The Gray Area

[michaelvowles571@hotmail.com 0]

Well written courier, an excellent article. I have been lucky enough not to become the victim of the ruthless backstabbing but that's not to say that it wont happen in the future

[TastyFace 0]

Bravo good sir. This is probably one of the best articles

I have read on a forum in a very long time.

+1

[Arkaddy 4]

It’s over. Fuck that guy. He shouldn’t have pointed his gun at me.

Maybe he was just scared. Being scared in this place is an unforgivable mistake.

[Courier (DayZ) 10]

It's just another gray area, my friend.

[Ethan (DayZ) 0]

Courier your tales are amazing and I wish you the best in this crazy world.

[Courier (DayZ) 10]

I know how long I’ve been here but it doesn’t matter. The sixth day of a survivor is no different from my hundredth. We tell the same stories: war tales about cheating death, the lives we’ve taken and the bleak road to our future. We’ve all signed our own death certificates; the date has yet to be decided.

There’s no longer such thing as a “bandit”. The gray area has engulfed everything and the only true survivors are the naïve: the unarmed who roam the abandoned cities looking for answers. Reality waits in the overgrowth, between buildings and in the flickering lights of flares. They understand it when it’s too late.

I’m a murderer. Communication no longer exists; I’ve now done what would’ve happened to me. You have to be fast, you have to disregard thought. Out here, your heart is more valuable than your brain.

I’m drowned in my own regret. Banished to the forest, I refuse to meet other people. I can’t trust myself.

Finally: I’m truly alone. Just me and the trees… so close to Hell yet so far. I think it’s time for me to die. I did sign the death certificate on day one. Maybe now I can pen a date.

[zantiago 119]

The gloomy tale about you and you militia storming Stary sobor sounds familiar..

It migt have been us that you met there, if it was sniper fire comming from north of the hill, we were in the process of looting the military camp there, but it was dead empty, thats when my mate spotted someone in the streets, three people crouching up the streets.

that's when i dropped the one in the middle with my trusty M24..

Might not have been you however.

This was on one of the chicago servers i believe.

If it were you guys, then well.. Supplies were scarce, and we needed food and water badly.

Specially since the supermarket was cleaned out.

Sorry incase it was us!

[Courier (DayZ) 10]

Might've been. Did you guys all get killed? Or (gasp) disconnect?

If so, it could have been. No need to apologize either way - it wasn't me you shot or my problem.

[esaciar 1]

Great to see the community has so warmly accepted this!

[Arkaddy 4]

Sad. That forest it's getting farther away from the beach, and the man who once left a M1911 there.

[Courier (DayZ) 10]

The buildings and narrow streets look picturesque for life but I can’t imagine it anymore. I can no longer see the sun kissed Chernarus of the past – I can’t hear ocean waves without thinking of the fog, I can’t imagine the flowing blades of grass without seeing the bodies in the soil.

I’m never going back. None of us are.

It gets worse when I want it to get better. Trust is a mutual thing; no one will give back if I don’t give. I can already feel my hope running out, my mind weak and my feet tired from the endless treks in circles. The things I find that are new – they’re no good. My own survival is turning against me.

My equipment should be worn, spoiled with overuse. My DMR is no different from yours. They’re aesthetic clones; their fed the same ammunition and the ballistics are identical. But mine has a different history – I just don’t care about it anymore. My things I carry – my only company – serve one meaning: to kill. And that’s wearing thin.

There was a man once at the airfield. I had an AK-47 and I shot him with it: I shot him over and over until he crawled away broken, frantically letting me know he was friendly as he crawled away into the barracks and died. Back then, I hadn’t come to terms with the world I put myself in. The regret wore down my shoulders.

Now? I don’t care anymore.

I’ll soon grow reckless. It’s who I used to be; we can’t lose all of ourselves out here. It’s the destructive side of me that wants to come out. The side that wants to lose. I don’t want to die. I need to.

Is there anyone left out there?

[Coyote (DayZ) 0]

Don't die, Courier. Your stories are inspiring. Live on. Fight the world as you have. Continue to tell your stories. Maybe having a story to tell is the only reason to live. Is that enough of a reason to live? Nobody knows but you.

[kilo181 0]

I just finished reading this and I love seeing the transformation of your character as time and his experiences wears him down. Keep it going!

[Sinful (DayZ) 0]

Absolutely love your writing style man! I swear you could make this into a novel!

I also know exactly what you mean by that first post. Me and some friends were always trying to get close to other survivors so we could com them. But that ended up in being sniped down more often then not. So now we only com the ones close to us and either sneak past or kill the ones that are far away. I wouldn't say this is being a bandit. At range you don't know what the other guys intention is. And I would say it's better safe then sorry.

[zantiago 119]

@Courier

We didn't disconnect, and we lost 2guys..

The other's were simply not close enough to join in on the gunfight..

We had a guy lagging the second the gunfire started, so he got killed rather fast..

We don't disconnect in gunfights, id rather go down fighting a just/unjust cause, than disconnecting like a scared little girl.

[Courier (DayZ) 10]

It’s night.

I hear gunfire in the distance. Familiar sounds within city limits: each shot tears through whatever hope I had left. There’s nothing, now. Been this way for a while.

A chemlight is at my feet as I dig through my supplies. This has been a long time coming – I should’ve known it was going to come to this. I put my mind at ease when I realize I won’t have to wonder anymore, won’t have to think about it coming. Maybe I was wrong about it all along.

We can control our destiny. That’s my last hope.

I finish off a steak, drink. Discarding my backpack to the earth, I remove my DMR next. I think about the people I’ve shot with it. The history I’ve etched into it will go unknown and the next hands it falls into will continue to ink invisible pages no one can ever discover; another unsolved mystery left behind by a lost survivor.

It’s dropped next to my backpack. My .45 is next.

I look one last time at the equipment at my feet. Items I worked so hard to keep; tools of my survival. Murder weapons. Perhaps they’ll never be found.

I pick up the chemlight and walk on.

The beach is where it all began: that’s where I migrate next, carelessly gliding through the darkness just outside a dead city that is partially lit by flares, their colors reflecting off building walls and glimmering in the night. The shots I hear standing at the ocean are disconcerting as I move towards the city. Nothing I haven’t heard before.

I can’t see much of the beach at this hour but I give it one last look – the same way I did when I started here, wondering where to go. I’ve known for a while now: from here it’s Chernogorsk.

I light a flare and hold onto it as I travel into the city. The road is desolate; but I know I’m being watched. I can’t see in front of me: but I don’t need to. With that I’m gone – touring Chernogorsk one last final time writing the end of my story. Nothing is fair, I think, until you make it so.

Hopefully, all the good I’ve done – and the bad – was for the better. The thought of someone benefiting from my actions… the idea of achieving selflessness, at some stage… that’s the gift of this, I think. That makes this worth it.

When it finally comes to me, I hear it. No hourglass, no color: just darkness.

And like that, it’s over.

[Shanks (DayZ) 0]

this thread was steak sauce, A1 sir.

[KuntyBallistix (DayZ) 0]

When it finally comes to me' date=' I hear it. No hourglass, no color: just darkness.

And like that, it’s over.

[/quote']

flare run out?

[kbassil 2]

bump for awesomeness

[FredGavioes 0]

flare run out?

he died, got shot... wanted to die.... what a ending... need to make a video about it!

[Courier (DayZ) 10]

A lot of memories here. Still haven't played since: currently waiting for further development to spark my interest again.