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Bernd (DayZ)

Wanted: room mates for flat share in Cherno. Must be fabulous.

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Hi guys, it's Bernd again. I've ditched the oh-so last week country look and am back to rocking my casual threads and hipster scarf. I'm *so* over the countryside it's not true. If I see another haystack I am going to weep salt tears. Seriously. I was so desperate to escape the snoozefest of Northern Chernarus I actually went into a church the other day. And the shopping? Shocking. One store in the whole district and nothing but tin cans and a tacky old watch in the back. The service was literally non existent, too.

So it's time to head south and set up home with some open minded and fabulous friends. I'm fixing up an apartment in Chernarus-it's very basic and retro right now, but oozes potential. With the right social mix we could start a rooftop disco in time for the weekend. There's no competition and this town is crying out for nightlife.

The flat has great views of town, fantastic opportunities for clothing and just a short dash from the hospital. The area has seen better days but with people like us looking to move in every day this is one location that is up and coming. I'm willing to consider shared ownership if you're in the market to buy.

Me: male (ofc!), flamboyant, outgoing, loves disco and barbecues in the woods.

You: Fabulous, fun, non-judgemental-is someone who can DJ too much to ask?

Interested in lighting up the scene in Cherno? Drop me a line below and we'll talk rent.

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idk whether to laugh or be confused....

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Are dogs allowed? Also I may as well be up front about this, I am addicted to morphine, I mean, I just go through the stuff like it's the end of the world.

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Damn new age punks ! You kids so much as try and play any sort of dubstep and i will come up those stairs and plow an esp flying v so far up your ass you will have to pluck strungs in your throat so you can shit! I heard all about your little' bbq parties' in the woods..and let me say..i haven't shuddered and grimaced that wildly in a long time..not since i kicked the lower tenants out for duping mountain dew, fucking weirdos ! Dont make me come up there boy..i like my peace and quiet in these apartments and i got a rusty old axe that is damn near itching to be swung !

The landlord.

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This is excellent.

I'd join you, but I've got some nice stuff on me at the moment.

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Am I eligible even though I eat a lot of baked beans? And I do mean a LOT.

I never seem to create any washing up though.. surely a positive.

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I'm up for it but if you drink my dew I will shoot you in the leg and rape you and bandage you then rape you again in the south street seaport every day at mid day when the sun is highest in the sky.

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This sounds interesting to me. I've been dabbling in amateur pyrotechnics of late. I have a lot of flares, chem lights etc so just need someone to DJ and I think we will be sorted.

Are dogs allowed? Also I may as well be up front about this, I am addicted to morphine, I mean, I just go through the stuff like it's the end of the world.

I'll trade you for some painkillers :thumbsup:

Edited by Timboski

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Oh DAAAAAH'LING that sounds simply DIVINE. Where does one sign up for this cozy lil soiree of yours?

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Are dogs allowed? Also I may as well be up front about this, I am addicted to morphine, I mean, I just go through the stuff like it's the end of the world.

Oh we've all had the chemical phase. That's cool. I simply adore dogs, too. Chihuahua? Labradoodle? Tell me you haven't dyed it pink!

This sounds interesting to me. I've been dabbling in amateur pyrotechnics of late. I have a lot of flares, chem lights etc so just need someone to DJ and I think we will be sorted.

Do you have a disco ball by any chance? I do like your lightsticks idea. Let's *rock* that candy raver look!

Oh DAAAAAH'LING that sounds simply DIVINE. Where does one sign up for this cozy lil soiree of yours?

It looks like we already have a party pooper - I'm looking at, YOU, Mr. Landlord - so we may have to keep times and locations on the down-low. I'm thinking opening night, a week Wednesday. Can we start talking names? I think 'The Midweek Mental' might have the right ring. Dogs, chickens - all are welcome. Personally speaking the wilder the life the better! Server name will go up in this thread. You won't be able to miss this - we will be the talk of the town!

PS If anyone wants to go shopping with me later I could use a weekend wardrobe and some of those delightful little logpiles to create an artisan look to the pad.

Edited by Bernd
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pm me when and where and ill be down also have 2 or 3 others that would like to sneak a peak at this apartment ur talking about. we've been looking for a ncie dance dance partay! HOLLA

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pm me when and where and ill be down also have 2 or 3 others that would like to sneak a peak at this apartment ur talking about. we've been looking for a ncie dance dance partay! HOLLA

We are going to be rocking original disco mixed with dance floor classics on Wednesday the 29th on a server TBA. Dress code is relaxed. Bring a chemlight to wave and prepare to show me your booty stagger! Light snacks and exquisite interior design are complimentary.

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Brother Flunky reporting in !

Totally down for this, have been spending time up in the awfully drab mountains.

I say we meet up and enter cherno in one big fabulous parade and let cherno know we are moving in!!

Lets meet up at the west intersexual... urgh i mean homosection..... oh for crying out loud.... intersection.......

Flunky

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Bernd, I am living in the direct neighbourhood - and your parties are too loud! And now you want to have roommates? I think I have to move out of Cherno. Those wild youngsters and their constant partying. It is disgusting! I am living since 76 years there, but you loud youngsters are more disturbing than my zombie neighbour. Damn it! I think I have to come over and whip you with my walking stick. And another point! Last time you were partying one of your guests left a dead Zed in my garden. I hope someone comes to pick it up!

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Well i can Dj, and could do with a change of scenery, Berezhino just gets so plain and boring these days, Hardly anyone passes by to say hello.

i find myself most times on the roof with a lovely BBQ, some top quality fresh meat stakes, a 6 pack of the mountain dew, blasting out some electro dubstep to myself :(

I will admit the locals are not exactly the party types, they kinda smell a bit and have this really annoying urge to bite you despite offering them as much fresh steak as they would like... hmmmm it is lonely up North.

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I'm a proffessional vintage bean cook. Also I'm a DJ. I'm into sneaking, hatchery and ABBA. Also, if I have to pay rent, I'll kill you.

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Lets meet up at the west intersexual... urgh i mean homosection..... oh for crying out loud.... intersection.......

Flunky

Hey Flunky, I just knew you'd be aching to be makin' the scene. If you want to help set up after that 'meeting' then I could use a hand...

Bernd, I am living in the direct neighbourhood - and your parties are too loud! And now you want to have roommates? I think I have to move out of Cherno. Those wild youngsters and their constant partying. It is disgusting! I am living since 76 years there, but you loud youngsters are more disturbing than my zombie neighbour. Damn it! I think I have to come over and whip you with my walking stick. And another point! Last time you were partying one of your guests left a dead Zed in my garden. I hope someone comes to pick it up!

Hey granddaddy grumbles! You bring that whippin' stick and the boys will be queuing round the block. In fact, you could be our new attraction. Don't move out, move up- into disco heaven.

I'm a proffessional vintage bean cook. Also I'm a DJ. I'm into sneaking, hatchery and ABBA. Also, if I have to pay rent, I'll kill you.

What kind of brute thinks of money when moving to 'Dancing Queen?' You, your beans and your impeccable taste in music are welcome.

Well i can Dj, and could do with a change of scenery, Berezhino just gets so plain and boring these days, Hardly anyone passes by to say hello.

i find myself most times on the roof with a lovely BBQ, some top quality fresh meat stakes, a 6 pack of the mountain dew, blasting out some electro dubstep to myself :(

I will admit the locals are not exactly the party types, they kinda smell a bit and have this really annoying urge to bite you despite offering them as much fresh steak as they would like... hmmmm it is lonely up North.

Well hello there lonely pony! Why not canter on down to disco town and say goodbye to those Berezhino blues? Bring your Madonna records and prepare to shake that tail all night long!

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Well hello there lonely pony! Why not canter on down to disco town and say goodbye to those Berezhino blues? Bring your Madonna records and prepare to shake that tail all night long!

I shall i shall, i couldn't think of a nicer place to hold the "Grand Galloping Gala" than a Cherno rooftop.... finally civilization!! and soo many fabulous things!

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Hysterical post the the op, until I started seeing my little pony everywhere

Edited by Faceman Peck
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Hysterical post the the op, until I started seeing my little pony everywhere

Friendship is Magical. Come now.

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Hey granddaddy grumbles! You bring that whippin' stick and the boys will be queuing round the block. In fact, you could be our new attraction. Don't move out, move up- into disco heaven.

Ohhh, you loud young kids! Do not make fun of me! I was living here before the Zeds came, and before you bunch of partypeople with that loud DJ-noise machines. Maybe I stay here, but if you make noise after 10 pm I have to come up and take your gramophone record away! So beware of Granddaddy Grumpy. I also have a large hatchet, not only my walking stick. But I think for you young gangsters my walking stick is enough.

/waves his walking stick to the bunch of young people

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