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Hetstaine

Dear teleporter

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Thank you ever so muchly for the instant lift through space and time. I was up near Novy after having just marked a heli wreck on the map that had a legit m107 and DMR spawn. In fact it is the first m107 spawn i have seen, so i was of course slighty chuffed. Not having had my DMR for a few days i quickly swapped out my m14 and crouched out of there with a large grin. Heading up to Stary to grab a drink i was shot at near the tents by some rough bush bastard with a winchester, deciding to give him a break i turned and legged it to the forest south of Stary working my way down so i could spy on the heli.

Now sitting under a tree in the rain at about 3 am i wondered if anyone would come and investigate, my plan being to shoot the zeds after i saw them spawn and had ascertained where the other guy was.. possibly freak them out a bit. The downside of my whole operation was that my partner was (once again) lost somewhere in ... 'a place with lots of trees' .Whilst talking to her, listening to the breezy rain swishing through the trees and taking in all concealing positions around the heli..i noticed that all of sudden i was on a surf swept beach with a severe lack of forest and heli crashes.

Hearing a rather nasty jarring crack noise and slumping to the ground i heard..' hey..sweeeeet, i'm on the beach ! Is that you ? ' Seeing briefly through a haze i did indeed notice some other lumpy shapes nearby that may or may not have been my partner. As i watched the you are dead screen pop up, i smiled and thought, ahhhh the journey begins again, and this time she will not get lost.

Thankyou for bringing us closer together but if you are going to warp us to a romantic spot like a moonlit beach i would suggest that you use some forward planning and at least provide some deckchairs, not those cheap ones either, you know the old school ones from the '30's that used to line the Pas de Calais ? Yep..those. And if it is not too much trouble i would also request a handbag with a map and compass for my partner, she likes the funky small bags that only retain 9000 receipts and lip balm.

And one more thing, can you change the sign for Elektro to read in english ? She says she cannot read backwards numbers and letters that look like Eifel Towers very well yet.

Edited by Hetstaine
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The downside of my whole operation was that my partner was (once again) lost somewhere in ... 'a place with lots of trees'

I though it only happened with my partners. lol

They also usually say "I am near the ocean right now"

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Fantastic prose there Hetstaine.

It is about time the hackers showed us some love as they drop us to the planet like a sperm whale, or a very surprised bowl of petunias.

But then we use our improbability drive, otherwise known as alt-f4ing to deny the hackers the satisfaction of seeing a sperm whale and a bowl of petunias crash to the ground.

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That can be a challenge depending on your girl :) You could just beat her into submission but you risk scuffing your knuckles on her teeth and having to mop the floor.

No seriously, she just likes games that are a bit of a challenge. I sweetened her with some early dayz vids on the net..plus it was only 60 bucks, we burn more than that everytime she parks in the no parking spots on the weekend in the city.

Love is needed indeed slarti ( great show ).. teleport ? sure why not, i'm in for shits and giggles after a big day in the wilderness the beach makes a refreshing change. But no cafe ? No Titanic sized liner at the dock awaiting our entrance..just snapped bones, bleeding and dead..is that all they got ? Wheres the pina colada man ?

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Seems more and more every day..and they are only the ones we see, mods must be sick of the fuckers.

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