Bernd (DayZ)

ok guys hit me up on skype - friendlybernd - -and the disco is about to start! Make sure you roll back to version 1.2.7.4 in dayz commander - and we are ready to welcome you!

DISCO IN 1/2 an hour gentlemen - downgrade thru dayz commander and get to Cherno apartments! Using 1.2.7.4 - don't use sixlauncher party fans! Join tmw teamspeak and message 'party bernd'

Hey party people! Make sure you have dayz commander installed - you'll need to roll back to version 1.7.2.4 Wink wink! Start makin your way to Cherno now guys - we are just setting up.

Tonight is the night! Party people - I need your help! Please hunt for party gear and distribute the flyer below to any dancefloor divas you know. I'll be rocking an oh-so-macho camouflage ensemble - wear what you like, but travel light! The venue is marvellous, but the neighbourhood does tend to go *bang*! Uploaded with ImageShack.us

I met a chappie yesterday in the up and coming area of Zelenogorsk. He logged in at the supermarket and had no mic. I told him I was a medic, that he was not going to be shot at etc., and he responded by dropping his weapon on the ground. We did offer him a lift but he preferred not to hop in. Given the way we fly he was both courageous and wise.

Will do!

No prob buddy!

Heading to you now. Check your skype. Please join tmw teamspeak

Join the ts ts.dayzmedics.com we are inbound

To our patient in Stary: join TMW teamspeak and poke me. Sorry we lost voice comms.

Check pm : teamspeak is 24.25.176.204 Help is on the way

We can help. Please join ts: 24.25.176.204 Poke bernd

Don't listen to the naysayers, party fans. Saturday night will set the map alight - and although it might be a thrillingly brief experience given my open roof policy (no face control here!), those who miss it will *wish* they were dead! Watch this space - and remember - those ghillie suits are *so* last month!

Guys, it's 20:48 and my DJ has pulled out. The party is off.... ...but back on for Saturday! Interested parties please pm me and we can get this show on the road!

please join the tmw teamspeak and poke me. heading to you now. ts.dayzmedics.com

On duty, Northwest sector. Join TMW teamspeak and poke me. ts.dayzmedics.com

Ok guys I'm back in town and tomorrow is the night to get down! Post here if you can supply chemlights, light snacks and sensational disco music. Wednesday, 10pm UK time is the time to remember. I'll pm you all the server well in advance. Stay fabulous, friends, and let's set this place ablaze!

Kris, O Kris... Whilst we can all feel your pain, a mere few get to wear that sensational scarf that has so defined 2012 in Chernarus. People are literally dying to rock that bad boy. You should reflect on the to-die-for appeal of your hero outfit and consider yourself lucky that people find you so fabulous that they simply have to kill you. Would you like to come to a disco?

So I decided to give a sermon in a church, since I felt the occasion demanded it. Over direct comms. My disappointment at the human quotient of the congregation remaining at a steadfast zero was forgotten in the swarm of undead who were not, it transpired, hungry for spiritual nourishment. The thought that I was unarmed I dismissed as the sort of thing that would never have held St. Francis back. Cue more desperate Benny Hilling, this time round a lectern and down the aisle to an unholy union with death.

Hey Cru I remember you. You were one of my patients. We fixed you up and you went on to...this. Really, words fail me. I can live with the homicide and the gloating, but the Mask of Shame avatar? I see you, and feel the pity of a thousand Mister Ts.

Hey Flunky, I just knew you'd be aching to be makin' the scene. If you want to help set up after that 'meeting' then I could use a hand... Hey granddaddy grumbles! You bring that whippin' stick and the boys will be queuing round the block. In fact, you could be our new attraction. Don't move out, move up- into disco heaven. What kind of brute thinks of money when moving to 'Dancing Queen?' You, your beans and your impeccable taste in music are welcome. Well hello there lonely pony! Why not canter on down to disco town and say goodbye to those Berezhino blues? Bring your Madonna records and prepare to shake that tail all night long!

We are going to be rocking original disco mixed with dance floor classics on Wednesday the 29th on a server TBA. Dress code is relaxed. Bring a chemlight to wave and prepare to show me your booty stagger! Light snacks and exquisite interior design are complimentary.

Survived a bandit attack in Elektro fire station, only to glitch into the wall and die. Patient overwatched my corpse, I regeared and found an old bike at the lighthouse. Immediately killed myself riding down a hillside. The bike was fine but the patient may have injured himself laughing. Our party managed to kill a confirmed scripter in the woods, and we were all making our escape when our bodyguard reversed the truck over me. In further bicycle adventures I confess to being a bit of a zed kiter. I love breezing through town dinging my merry little bell, getting the undead all riled up and Benny Hilling after me. Until the bike stops dead in a field, having found the one (and invisible) rock for miles around. Needless to say the horde devoured me. I still love bicycles and have yet to learn my lesson.

Hey Thomas that's cool, I don't mind being run over or forgotten - and anyway you weren't driving the truck. My bodyguard was.

Beans for the best quote of all time.