An Open Letter to Zombie Trainers

[z310 9]

Hello.

I've noticed that many of you have taken it upon yourselves to keep the zombie population fit and lean.

You've begun training courses for them, where you alert anywhere from two to two dozen zeds and have them chase you through towns and cities.

Your intentions of eradicating zombie obesity are noble.

I did my best to defend unarmed zombie trainers, even letting them live after bringing a load of zombies near me. I found their dedication to zombie fitness somewhat annoying and troublesome, but I tolerated it and allowed them to live.

However I'm afraid that I can no longer have this policy.

You see - zombies are dangerous. They're not really attending your fitness class. That's just what they want you to think.

What they're actually trying to do is kill you. And everyone else. Keeping them physically fit is counterproductive to your and my survival!

I found myself in a situation where I was crawling with broken legs, literally 5 feet away from a hospital full of precious morphine, when one of your ilk brought 10 zombies to me. I was unable to flee due to my broken legs, and though I valiantly slew 4 of the beasts, I fell to their overwhelming numbers as my gunshots attracted more.

This didn't have to happen.

From this point forward, if you come near me with your zombie fitness squad, I will kill you. I no longer support your quest to keep zombies fit, and will demonstrate my stance on the issue by placing a bullet into your skull at high velocity.

So there you go. You've been warned. Carry on your zombie training if you must, but do it far away from me if you wish to live.

[Oliva 2]

the best part of a zombie train is when you find another survivor sneaking around...

[Powermolch 3]

Zombie fitness squad..lol :D

I still prefer sneaking around.

[Cappy (DayZ) 6]

i prefer the term 'zombie whisperer' . Training them to follow you is just the first part, the hope is, in time, we can get them to do our bidding screaming 'kill my pretties, KILL!!!'

[Techercizer 82]

i prefer the term 'zombie whisperer' . Training them to follow you is just the first part' date=' the hope is, in time, we can get them to do our bidding screaming 'kill my pretties, KILL!!!'

[/quote']

eyup

[z310 9]

the best part of a zombie train is when you find another survivor sneaking around...

Sir or Madam I'm afraid if you continue this reckless behavior I will be forced to apply bullets to you until your body ceases to function... if or when I see you.

Please reconsider your actions.