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Kornwallis

Your biggest failures

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Hey guys! I just failed pretty hard, so I wanted to know about your displeasing adventures through Chernarus! Here's my worst so far:

So, yesterday I was playing on a Russian server and I entered the power plant outside of Elektro. I found no zombies, but I found about 8 dead players. I went from having the stuff you spawn with to having a Winchester, a 1911, binoculars, knife, entrenching tool, toolbox, Alice pack, etc.

Fast forward another 2 hours. I'm in the middle of nowhere following some power lines to civilization. I find an HUGE rusted warehouse, and climb to the walkways. I'm on the edge of a rather large town. I use my binoculars and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I see in the distance a crashed helicopter!!! I freak out and quickly get down. There's zombies everywhere, so I sneak in. Not taking enough time to realize it was on the OTHER SIDE of town, I walk straight into the middle. A zombie sneaks up on me, I fire a shot. Suddenly, I've got 20 zombies on me. I haul ass out of town back to the warehouse and climb the ladder again. Slowly, one by one, I pick off the now walking zombies. By the end, I had killed about 40. Now I figured out the heli was on the other side of town, so I get out of the warehouse and sneak around the town, getting to the heli unscathed. Once there, I noticed 3 fatal flaws in my plan:

-I was out in the open

-There were about 20 zombies roaming very close to the heli

-How the hell to you loot the helicopter?!

Quickly, I Alt Tab out while prone and look on Google. I don't find my answer after 30 seconds so I decide to go back in-game, flee to the treeline and then tab out again. Once I get back in, it randomly fires my weapon, attracting all of the wandering zombies. I decide it's not worth it and get out of there. I shoot a couple, but after killing the last 40, I've only got 5 Winchester rounds about 7 1911 rounds. In my panic, I manage to kill only 5 of them, wasting all my ammo. I keep running, and suddenly, I see a barn. Perfect! There might be some ammo in there! I get in and find another Winchester with no ammo on one side of the barn, but I see two groups of Winchester pellets on the other side. I'm about to make it, when I sneeze, jerk left and jump off the platform, breaking both my legs and incapacitating me. I died, rage quit, and now I'm here.

tl;dr I find crashed heli, accidentally shoot, get chased by horde, die.


Just as a side note, how the heck do you loot the crashed helicopters anyways?

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Once I saw another player.

I said hello to him and asked if he was friendly.

Then he shot me for my fresh beans.

TL : DR bandits love fresh beans

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Walked off a factory. Was holding the W key, realized the edge was a meter from me... Didn't let go of the W key. Fell off and died.

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I spawned some days ago.

Turned around to see for landmarks on the see (like the lighttower and such) to know where i am. The moment i turned around i looked into 2 shotguns and a Winchester all Bandits.

I hear 3 clicks and my body hits the floor....

Bandits love Beans....

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I thought I was smart leaving myself on the top of a building so I'd have a good vantage point next time I logged in.

Logged in the next night in pitch black, looked around for a few seconds and saw a flare in the distance took one step towards it and fell to my death.

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I thought I was smart leaving myself on the top of a building so I'd have a good vantage point next time I logged in.

Logged in the next night in pitch black' date=' looked around for a few seconds and saw a flare in the distance took one step towards it and fell to my death.

[/quote']

Ah, the old "space mountain".

I've been doing better than a grandma in a Werthers shop recently, but right when I started out I was all "oh how scary, so many zombies in one little village" and promptly proceeded to begin to swim around the village. I kind of lost track of where I was going out in the water. Swimming is incredibly slow, so I weighted my "w" key and walked off to get lunch. Then a friend texted and said he had the day off work and did I want to hang out. I thought that would be just dandy, so I then went out and saw an afternoon session of "Headhunter" (Danish film, Quite good actually - probably an 8/10). Anyway, when I got home I found that I had swum so far in one direction all sight of land was lost and all I had for company was Wilson and a SAW that I had looted off a bandit (this is back when there were only one or two servers and military hardware was pretty frequent).

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My friend and I were about to depart from Stary Sobor after looting the military tents when we spotted two survivors crawling a couple hundred meters behind us. We had no means of determining if they were friendly, so my friend opened fire with his AK-74 kobra and downed one. After scanning the area we agreed the other guy had probably disconnected. I proceeded to loot the dead survivor's corpse and we would have finally left the camp but...

We disagreed about whether we should head northwest or northeast, and got separated for a minute.

During this period, the remaining survivor relogged on top of the hill overlooking the camp and immediately mowed down my friend. Fearing his high ground advantage, I hid behind a tree and struggled to get vision on him. I knew I would lose the engagement if I tried climbing the hill. In the interest of surviving and avenging my friend, I lobbed a frag grenade.

Despite my reticle being well to the side of the tree, the grenade collided with it and landed perfectly at my feet. I had no time to run as it obliterated me. That damn survivor must have been laughing his ass off...

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Fell off of a ladder, lost my NVG's but I managed to get back in time to reclaim them. It was still horrifying.

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I was walking arround and then i suddenly saw a red car in the middle of the field! I decided to go see whats broken soo maybe i could fix it or something.. I get inside and realise nothing was broken! But there was no fuel so i needed to get in town to find some. Soo eventually, i get in town, get some gaz and get back to the car. Fuel it up and there we go , it was working perfectly... Soo i was running arround with the car not really knowing where i was going then BOOM ive hit a freakin wall... It just appeared in the middle of the road and i didnt had the time to react and i just smashed in it.. Broke both rear wheels and the car was stuck in the wall :( it couldnt move at all soo i just lost a perfectly working car because some random crap appears in the middle of the road xD

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I backed into a building and waited for the bandit that was tailing me to come in after me.

He logged, unbeknownst to me, and logged back in behind me, shot me with one Makarov shot.

When I respawned, a bandit was on the shoreline shooting people with Enfields.

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