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morimasa

Hatchet V.S. AS50/M107 - US 592

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This is a funny encounter today in which involves huge embarrassment on both parties.

I set up my tent which I looted from the 1st meaningful bandit kill yesterday. [Yesterday's story: http://dayzmod.com/f...-quit-the-game/ ]

Since I have no intention of using that spot anymore I might as well just show it on the map.

http://s12.postimage...3itassr/loc.png

Long ass post so don't read if you have something more important to do other than crawling DayZ forums. (ouch!)

Once the tent was set up I decided to go east to maybe hit up the airfield when I found the heli crash (shown on the map in purple)

I didn't expect finding anything good since I've found these sites many times before and every time I return empty handed with emptied mags. They truly were a waste of time and ammo.

But this time it's different; I've actually found 4 rare guns: 2 FN FAL, M14 AIM, and BizonSD. This would have been the highlight of my loot history except there's no ammo at all. I've got trolled by the random loot generator yet again. But since this site wasn't exactly far away from my camp, I decided to transport all the empty guns back to the tents. You'd never know when you'll run into some rare ammo. On my 3rd trip transporting the FN FAL, something caught my attention, there was a dude at my tent.

I thought it must be my buddy so I asked on ts if that was him and how the hell did he run so fast from the coast and somehow acquiring that sexy looking sniper rifle; in which he replies "uh... maybe you should shoot that guy cuz I'm still chilling in Cherno trololo" "Well why the fuck are you jerking off in Cher- wait WHAATTT!?" I dropped down into the grass right beside a pine tree, pressing G in a frenzy to open the gear menu and had my heart broken when I realized I only have an all-purpose hatchet in my gear that could do damage. Half accepting my faith, I pulled out the hatchet, reloaded like a retard, and waited for him to move. I swear it was because of the reloading of hatchet that blew my position - or maybe he was just super aware of his surroundings. He paused, looked in my direction, and took out his sniper rifle. I jumped up, start zig-zaging in between trees and somehow dodged all the bullets he shot at me. I had to admit I was certainly lucky at bullet dodging and had the advantage of surprise - you don't see people running at you with a hatchet nowadays, it's a dying art even for us Canadian lumberjacks. It's probably also hard to hit someone with a long range sniper at close distance, even though I'm not exactly sure of Arma II's gun mechanics. But you all should give some credit to this guy's shooting, I mean he was like fucking Cobra against G.I. Joe shooting!

Soon he realized that he's probably gonna end up getting hatchet in the face if he doesn't gain some distance fast. And so the chase begins. While I'm running behind him I just constantly have this Benny Hill music playing in my head simply because it was that dumb of a scene. First of all, he refuses to stop and shoot me. Probably afraid that I might catch up. I was actually running slower than him somehow - I don't know why and don't think it'd mattered since you really had to stop to attack with a hatchet. Secondly, our exchange of direct communication was so immature with me constantly telling him to slow down, stop running, and just give up (it's all bluff, I was running out of ideas) and him just telling me to "fuck off". I didn't know why he's getting all worked-up with the situation even though I told him I thought it was actually pretty funny and quite enjoyable. Lastly, after about a minute into the chase we started to make a deal, he offered me his gun in his backpack (I'm assuming the sniper rifle?) if I just stop chasing him. I thought it was pretty obvious that he was just gonna shoot me if I do stop but being adventurous in nature I decide to go with his plan and told him not to shoot me if I stand still. Then I stopped. He stopped, turned around and looks me straight in the eyes and proceeds to pulling out his pistol M1911. He fires, misses, and ran out of ammo. Obviously I started to zig-zag like a zombie again catching up, deadly hatchet in my hand... I laughed out loud while talking to my buddy on ts3 about how naive of me to stop and how bad he's shooting was. At one point I thought I had him. The plan was he would eventually stop and log - which I would at least land a hit on him to prove a point, or he would lag and I catch up and kill him grabbing all the loots and pose a victory stance over his dead corpse. Ok' maybe the 2nd scenario was a long shot but I had my hopes up anyways.

So on goes with the running and debating in direct communication, oh did we bitch at each other! It was quite philosophical as we discuss the human fundamental behaviour of trust, even though it was more in the lines of "yo wtf did you shoot at me huh brah? Im gonna fuck you up you pos!" "Why did you start running!? FUUUUUU!1!!!11@($*)&%@(#*$" The 2nd offer he made to give his gun to me came quite soon after the 1st one which didn't end well and cracked our already broken relationship. This time I thought he might finally be given up because I was about to give up chasing this tool. So I stopped, did the little swag shake left right on the spot and watched him slowly pulling out his sniper and again fucking aimed at me. Rinse and repeat goes the chase. Unfortunately, all good times must come to an end. Just when we crossed the road leading to Pobeda Dam up north he's friend came to rescue him. Unlike Mr. Catch me if you can, his buddy could shoot quite nicely. He took a great shot right at my chest, chopping 5k off my hp, another shot for breaking my legs and lastly a shot to conclude my life. While I watched the score screen shows up and the stupid you are dead (no shit) screen I thought I should have let him go, I've got played big time and out gunned even though really I should have just not be a dumbass and carried a sidearm.

As I yelled unappreciated over ts at my buddy who was trying his hardest making his way up north to help me (he also only had a hatchet lol). I clicked respawn. BAM! Well I'll be damned. A glitch resurrects me from the death and there I was sitting at 6k hp at the exact spot where I died with all my equipment with me i.e. one hatchet. It was a miracle, DayZ must have awarded those men with balls bigger than his brain. After I have my bleeding stopped. I went straight back to our camp, not even thinking of how the hack am I supposed to do with just this hatchet again? Luckily, they were in a state of relief and were simply looting our tent and moving stuff with their ATV and hot damn it’s a bus. These fuckers have a bus, man the only vehicle I've ever seen in the game was a pink tractor. So I waited for this one guy to ride off with his ATV all carefree and happy onto his daily looting business once again. I jumped into the bus - are the wheels good? YES! Engine good? YES! So what the hell was I waiting for? Fuck all. I floored the bus. (It only went 15k on grass) After I got the bus in a safe place, I checked the loot - there was a M249 with 2 box of 200 ammo, some NATO rounds, 2 blood pack, G17 and mags, maps and crap, NICE. It felt like trading gifts in Christmas, no it really did - because I always feel bad when I get something awesome in Christmas when I flipped through my house to find some unwanted junk to give out. And did I feel bad trading my common AKM rifle 4 rare rifle *no ammo included in fine print* with the sweet machine gun!

So, so long, and thanks for all the loot.

TL;DR So long, and thanks for all the loot.

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that was actually pretty damn entertaining. I definitely like your sense of humor.

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Haha Got to love a bus/vehicle steal - well done and thanks for the story :D

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