Cool Sam

Hat is off to you sir. Put the fear in those nubs every chance you get. :)

Apologies to the 3-4 interlopers snooping in the woods behind the hangars of Bolota tonight. Encroaching uninvited into sovereign BrH territory is an automatic death sentence. Thank you for the gear!

Jihad Slave last night was best slave. They're getting crafty...

Though the past few weeks have been a bountiful harvest for 'hackers', we must not forget that this mod affords us a number of opportunities to ensnare and harass other players outside the purview of technical breaches that currently besiege the promise of hard earned lulz. Please let this thread be the avenue by which all other DayZ players share tales of other players they have caught without the means to defend themselves and how you exploited/harassed/murdered/4thelulz them for your own gratification. Though the FRATERNITY OF BANDITS has been sullied by scripts/hackers/etc, do not let that deter those of us who have victimized others for the lulz without aid other than our own volition to ruin a player's day. Now is your time. Just let it all out...

Terribly lippy, that Camyren.

Time to graduate to lulzy slavery, good sir!

Example of Kung Fu Slaving. The barometer to gauge which slaves are obedient and those which have to be put down.

I digress, the thread is/was geared for others to share their perverse tales. Apologies if it does not agree with your sensible palate. No need for personal attacks, sir. A bullet spent on a slave is not a wasted resource, and a kill count is an arbitrary distraction. The thrill of the hunt is what counts. Bearing that in mind, a small story. We captured two slaves last night. Lucky catch really. Drove along Cherno in the Slave Wagon...found two fresh spawns running along the coast. All their running and racket caught the attention of nearby Zeds. We did what any sensible slavers would do, we feigned rescue. "You guys sure are lucky we found you when we did." "Holy shit thanks. Where are we going?" the slave asked. "Taking you to our base. Get you guys geared." So we drove back to Bolota, parked in Hangar 1. We slavers always feel its proper to at least give our newest acquisitions a fair and honest rundown of their disposition once they're in our possession. "We have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're alive and in our care. The bad news is that you're our slaves and we will not hesitate to kill you for disobedience. We'll fix you up, and if you're good, you'll be fed and watered. If you're bad..." Our driver tends to be a little rough on our vehicles and we do our best to maintain them to the best of our ability. Sometimes this necessitates checking the suspension. "Lay on the ground. Both of you." The slaves laid parallel to one another. The vehicle purred back to life and promptly rolled over our slave's legs, breaking them. "You have a choice, crawl to away into uncertainty or stay here...to dance." Neither crawled away. After a quick patch, they were up dancing to 'Kung Fu Fighting'. Then their friends arrived...

To any and all slaves taken and inevitably murdered by the Cool Slaver's Guild, we are not sorry. The beans will not fetch themselves. We WILL find you.

A sardonic retort from the moral high ground of age and wisdom! How so very adorable. Rest assured, no 'dark passenger' lurks within. As I said, the food won't fetch itself and defenseless survivors make for mighty fine retrievers...until they disobey. Feel free to snark and snipe from your perch. A yappy survivor screams twice as loud. :)

There is nothing unplesant here, only true bandits (occasional or full-time) relishing the memories of fleeting victims. It is an honor for helpless players to serve COOL SAM.

You will not be spared. My food/water will not fetch itself. For that, we require 'helpful retrievers'.

I'll start... A man wielding an axe ran near me. Upon threats of violence if the terribly dangerous weaponw as not relinquished, he relented and dropped the weapon while cautionary shots were fired at his feet. When told he would be my 'slave', a squeaky voice replied, "Ok!" A bullet was not content to be fired near his feet... ...but into his head.