An Actually Fun Hacker Story

[DEOVONTAY MCSLANGA 149]

So the other day our camp was raided by some turds. They stole all our weapons, which we could give two shits less about because we were already holding the ones we actually like. Things weren't looking too bad... until we discovered they had stolen our bikes. Three bikes. Now that's just low man.

High on bloodlust we decided to go down to the coast and snipe anything that moved. Yep, we like to take out our hate on newspawns and people who drive cars along the coast. Bite me. Me and one friend were wielding AS50s, the other friend had an L85. We're chillin' for a while, see a couple of kids with no guns but let them run along because we're not COMPLETE barbarians. We're sitting in a little clump under the same tree, when we hear a flare land behind us. Needless to say, this scared the crap out of us so we just booked it for the woods.

We ran for about 5 minutes and settled down, spread out about 20 meters each. I'm feeling relieved that we didn't get sniped or anything, when AS50-friend comes on over skype, "guys I still hear footsteps, like not mine". We're scouring the forest, not seeing a thing, when another flare lands by our feet.

And then we knew. It was an invisible hackerman.

Now, our group has this thing where if we lose track of each other upon finding the group we call out "safety dance!" and we all start bobbing back and forth to confirm it's actually us. It can be hard to tell the difference between three dudes in ghillies, so this serves us very well. Well, it turns out L85-friend could totally see the hacker on thermal, but didn't want to shoot one of us on accident...

So I shout "DO THE MOTHER FUCKING SAFETY DANCE" over voip, just to let the hacker know his games were not appreciated here. We all start dancing, and L85-friend just blows the hacker away.

Justice has been served.

[LaurenDanger 100]

We can dance if we want toooo....

Normally when you vapourize a hacker, the server gets nuked in retribution. I am glad that didn't happen and that you were able to shred the guy.

Also, thank you for leaving alone the unarmed spawns. It is appreciated. :)

[DEOVONTAY MCSLANGA 149]

Oh we fucking scared-disconnected the second he was down. We weren't sticking around for that shit.

And we did kill one unarmed kid who ran right up to us. We asked if we wanted to go on adventures and he said no, then proceed to check our bags for a backup weapon that he could steal and shoot us with. He kind of had it coming.

[Roofus 8]

you killed a hacker that could have killed you 30 times over... congratz, you accomplished shit all..

[XMorTus 15]

I LOL'd

[XMorTus 15]

you killed a hacker that could have killed you 30 times over... congratz, you accomplished shit all..

why do people like you exist.

[Roofus 8]

Because i don't respect people who snipe new spawns because they are butthurt over losing their camp.

[sp86 508]

why do people like you exist.

Inbreeding.

[gg88 1]

Because i don't respect people who snipe new spawns because they are butthurt over losing their camp.

Sounds to me like you're butthurt over losing a fresh body. Part of the game.

[DEOVONTAY MCSLANGA 149]

Shortly after this too, we went to another server. Immediately a kid starts talking to us from a bush behind us. We figure he's a hacker, AS50-friend pumps two rounds into him to make sure. We immediately disconnected, but he clipped AS50-friend with a shot from his own AS50 just as we got out. Logged in on yet another server, me and L85-friend first to see if we can rescue AS50-friend. When he logs in he has 200 blood and is bleeding, but luckily we were sitting right on top of him and saved him. He also had, and I kid you not, an hour and a half long unconscious timer. But he pulled through.

Was some House M.D. shit going on right there.

[DEOVONTAY MCSLANGA 149]

you killed a hacker that could have killed you 30 times over... congratz, you accomplished shit all..

Mad that he doesn't have a fun story about anything, because he has a sad pathetic life with no friends.

[DEOVONTAY MCSLANGA 149]

Because i don't respect people who snipe new spawns because they are butthurt over losing their camp.

We were only shooting kids who had guns. Technically, we had no way of knowing if they were new spawns or kids who had aks and had been camping unarmed kids in Cherno for days. If you have a gun, you're fair game because if you got the chance you'd just shoot me and take my things anyway.

[DEOVONTAY MCSLANGA 149]

We can dance if we want toooo....

Normally when you vapourize a hacker, the server gets nuked in retribution. I am glad that didn't happen and that you were able to shred the guy.

Also, thank you for leaving alone the unarmed spawns. It is appreciated. :)

Just realized this is kind of ironic because I know you give kids on the shore guns. You totally could have been arming them with empty guns and dooming them to get sniped by us.

[red_orchestra@msn.com 112]

We figure he's a hacker, AS50-friend pumps two rounds into him to make sure. We immediately disconnected, but he clipped AS50-friend with a shot from his own AS50 just as we got out.

Great use of the good ol' 'disconnect to avoid being shot', my friend. You are credit to day z community.

[DEOVONTAY MCSLANGA 149]

Great use of the good ol' 'disconnect to avoid being shot', my friend. You are credit to day z community.

Jesus, the title of this post must have attracted all the fucking assholes day huh?

When you log in in the middle of a forest hidden under a tree and are immediately being talked to over voip by a 12 year old, your gut reaction should be 'hacker'. When he takes two AS50 rounds to the chest and doesn't flinch and responds with "That wasn't very nice" and gunshots, you have a right to fucking alt-f4.

Do you honestly think it's not okay to disconnect to avoid being killed by a hacker? I'm not going to let some dipshit little kid with his mommy's credit card ruin my 20-something day old character. Congratulations on being the pathetic soul who has to point out something negative in everything other people do just to try to make your epeen look a few inches bigger.

YOU are a credit to the fucking DayZ community kid.

[Professional N00b 347]

Great use of the good ol' 'disconnect to avoid being shot', my friend. You are credit to day z community.

If it was indeed a hacker then I certainly wouldn't blame them for d/c'ing.

Granted they had no evidence that these people were hackers versus people who had just snuck up/camped out behind them. But given the "heat of the moment" decision and their previous encounter, I probably would have thought the same thing too.

[Roofus 8]

on a side note, doesn't an AS50 kill in 1 shot every time? not trying to pick a fight this time, just curious

[sp86 508]

YOU are a credit to the fucking DayZ community kid.

Depending which Brandon Deboer you are you two are about the same age.

My money is on this cat:

[DEOVONTAY MCSLANGA 149]

If it was indeed a hacker then I certainly wouldn't blame them for d/c'ing.

Granted they had no evidence that these people were hackers versus people who had just snuck up/camped out behind them. But given the "heat of the moment" decision and their previous encounter, I probably would have thought the same thing too.

We logged in and IMMEDIATELY were accosted by the kid, so he didn't track us or camp out or anything. It was a random spot in the middle of the woods, not a place you would ever decide to sit and wait for someone to spawn in in front of you.

We also shot him point blank twice with an AS50 and he didn't go down. If that's not a hacker I don't know what is.

[DEOVONTAY MCSLANGA 149]

on a side note, doesn't an AS50 kill in 1 shot every time? not trying to pick a fight this time, just curious

They nerfed it so that lower body shots do about 11k and almost always knock you out. Past 500m it drops to like 10k. Doesn't seem like a big difference, but it can be enough to save your life sometimes.

[Roofus 8]

alright, makes sense

[red_orchestra@msn.com 112]

Oh look we got another badass over here.

When you log in in the middle of a forest hidden under a tree and are immediately being talked to over voip by a 12 year old, your gut reaction should be 'hacker'. When he takes two AS50 rounds to the chest and doesn't flinch and responds with "That wasn't very nice" and gunshots, you have a right to fucking alt-f4.

So you're changing story from "a kid starts talking to us from a bush behind us. We figure he's a hacker, AS50-friend pumps two rounds into him to make sure. We immediately disconnected." to "When he takes two AS50 rounds to the chest and doesn't flinch"

Although you first say he's behind a bush and you d/c immediately after shooting, suddenly things have changed and now you've confirmed both hits regardless of his cover and your instant d/c.

Do you honestly think it's not okay to disconnect to avoid being killed by a hacker? I'm not going to let some dipshit little kid with his mommy's credit card ruin my 20-something day old character. Congratulations on being the pathetic soul who has to point out something negative in everything other people do just to try to make your epeen look a few inches bigger.

^ Strawman argument.

YOU are a credit to the fucking DayZ community kid.

I hope you don't seriously think that constantly swearing and throwing insults shows maturity, because it doesn't.

Edited August 10, 2012 by That Cat

[nev2k 16]

Well, the fact that this first "hacker" kid wasn't unkillable, shows that most of the "hackers" aren't in hacking nor in the arma scripting.

I think evrybody who knows a way how to get an unfair advantage should report it to the dev, battleeye, bohemia or any other party, which tries to resduce hacking.

posting it in forums, so that evrybody can copy and use it isn't good, neither for them nor the gameplay.

[sp86 508]

^ Strawman argument.

You stated that he was wrong to disconnect, implying that it is wrong to disconnect in the face of a suspected hacker.

He contested this.

He posited a hypothesis, but at no point does he equate this with your argument, even if he had given the lack of support for your argument inherent in your post it would not have diminished it. I'm gonna call this one not a strawman; unless of course you can provide a compelling verbal argument proving he misrepresented you.

Edited August 10, 2012 by sp86

[DEOVONTAY MCSLANGA 149]

Oh look we got another badass over here.

Hypocrisy suits you so nicely.

The story didn't change, we logged in. Immediately a child talks to us. We shoot him twice. It's pretty easy to tell when someone doesn't die after you shoot them twice with an AS50. It took maybe a full second? Go ahead and take an AS50 and shoot your friend and tell me how long it takes you to process whether or not he died.

And it's not a strawman argument so much as a legitimate question, followed by an accurate assessment of the only reason you would make such a post. Either you truly think that it's not okay to alt-f4 in the face of a hacker and that everyone should just take those unfair deaths, or you just want to belittle someone on the internet to make yourself feel better. The former is incredibly unlikely unless you really are some deluded type-A personality who takes DayZ far too seriously, so I banked the latter. Hence the accurate assessment of your intentions.