The Aquatic Land Walrus

How about a jack in the box? Scare the shit out of zombies.

FIRST

Video removed by user. ffs

First I started near a shore of some sorts. After I found out how to switch to third person camera (first person makes me dizzy because of the shaking camera) I walked ten meters and then got chased by a zombie. Gotta turn around and run away! Wait, what? I can't turn? What is this sorcery? Needless to say, I died. Seemingly, pressing any combination of W, D or A doesn't make you turn in any way. Ultimately I found a way to solve this by assigning the turn left and right to my Q and E buttons so now I can navigate the map. Is this normal? Isn't there supposed to be a way to turn your character using the default key bindings? Si. It is usually auto-assigned to the mouse. After respawning and being able to move around the world, I decided to explore for a bit. I reached a small open building which looked a bit like a small shop. Sneaking in like a boss, dodging the menacing looking zombie just outside, I find a menacing looking fire axe right on the ground. Yes, my first weapon, I think by myself. But wait. I can't pick it up I just opened the door so my interact button is fine, and I tried it from many different angles and moving over it a thousand times, but I simply can't pick the item up. Are you not supposed to pick up an axe lying on the ground in a building? What the heck is going on Axes are particurally hard to get, as sometimes they are part-buried in the ground. Most likely arma being a fagdick. Well okay, maybe I can't pick up all items, I think. Lets just visit another building and see if we can find anything there instead. I walk to some buildings, sneak past the zombies and arrive at the door. The door won't open. There's no icon or whatsoever, while the door at the shop I just visited opened pretty fine. I tour at least ten buildings and none of their doors will open. Hell, I even find a building where the door is slightly open and I still can't do anything with it. What is this? Are you not supposed to be able to open most of the buildings in this game? Even when they appear slightly open? If so, what's the whole point of those buildings? Sadly, yes. some buildings are there solely for decoration, or losing zombies by running in a circle like a drug dealer with a cop. Iunno the full reason. Blame dinkleburg. At some point I walk past a large voltage towers (not sure what they're called in English) so I decide to climb the ladder to get a view of my surroundings. I can interact with the first pair of stairs, no problem. There's no problem going up the second stairs either. But wait, then suddenly the interact symbol disappears and I'm stuck at the second floor. It took me about two minutes until I received the user icon to go up the stairs to the third floor, and then it took me another two minutes to get the icon again to descend. Is this normal? Voltage towers are particurally unusual. Some ladders are hard to get a hold of. So, yes. I guess./.. After scouring the countryside for at least an hour, dodging a human player with a pistol trying to kill me and looking for supplies and a weapon myself, finally I find a barn with an already open door. It's infested with zombies, but for some reason I manage to sneak up the ladder undetected and I find some ammo. I have no gun yet, but well at least it's a good find. Going up the other ladder and bingo! There's a double barreled shotgun with two shells. It's not much as far as ammo goes, but it's a start. But wait, I can't pick it up. Why can't I pick it up? After trying multiple different angles, I finally manage to pick up the single gun.Why is it so hard to pick up items in this game? Once again, Arma being a bitch. The physics are what messes the guns up n shit. Running out, I get chased down by a zombie and I try to shoot it. I try to click my right mouse button to aim down the sight but it doesn't seem to do anything so I run away instead. When I'm finally safe, I try aiming again. It doesn't work. Yet I saw a video of the mod where a person was looking down his sights before entering the building. Why can't I? I just used my right mouse button, should I enable it somehow? I think I read somewhere that you can't aim down the sight when you are injured and you need painkillers. Is that maybe it? Why can't I aim down my sights? For me, the starting keybind was mousepad 0 or something. Just change the settings. Ultimately, I get ambushed by a few zombies and I get downed (or something). Then suddenly I can aim down my sight and fire a few shots, but the option disappears again pretty quickly. After a few seconds, a hourglass-like icon appears and then I'm dead. What just happened to me? What happened: firstly, the zombies broke your leg. No walking for you, until you get a needle of morphine and man up, ya pussie. Second, don't shoot zombies with a gun like the DB shotgun. too loud. Run around in the woods to lose them. Next, when the icon appeared, you were knocked unconcious. bloodloss, shock, any factor. Once you were unconcious, they feasted upon your balls. GG. Happened to me in my newbie age, too. Research the game on googtube, play with a buddy etc etc. GL out there -An Aquatic Land Walrus

I got ambushed by 5 hatchet wielding jason's. My friend had just given me my first m4a3. I head down to zeleno, only to find 5 little bombis nearby, trying to fix a bus. One takes out the vladamir makarov, and i shoot him in the faec. Next 4 bum rush me, so i mow them down. Last one is on the ground, unconcious. I epi-pen him, and shoot him in the face. Then then proceed to call me a hacker. -(^)-

AK's, and lee enfields. For NVG, and ghillie suit? The only thing i'd give you for that shit is an empty tin can.

UAZ 1 skooma.

One large flaw. Say, someone kills a person in self defence. The Dead person rages, and gets his friends to put the killer on here as a bad trade. There should be some form of evidence required to make a negative report.

If i felt like a dick today, i'd load up my non-existant grenade launcher with HE's. But, that wont happen.

Glitches: Door Just derp: Switched seats in a flying heli Combat: Bum rushed 15 zombies with a crowbar. Got shot after killing them all.

We didnt miss you.

Threw an empty tin can at a helicopter. Didn't end well for him. It destroyed it.

Reminds me of the time i destroyed a car with a hatchet.

Inb4possiblegrave How to snipe: Aim Shoot Don't bother looting the body, because you are most likely a camping asshole.

I respect everything you did, except murdering the driver. Trust is once in a DayZ lifetime. GG though.

This was great. You inspired me to make my own version of these. I'll throw your name in, as credits. <3

Did you save the vehicle? If not, that's why.

No comment.

I play on public hives at least once a day. No hackers since august.

Everyone hates the railgun users now. *sigh* I'll get my hatchet....

How to adress player killing: Give me a Gun. Where are all those bandits? Oh wait....

I was looting cherno, still in "bambi mode activate". I had my winchester in my backpack so nobody wouldtake me as hostile. Big mistake. Right as i leave the supermarket, some asshole in what looked like a hero skin tried to shoot me with a lee enfield. Somehow, i had aggroed a zombie, and the zombie blocked the shot for me <3. I ran behind the supermarket, and emptied 5 shots into him. He had nothing on him, but I learned that it is kill or be eaten by zombies.

He stated " so after refusing help from a guy and offering him help at cherno (at fire station), i logged out for 5 minutes." He just left. Simple.

Every good sniper ends with a rage-ban by an admin.

Wait. I was on that server. I recognize the name "john". I heard a heli, and then crashed.