Bernd (DayZ)

I love kiting zeds around the towns and villages of the borough on the bicycle. It's marvellous. Until I faceplant at 38km/h and insta-die. I thought that the bicycle was the only vehicle I could safely use until I met the cliff. Still love it, though.

I try to broaden my horizons (and those of others - ask them) when in-game, since every day is incomplete without a Z. I've simply offered myself to the wilderness and I have quickly come to love it. Not that it doesn't benefit from a little 'zazz' - so I bring fashion tips, wildlife correspondence and now my new nightclub in Cherno to the mix - which all help to relieve the ennui of post apocalyptic life.

Am I the only one who would like to see a repairable train? A choo choo would be marvellous. We could have outings and a locomotive enthusiast society.

Oh we've all had the chemical phase. That's cool. I simply adore dogs, too. Chihuahua? Labradoodle? Tell me you haven't dyed it pink! Do you have a disco ball by any chance? I do like your lightsticks idea. Let's *rock* that candy raver look! It looks like we already have a party pooper - I'm looking at, YOU, Mr. Landlord - so we may have to keep times and locations on the down-low. I'm thinking opening night, a week Wednesday. Can we start talking names? I think 'The Midweek Mental' might have the right ring. Dogs, chickens - all are welcome. Personally speaking the wilder the life the better! Server name will go up in this thread. You won't be able to miss this - we will be the talk of the town! PS If anyone wants to go shopping with me later I could use a weekend wardrobe and some of those delightful little logpiles to create an artisan look to the pad.

I am certain that we have all logged into a server bleary eyed after a hard night being teleported and kicked for innocent behaviour, whilst some troll soils himself laughing after nuking Cherno with no consequence but player grief under the watchful Battleeye. There are moments in life which leaven the heaviest of burdens. Getting into the CSS heli and having my name 'bernd' greeted with laughter, and my skype name 'friendlybernd' with even more, I know what it is like to break the tension with a good hoot. The best moment I have enjoyed was early this morning. Battleeye had seen fit to globally ban the globe, and no one was getting in anywhere. No one, it seemed, except Daen Le Swag Muffin ...who was sashaying through the fields of the wasteland without a care. Even typing that name now causes me to splutter over the keyboard. So, what I need to know is, has anyone seen anything that can beat Daen here? Oh my.

Beans for nearly making me soil *my*underwear with laughter.

In Soviet Russia, dog feed YOU!

One thing we cannot have failed to notice is the parlous state of public transport in Chernarus. Whilst healthcare remains patchy if much improved, I cannot remember the last time I saw a bus in Kamenka. Really. If this were a German zombie apocalypse we would have not only functional put punctual trains as well. It is therefore laudable that you choose to enter the void in this manner, and I can only applaud your efforts to return a sense of decency to Chernorussian public life. I simply ask that if you see the buggers putting their feet up on the seats you shoot them fatally without warning or exception.

You have a lift yet? Add us on skype, as we need voice :D

TS is down just now. Patient matmanz please add me on skype and identify as matmanz.

We all have our preferences. Most of us prefer to go 'Chernarus casual', strolling down the beach in our denims and caps, just waiting for the action to arrive. Others team their wilderness threads with a dashing cravat, while others still simply can't be seen around Elektro town without their oh-so-chi chi Hermès headscarf. I have even heard tell of some far out fashion victims stitching their own catsuits from what seems to be the very leaves and grasses of Chernarus itself. This 'wookie' look is the only thing to be seen in if you are heading north and hitting up the woods to hunt for hunks and chunks. Finally, and perhaps most popular of all, is the infectious craze for scarlet face paint teamed with rags of all descriptions. You can see these fashion vicitms doing their trademark 'booty stagger' through practically every district in the country. Anyway, leaving aside this season's hot trends in Chernarussian urban and country style, it's time to talk personal grooming, skin care and all things face related. Naturally I myself am the ace and deuce of 'drop dead' gorgeous - because let's face it, I drop dead quite a lot, and gorgeous is the only way to die in this borough. So ladies and gentlemen - your faces please, and the choices behind them. Mine is below - I think I caught my good side, and I am going for the 'smokin' but sophisticated' look. Show us your look and tell us why you took it!

Hi there to all you fashion fans setting that Chernarussian catwalk alight! I have been around town and country all this week and today I bring you lucky loot lovers the *very* *last* *word* in how to ride to that Elektryifying rendezvous that we are all just dying to get to. Ladies, Gentlemen and those booty-stagger crazies all doing the monster mash, I bring you the magic bus to good time city. Look out for me setting the road on fire in this sweet little blue eyed boy, that mister death seems to go wild for! We all know that feeling when we're rolling, and the haters come a' hatin'. Nuke, this one's for you. I know you say my fabulous ride is nothing but a 'Fag wagon', but you and I know that you'd trade ten UAZ's just to roll like me. Keep that eagle eye out for the ladykilling Lagonda that you see below, and be sure to fire me off a 'message' through the windshield anytime you see my sweet little features sweeping into town! PS Special shout out to the wilderness wildboy with the sweetest name in the game. Daen Le Swag Muffin, I simplay can't wait to see what you look like in the daytime! You can swing that swag into my wagon any time, baby!

Hello Amadeus Following a chat with the good Dr., there is now a new initiative which may be of interest to yourself and other Flying Doctors. Please check your pm. Stay safe.

Please join teamspeak ts.ourdomain.me:9990 Poke me bud and we will get to you.

Please join teamspeak ts.ourdomain.me:9990 Poke me. We'll get to you.

Hello. We can help. Please join the TMW teamspeak ts.ourdomain.me:9990 and poke me.

Pm'd you. Please join teamspeak ts.ourdomain.me:9990 or log in to your skype. Added you.

Please join teamspeak on ts.ourdomain.me:9990

Plese join teamspeak on ts.ourdomain.me:9990

Please join teamspeak or add me on skype giving your ingame name.

Check pm.

Aren't you the wild boy? Come on guys! Faces please, and the thought behind them. Why do you look the way you do, and what does your look do for you?

Morning patients and medics alike. We are airborne now and taking medical jobs across the map. Please add me on skype with your ingame name and location and we will be with you ASAP EDIT: TMW teamspeak is good for contacting me too. Find me here: ts.ourdomain.me:9990

Beans for 'Suhvahve!'

Doing NWAF on foot from now on.