My Learning Experiences (funny)

[jdtherocker 37]

What I have learnt in dayz (in a funny way was)

1. when asked if you need food or water by a friend, saying "WE REQUIRE MORE COWBELL" fails to amuse anyone and if done too many times will end up with you being shot.

2. No matter how much I wish, I will never get to hold my friends m107 for him.

3. Declaring parlay won't get your ass saved from bandits (although it will make them laugh)

4. going into the lighthouse and spinning with your flashlight on top going "BOOP BOOP" doesn't help anybody.

5. cars vs zombies may work but trying to do car vs rubble never does.

6. "when in doubt whip it out" isn't a good way of implying pulling out your weapon and gives people the wrong idea.

7. being in a helicopter and going SOI SOI SOI SOI, will make the helicopter pilot purposly crash you into the ground while he jumps and parachutes.

8. running around on the nwaf and getting shot by a bandit which leads to me breaking my leg does not allow me to do the moment in family guy with the "GHHHH AHHH, GHHH AHHHH" until he finishes me off.

9. I will be kicked if I say "THIS SUNDAY SUNDAY, AT THE NWAF, NWAF, MAYHEM IN CARS. COME TO THE OFFROAD TITAN TAKE ON THE FRIENDLY URAL".

10. my friend shoots me in the face if he gets killed by a bandit and after I kill a bandit. I sing "one of these suvrivors is not the like other one one of these survivors are alive!"

11. Luring zombis to bandits is always funny.

12. Ringing the dinnerbell when your about to log makes your friends shoot you when you log in the next day.

13. Being shot (and being not hit) doesn't allow me to sing over direct chat "CAN'T touch this! duh nuh nuh nuh nuh"

14. when a car runs out of fuel. I can't put it into neutral and push it to the next gas station.

15. doors can kill especially if your fully equipped.

16. Zombies can climb ladders, "ZOMBIES CAN GET UP HERE?!"

17. when a player screams friendly after firing at you he's likely a bandit.

18. if a friend screams "not friendly" at you he's kidding so don't shoot him in the head with the dmr.

19. if a random server player goes "i'm at the hospital and need a blood bag." and when you reach the hospital none of the glass is broken like he claimed it was proceed to scream "ITS A TRAP" prior to dying from the bandit.

20. I am unable to fly a helicopter for my life.

21. my friend is unable to fly a plane (but i can)

22. I don't need to get "winter tires" for my car.

23. as much as I wish for it, I can't hide dead bodies in the trunk of my car.

24.atvs+bridges= disaster

25. as a passenger in a helicopter, if the pilot screams "OH SHIT TREE" that's your queue to jump out so you live.

26. no matter how much you try, bandits shooting at you won't answer "WHAT IS THE VELOCITY OF AN UNLADEN SWALLOW"

27. when my legs break, I AM NOT the black knight.

28. you'll get to the f in the FUN song from spongebob before your friend shoots you.

29. It IS acceptable to sing YOUR THE BEST AROUND! if you take out 4 bandits by yourself.

30. if your friends die, it isn't an excuse to sing "one is the loneliest of numbers" because you too will be killed.

31. You will be shot if you pick up a lee enfield and scream "this is my rifle this is my gun this is for fighting and this is for fun"

32. you will be killed if you pick up a lee enfield and scream "THIS IS MY RIFLE WITHOUT MY RIFLE I AM USELESS".

33. it is amusing to players if I go save them and imitate dr nick.

34. its creepy if I go save them and imitate herbert th epervert.

35. its funny if I kill somebody and imitate quagmire.

36. friends are there to cause you anger and disappointment.... followed by great laughs.

Hope you enjoyed the read!

Edited May 7, 2013 by jdtherocker

[jdtherocker 37]

new one: get to the choppa is not an appropiate comment on whether we are being fired at.