Steak and Potatoes 13480 Posted October 19, 2012 (edited) Shortly after a fresh spawn in kamenka from my prior vehicle incident passing out and killing two good survivors. I make my way to balota. The airfield is littered with slain survivors on the runway and shots are ringing out like ammunition grows on trees. Names keep popping up was killed seven I’ve counted.Fearful for my characters life I run straight into the airfield where the storm is being unleashed. I check the west hangar and find a bandit standing with what looks like an AK Kobra over a stack of yet more murdered individuals.I give him the confused survivor look and stand with my hands at my side. He gently says “I’m friendly it’s not what it looks like I’ve been framed.” Friendly? Ok sounds fair enough so I enter the hanger and begin looting the corpses as he watches me with AK drawn. He says are you stupid? I reply stupid is as stupid does it’s my first day playing. He pops a shot into the ground next to me and says dance or die. Never turning down and opportunity to tango I start giving it the business as I play hall and oates dreams come true over direct.He chuckles and his voice volume increases and says would you like to play a game? Okay. Follow me he says! He lures me out behind the hanger and shoots me in the leg breaking it. I say wow this games awesome. He replies no this is so you don’t run away bandage. I bandage and he points out a motorcycle on the hill by the trees and says lets go. I crawl up to it and mount we ride down to the main road and slam it through cherno while bullets whiz by us as pop is up to 49 on server. People screaming help me on direct waving us down on the road the whole nine as we blaze through town.As we approach cap golova I inquire what is this game were going play? He begins to reply and is rudely interrupted when a sniper round from the cliff side nails homeboy in the neck and the bike rolls off the road. I switch to driver and punch it to electro laughing the whole way for my new bike kicks dick and the other guy got owned.I need medical so I ram into electro hospital break the windows and bail crawling. I have to crawl a few moments waiting for supplies as I hear pvp occurring all around me. I morphine and mount up again and start to head out of town. Everyone is running into town from oatmel yelling pick me up save me. I blow past those hussies and find a woman running north on the road. Me Being me I pull over and ask if she wants a ride “wink wink” she accepts and i tell to let her hair down as we head off northbound. I strike up a conversation like were old friends and realize I’m not watching the road thus slamming us into a rim on the ground obliterating the bike and throwing me into shock while bleeding. She says you idiot and runs off into the woods spraying blood, yelling profanities which I cannot make out. Once again my driving skillz have failed me and I lost the dream weaver for she thinks I am a piss poor driver.I patch up and head back south towards electro only to find homeboy with a hatchet on the road waiting he says where’s my bike? I reply I met a blazing hot chick so I took her for a spin and its now on fire up the road.. Homeboy says wrong answer and chops me down like a lumber jack in a log cabin. I lay there bleeding broken as he finishes me off saying how fun is this now? my bike huh?MacPherson was killed. Edited October 19, 2012 by Steak and Potatoes 9 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Stoned Wolf 491 Posted October 19, 2012 Absolutely beautiful. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steak and Potatoes 13480 Posted October 19, 2012 I've been put on the never aloud to drive again list by friends due to drunk driving however I thought the motorbike might go different i was mistaken Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hetstaine 10852 Posted October 19, 2012 Filed under Hetstaines DayZ protips. Protip 1 : Never get in four wheeled vehicle with Steak as the driver. Protip 1A: Never get in a boat with Steak as the Capitano Protip 1B: Never get in a helicopter with Steak as the Pilot Protip 1C: Never get on a two wheeled vehicle with Steak as the Steve McQueen stand in. Out in Ebookform shortly. HetSteaks protips. Sure to be a best seller. All killer..no filler..some slenderman. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steak and Potatoes 13480 Posted October 19, 2012 Its official that I have crashed every vehicle within 15 minutes of operation Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toilet 204 Posted October 19, 2012 That story was fucking magical. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bearded McGee 121 Posted October 19, 2012 Great story!P.S. Are you really saying I can't write, still, after this? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steak and Potatoes 13480 Posted October 19, 2012 (edited) Great story!P.S. Are you really saying I can't write, still, after this?I've gGreat story!P.S. Are you really saying I can't write, still, after this?lawlz no I am not. typing in the nights story on shift at work proves to limit my time therefore I do not proof read cheers good sir. Edited October 19, 2012 by Steak and Potatoes Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
