Absolute Epic Heist FAIL!!!

[MediEval 7]

DISCLAIMER: Long, but a very amusing story. ENJOY!!!

So, tonite was quite comical for my group of friends (amateur bandits if you will) and I, so I thought I would share with everyone the tale of our adventure.

It started with a run to the NE Airfield. We took one of our newer players there to run him through what we of course thought would be an easy loot grab for him to get his feet wet and get more acquainted on how to move about the world of DayZ. We had our two man squad on overwatch, and sent him in with one other guy to run through the airfield.

As they got to the tower, there were three zed's up top, so they had no choice but to fire and draw aggro from about 5 others. They managed no problem to take them out, but after clearing the tower, the new guy went outside and managed to aggro a couple more. As he tried to run back into the tower, he somehow got stuck in the doorway, and was knocked out in one hit, breaking his legs in the process. We heard a single gunshot ring out, followed by a his death message.

Over TS, we all start to ask what happened, him of course not knowing, saying he had over 11000 blood at the time of his death. As he was stuck in the doorway, we chalked it up to a glitch. We managed to grab his stuff (after another member of our group somehow got lost, even though he had spawned in less than a 100yds away from the airfield...derp), and headed back to camp to unload, and head down to pick up or guy who respawned.

So after the airfield fail, and our friend getting lost (and our sniper letting his ADD get the best of him as after our friend died, as he decided he was going to leave his post and run down to the airfield to get the M4A1 CCO that was dropped), I had mentioned how we were the absolute most dysfunctional group of bandits in the world of DayZ. If only I had known how true that statement would become.

So we headed back to our camp, and geared up to head out and pick up our friend down south. One of us hopped on a bike, and quickly ran over my personal tent, destroying my back-up shotgun, ammo & ALICE pack in the process.

After getting another good laugh, we left camp, and headed south. As we came to the crest of a hill, we ran right up on another camp. Two ATV's, a motorcycle, and a few tents. We took up positions and checked the inventory. Nothing in the tents, but the ATV's & motorcycle were completely loaded up. One ATV needed it's engine fixed, so we grabbed the other ATV & motorcycle. As we peeled off out of their camp, we cackled with joy at our find...and promptly dove headfirst into the biggest fail of our evening.

Not more than 25 yards away from their camp, the motorcycle clipped the back of my ATV (the driver of the motorcycle swears up and down he was ahead of me, and that I clipped him) and we both exploded into a ball of flame (let's just say this happened because of lag, and not bad driving :s )

3 of us passed out, and one somehow was miraculously still standing. The other two were knocked out, but not too badly hurt. As for me, I had a broken bones, was out cold, and was bleeding profusely. Our friend who was still walking was bleeding, but thought of his friends first, and hit me with an epi-pen, and I was able to bandage myself with 900 health remaining. But alas, not more than 2 seconds after he saved me, he himself, fell over, dead from a loss of blood.

The other two managed to survive, and the three of us healed up, hung our heads in shame, and trudged our way back to camp, laughing our asses off at the catastrophe we just walked away from.

I truly hope whoever's camp we just tried to raid reads this. You probably got back to your camp and wondered why the smoking wreckage of your motorcycle and ATV was only 25 yards away. They sit there, because of this absolute epic heist fail!!!

[TheTigger 34]

Mr ADD Sniper here...

I must say that I was not knocked unconsious with the first fireball. I had 900 blood after I bandaged my self, I ran over to Medieval who appeared to bleeding out from where the sun does not shine. I gave him an epi pen, and as soon as I did that the ATV exploded again and I happened to die this time. I had -4 blood, only if I would have ate my can of sardines I would still be alive.

[m1lkm8n 61]

Rofl my ass off

[axZiPPiE 0]

Man I should have been there!

I need a new video card soo bad

[bayers 28]

Lessons learned, eh

[Fiskbatch 6]

Hahaha

[Blt 1]

Can't learn from mistakes if you don't make them in the first place, remember that.

Other than that, funny story, hope you learn from it!

[TheTigger 34]

I learned my lesson, never ride with milkman!

[Hippy 3]

This is what Dayz is about, having a laugh and doing stupid shit. Glad to see you're not taking it too seriously (hate it when people get pissed at you for just having a little fun)

[m1lkm8n 61]

Haha. It wasn't me I swear. Massive server lag. U can trust me I swear especially when choppers are back.