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I had the same issue. My max-connections (on my internet-router) are set to 4096 (thats maximum) and DayZ-Commander caused my router to reach this number very quick. The solution is to lower your TCP/UDP-Timeout settings. The standard was 120 Seconds for UDP-Timeout. After I set it to 60 Seconds the problem was gone. Cant say what routers have the ability to change that value, but in the DD-WRT-Software you can find it in "Administration" -> "Management" - "IP Filter Settings" Oh and: http://www.dayzcommander.com/faq#D
Have my beans. The last tip (waiting in the lobby) was unknown to me since now. Will try to follow these tips and hope it helps. Lost my gear twice in three days after spawing in the debug plains :(