lickstaph@hotmail.com

First time I ever log into Dayz: Die a few times because I wasn't stealthy enough to avoid zombies. Finally get my hands on a hatchet, kill a few zombies. Nearly die from thirst and starvation because I'm a noob at scavenging. Suddenly, guy with a ghillie suit and NVG comes out of nowhere. I say "Boy it's sure good to see another player! These zombies freak me out" or something like that. He lays down a box for me, full of weapons, and tells me to take my pick. Woo! Finally, things are going my way! We parade across the map, slaughtering zombies left right and center. I ask him how he gets such good gear. He tells me he's a hacker. He also tells me he's the worlds nicest hacker, and that this was my lucky day. Calls himself the "Survival Jesus". And from that day on, I was a believer. Jesus has returned to earth, and he hacks Dayz and helps out noobs. XD