Bernd (DayZ)

So I get on uk6 this afternoon and spawn by the factory in Cherno. I check out the nearest house. Nothing but a pile of empty cans. I can hear the bastards growling down below but the bushes are thick, so I prone up through the field towards the wall outside the factory. I think of making for the gate when I hear his breath. Just beside where I am lying, on the other side of the wall. Has he tracked me from the nearby hill? When will it come, and how? With the hatchet or the bullet? I am helpless, and lie perfectly still beneath the bushes. I hear a shot. Then nothing. It cracks out again, right behind me. Then nothing. Then another. I hear movement, then silence. I dare not move. Those minutes freeze the piss in me, but I can bear it no longer and get to my feet, resigned to die rather than cower in the hedge. I get through the gap in the wall and...nothing. Skirting round the landside of the building I find a ladder, gain the roof, then the far end. I climb down, stupidly visible for miles, but unharmed. The grunts of the infected are everywhere, but I still cannot see them. When I hit the ground the madness begins. Some lunatic roars past In a car playing the most demented music I have heard outside my opium dreams. He is invisible due to the wall, but keeps insanely beeping the horn and playing what can only be described as Russian circus music from the car stereo. I did not expect to hear some vodka-crazed gopnik's banging tunes booming from his 'ride' in an infested wasteland, but there was more to come. I cried out, 'what the fuck is going on here? Is the circus in town?' but the mentalist behind the wheel preferred to let his boom box do the talking. I ran to the wall and dropped behind a tree, whilst he tootled and parped and revved crazily back and forth. This has to be a set up. Some kind of psyops-designed to send me as mad as them. It's working. Then i spot some guy's name tag in the distance. I call him and announce myself as friendly. He says nothing. This time I am certain I am going to die. Not only that, but I am going to die to the sound of deranged carnival music. I wait for the bandit to finish me when the chopper comes whipping down, studding the ground with hi calibre ordnance. First goes Coco the clown and his parpmobile, then the (now two) dudes in the field. I wait until the explosions die down and the chopper has gone before looting the dead. Twenty minutes in and I have a gps, silenced red dot rifle, nvg, map, matches...and a coyote full of goodies. Life is absurd, sometimes more than others, but it is seldom this kind.

I have been playing for three days and just saved my first life. It is a very rewarding experience I can tell you. Also, first day on and I meet a guy in the barn around Bor. he is friendly, more experienced and leads us on a raid on the supermarket nearby. There are still decent people out there.

I have pm'd you. If you reply I will save you.

I'm too far away, sorry. Have you posted in the 'need medical help' thread? Here Good luck.

Ben-met you on uk6 in the barn. You showed me how to raid the supermarket at Zelen, and kept the Zeus off me. I have been looking for you buddy. It's Bernd. If you want to hook up again my steam is Slack. The Slack with the hand banana/Carl cartoon. Good times, and it would be cool to hook up again. Bernd

So after kiting the zeds around Komarovo, I make it shakily up to Bor, with a few hairy collisions with minor obstacles to stimulate rectal peristalsis. Nothing like swerving into a bush with four raging zeds milling about to concentrate the mind. So it is up to the barn and into the upper floor. I find a tent lower down - two in fact - but keep my own weapon and leave the loot. I hear a voice - 'Friendly in the barn'. I am certain there is more than one 'visitor' and that they are naming me, not announcing their intentions. I speak up, lower the shotgun and alert my new friend to the zed beneath the gantry he is crouched upon. It is tense, but I am determined not to be that person who obeys his atavisms. We clear out the remaining zeds, share the loot we find and make off toward Zeleno. Ben gets me to the supermarket - to a pistol, binos, watch - vital kit. We part in the woods after a Benny Hill routine up the hill involving me, an ammo-less rifle, and Ben picking off the keener zeds. I nearly die, but he saves me with Frank 'n' beans. Ben, if you are reading this I hope to convey some of the thrill and delight of meeting a player who does not think it meet to backstab me, nor is such a lily livered whelp as to shoot on sight. It would appear, after several KOS incidents, that Chernarus is not without hope. Ben saved my life a few times, and showed me a handy tip or two. I hope to link up with him again and repay his integrity with some well deserved loot. Which I first have to find, so - back on the bike it is!

Hee hee. That would have been me! UK6 I presume. Did you hear me tinkling the bell for ++aggro?