list is considered essential to carrying medical supplies, and the second two we refer to as surgical tools and implements. You have offended TMW in three ways:

1. In full knowledge that medic "Medic" was a Member in good standing of the TMW, you did not allow him to kill you and feel good about himself.

2. In full knowledge that medic "Medic" was a Member in good standing of the TMW, you murdered medic "Medic."

3. In full knowledge that medic "Medic" was a Member in good standing of the TMW, you took his belongings and have not given them back.

You have received this letter because we wish you to return the TMW property that we acquired from some dead guy and then you unlawfully stole from a TMW Operative. We could care less that you killed him, we just want that stuff back (seriously, yesterday someone killed Bob and Dr. Wasteland just laughed and asked where his pizza was, YOU GOTTA HELP US).

At TMW, we firmly believe that laughter is not the best medicine - it's bullets. Our dedicated medic "Medic" was just returning from laying down some serious medical ordinance when you gunned him down in cold blood. "Medic" has already been informed by Dr. Wasteland, personally, that he is bad and he should feel bad, and "Medic" has stated that he feels terrible about wasting so many good medical supplies and not even "healing" his patient - although we did hear that he managed to heal your vehicle, and for that, kind sir, we demand payment.

Please return our valuable surgical equipment to us as, without that equipment, we find it very difficult to provide the kind of medical attention that Chernarus deserves. You have 48 hours to comply or else we will come and heal that ass.

Sincerely,

Dr. Wasteland, M.D.

Edited September 16, 2012 by Dr Wasteland MD

[Angel Knight 427]

Dear Dr Wasteland,

While the accusations you level against me are most severe, I cannot deny them. I do present, however, the following facts in my defense:

1. Your medic "Medic" appeared to be in dire need of the medical attention you have described, and I hurriedly administered it to him prior to anything else. I realize that the TMW's definiton of medical attention and murder are incredibly similar, but this was assuredly medical attention. Although not part of your organization, I do have extensive knowledge in this field and he was clearly in need of an immediate dosage. I administered 145g of lead as accurately as possible, spread out evenly among five capsules, and just in the nick of time.

2. The belongings which I have reportedly stolen from your medic "Medic" are in fact my own, as evidenced by the monogrammed "Angel Knight" on the side of both pieces of equipment - clearly engraved on the sides by a hunting knife. I can assure you that these markings were already on the equipment when I picked them up.

3. While it is true that he healed my vehicle, I in turn also healed him. Given that a human life is far more valuable than any vehicle*, it is only fair to say that this exchange was not even. By my count, it is you who owes me for services rendered.

Despite my own personal feelings on the matter, I do recognize the importance of the continued functionality of the TMW and their mission to spread bullets, free of charge, to all survivors in need. In recognition of such, I volunteer to return the medical equipment that I took from him. Please send your representative to claim the equipment, as I do not have the luxury of travel time. In order to ensure that the equipment is not tampered with, I have hidden it in an inconspicuous location. He will find it on top of the roof of the northern Elektro Fire Station, although he will need to arrive during broad daylight so that he can see it clearly. It will be in the small satchel.

I do hope this will clear up the miscommunication. As for your offer to 'heal my ass', I don't believe it will be necessary at this time. If you insist, of course, feel free to drop by any time. My experienced team of orderlies and nurses will be standing by to tend to as many patients as you care to bring.

For a brighter Chernarus

- Angel Knight

*BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Edited September 16, 2012 by Angel Knight

[CoolCain10 55]

As for your offer to 'heal my ass', I don't believe it will be necessary at this time. If you insist, of course, feel free to drop by any time. My experienced team of orderlies and nurses will be standing by to tend to as many patients as you care to bring.

Hang on did you just threaten the TMW?

[Angel Knight 427]

Hang on did you just threaten the TMW?

Now why in heaven's name would you say such a dreadful thing? I see no threats in here; just free medical attention for all.

Edited September 16, 2012 by Angel Knight

[Dr Wasteland MD 597]

Valued Customer,

We are pleased to accept your heartfelt apology for ruthlessly murdering one of our dedicated medical professionals in cold blood and with extreme prejudice. Furthermore, we are glad that you have seen the light and wish to return our rightful property to the TMW. We take issue with your proposed procedure for returning our property to us, however, and we humbly put forward an alternative method for the return of said equipment. Understanding that your time is valuable (I hope Dr. Wasteland, or as we call him around the office "the Tyrant," doesn't see this, but he actually could not stop laughing when he heard this - I'm not kidding, it's been hours and he's still cackling away in his office - we all fear for our lives), we would not inconvenience you by asking you to meet us in Elektro on the roof of the Fire Station.

Rather, the TMW would like to promise you that we will find you on our own and heal you relentlessly until we are prepared to recover our property. Our dedicated medical research professionals have even devised a revolutionary surgical tool to use to heal you. They call it the M136 Group Healing Device - think, more medicine for more people with only one massive dosage. Currently, we have several medical professionals scouring your server using the M136 GHD (the M stands for Medicine). Please stand still in an open area so that your medicine can be administered as quickly and effectively as possible, with as little damage, er, healing applied to the surrounding area as possible. We welcome you to bring your friends if they find themselves in need of medical attention, we will heal as many people as we can.

Thank you for working with us in these trying times. As always, we strive to heal all those bastards out there who we don't see eye to eye with. Standby for your medicine!

Our preemptive condolences to your soon to be widow,

-Dr. Wasteland

[- Valkyrie - 89]

Flame away.

Edited September 16, 2012 by - Valkyrie -

[Epidemic survivor 8]

LMAO. this is funniest thing ive read all day. i hope you realize that dr wasteland was joking, and two know one named medic is in TMW so why would you assume so?

Edited September 16, 2012 by Epidemic survivor

[ketchup 9]

The trolls have been unleashed.

No TMW members are to shoot on sight or commit banditry, AFAIK. Whitelisted medics, like myself are not bound by those rules but have been shown to be trustworthy to a patient. I follow those rules because I'm a Humanist, not because I'm TMW. I don't tend to last very long

SO...

If he didn't identify himself as a member as TMW, they owe you nothing and you owe them nothing.