Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
iceman28001

If you are like thousands of other DayZ players,

Recommended Posts

Do we have a product for you!

Tired of spending hours collecting gear, only to get shot in the back by makarov carrying loony bin? Tired of getting sniped on your evening stroll through Cherno or Electro? Angry about not being able to get off the beach?

Do these enduce symptoms that lead to anger, crying, perhaps even an aching sore butt!

Well us at Excelle (for our amazing excellence, you know the name! EXCELLE!) RX Incorporated.

Have developed a medication for these terrible symptoms.

From the makers of items such as the

Kliinex,

Weight Gain 4000,

and in conjunction with Prescott Pharmaceuticals,

Prescott Pharmaceuticals Heal Thyself Home Surgery Kit™

Vaxator, better than Liptor

Vaxasom, mimics rufies, sleep science medication at its best

Vaxamax, memory assistant, pixie stick that tastes like meat

Vaxamamm male breast reduction cream

Vaxachub - the only virility aid made entirely from powdered mice.

If you cannot afford gene therapy, try Vaxascab.

Vaxa-Smacks healty cereal line:

Fiber Johns

Cholestrol Free Corn Shavings

Vaxa-Dream tooth paste.

One of our latest!

Vaxadrine for Hair Loss, Dieting, and Vaxadrine + (with calcium) for skull health!

MAY WE HAVE THE HONOR OF PRESENTING, OUR LATEST MEDICAL MARVAL

MAGIC BUTT CREAM

After each rage quit, all you do is apply libberally to your anal and buttox region. Relieving butt-hurt in a flash!

Try Magic Butt Cream Today!

Order Now!

http://tinyurl.com/9tbmjtz

Customer Testimonials:


  • My wife made me choose between her and Magic Butt Cream : I chose Magic Butt Cream, it's faster and cheaper!

    - Clement, Rhone Alpe France


Whatever you need at that Superspeed!

I don´t get no blues I got Magic Butt Cream!

- Jorgen, Skane Sweden

"Magic Butt Cream shreds through butt ache like a lion through a gazelle on the African safari.

- Brent, Canada


  • Very simple. I am lazy (My mom and employer can confirm this) and Magic Butt Cream allows me to maintain this lifestyle. No effort, thinking or skillsets required after you buy. IT JUST WORKS...

    - Edward, Ontario Canada


Side effects may include:

nausea,

vomiting,

water weight gain,

lower back pain,

receding hairline,

eczema,

seporiasoriasis,

itching,

chafing clothing,

liver spots,

blood clots,

ringworm,

excessive body odor,

uneven tire wear,

pyorrhea,

gonorrhea,

diarrhea,

halitosis,

scoliosis,

loss of bladder control,

hammertoe,

the shanks,

low sperm count,

warped floors,

cluttered drawers,

hunchback,

heart attack,

low resale value on your home

feline leukemia,

athlete's foot,

head lice,

clubfoot,

MS,

MD,

VD,

fleas,

anxiety,

sleeplessness,

drowsiness,

poor gas mileage,

tooth decay,

parvo,

warts,

unibrow,

lazy eye,

chest pains,

clogged drains,

hemorrhoids,

dry heaving

sexual dysfunction.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You'd think fans of the Colbert Report would know how to come up with an amusing troll. Doesn't seem to be the case.

Edited by sp86
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What the hell did I just read? No. Dudes. seriously? What did u smoke? o.o

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×