Mars Sultan

Well, given that the revolver/m1911 have unlimited ammo, I'd say they are still good weapons. Great, in fact.

How can people be expected to streamsnipe you if you don't even have the goddamn courtesy to post what server you're on?

Did you update your video drivers?

As a racist and sexist I find this offensive.

Can still using the phrase "lulz" in the year 2012 be adequate justification for killing someone?

Man, you noscoped the fuck out of this guy and now you're being all apologetic about it? Why aren't you floating on an orgasmic cloud of achievement? Is there something wrong with you? You're not... a scrub, are you? It's ok - you're among friends here. Well, I'm not your friend. But I'm sure some exist.

Y'know... Funnily enough, the fat kid would never hesitate to recount his favorite vagina joke either. Gasp! Sir, it is an honor. May I slam your face in? For old times' sake?

Come to think of it... Yeah, I did.

You know that fat kid who sat across from you during lunch, slurping and smacking his lips while inhaling his 3rd snack pack like a fatty mclardass fat tubby fat fat? The one whose face you wanted to slam repeatedly into the table until the fat and wretchedness was beaten out of him? Of course you do. I'd like to posit the theory that whoever recorded the eating voiceover for DayZ is that very fat kid, ripped straight from our collective subconscious and replayed back to us. The cadence, the rhythm; it's just pitch-perfect enough that maximum cringe levels can be reached when exposed to it. So if you're out there, Mr. Hungry VO Artist, thank you sincerely for not only providing a measured dose of nausea and discomfort into our lives every day, but giving poignant insight into the obesity problem in our culture.