Ghost Garret

To you, my good Sir, I say; BULLSHIT

So funny that I forgot to laugh.

I pull up the DayZ launcher, start it, click on multiplayer and choose a server with decent ping. I join in, find some mags for my M1911, a couple blood bags, and epi-pen. I loot the firestation in Cherno, scavenge all the corners of buildings, and look into the hotel. My decide that I'm happy with my loot for now and decide to go out of Cherno and into the forest for safety for the undead. I pull out my M19 and eat some canned beans and drink a mountain dew. My blood is 7000-ish. I follow this road that leads to some sort of cabin or house. I get closer and then I see two guys standing close to each other. I notice that none of their mouths are moving so it must mean they have teamspeak, skype, or some other communication gadget. One has a SVD while the other had nothing. The man with the SVD is always wearing a camo suit. All of a sudden, a man in a ghillie suit approachs. He points his gun at the man with no loot and then faces the uniformed one. Then, some sort of motorcycle thingy drives up. Me, having no idea how the fuck these guys got all this stuff, I let my curiosity take over. The man in the ghillie suit then faces the man with nothing and kills him with two shots. The man with the motorcycle, the man with the uniform, and the one in the ghillie suit then face each other again. I assume that they're talking. Take note, the three men are looking at each other in some sort of triangle. I then decide that it's my que to leave. I then roll to the left side, continuing on. After a couple minutes, ghillie guy walks up to my area and walks up to a tree. Perhaps to get wood. I then make the mistake of rolling again, in where he sees me. He then points his gun at me and yells at me to quote "Stop fucking moving" end quote. He then makes me press the surrender key. The others. who are alarmed by the man's shout, come to aid. They then point their guns at me, ghillie had a M4A1 but with CCO (unlike me), 'uniformed' had his SVD pointing at me, and the motorcycle driver pointed a AKM. They then take me to the very same spot where the other man had been executed. The ghillie-man then went up to me and took my loot, dropping it on the floor, probably cause his inventory was filled. I now have absolutely nothing. 'Uniformed' then points his SVD and looks at me. Or, atleast his character was. BOOM. I fall to the floor, the screen showing all the current players with their zombie kills. I can only see the first victim's body, blocking my final sight of the black and white forest.

Wow. I actually should've done that now that I think about it.

My first experience with ladders: So, I'm in some sort of base that looks like a military airfield. It has two hangers, some sort of control tower, and a bunch of zombies walking everywhere. I search inside the hangers first, disappointed to come out only with an empty whiskey bottle. I approach the control tower, avoiding zombies along the way. I go through the front entrance and finding ammo for guns that I don't have. I find a makarov and walk upstairs silently. As I look around, I notice a ladder that goes all the way down the building. The building has been completely looted so I start climbing down the ladder. I slide my mouse wheel, activating the action menu and it says "Go Down Ladder" (Or something close to that) I think that this action is me sliding down the ladder, intentionally going down the ladder faster. Actually, it's just jumping off the ladder. I break a leg and then bleed to death.

I wasn't complaining. I just wanted to share a moment which was disappointing. Though, can't really blame you after I named this thread "Seriously, DayZ. Come on".

Let me pour you a nice big glass ofNO ONE FUCKING GIVES A SHIT

Are you 18+ or are you 8?

I climbed up a ladder that lead to the roof of a firestation. I looked at the tower that was above me and happened to see a Ak with 3 mags just standing there. I go back down the ladder, towards the entrance, and figure out, that the staircase is blocked by barbed wire. (This is a new character) What's yours?

Why the fuck is the staircase text a link?

Bitches with guns are scary. It's why I'm stopped seducing them. xD

Trolled ^

Reserved 9

Bro, I seriously am sorry that some random guy killed you on a beach. Let me pour you a nice glass ofNO ONE FUCKING GIVES A SHIT

OH SHIT, GUYS WE TOTALLY BETTER RUN. THIS GUY MIGHT ACTUALLY KILL US /End Sarcasm

Instead of giving you my beans, I'll eat them then shit on your face.

I'm armed with two frags, a map, compass, night-vision goggles, a 1911, mags for it. I was a new player and had been lucky enough to find these treasures on a dead man in a field. A day later, I spot a helicopter flying above me as I'm shooting zeds. I throw one grenade at the heli that is flying in air, dangerously close to the ground. First grenade is an overshot, as it explodes far above. My second shot is like a fast-ball, and it manages to actually work. I'm screaming on my teamspeak server "HOLY SHIT, CAN'T BELIEVE THAT FUCKING WORKED". Then, out of nowhere, some zombie runs up behind and begins hitting me. I was looking in my inventory at the moment so he managed to get three hits. Third one makes my blood drop to a point where I pass out. The zombie feeds on me til' a random player shoots him. The guy looks at me, he then steals all of my shit and goes for the helicopter. I then get back up (fortunately, my leg was still okay), and start sprinting toward him. I can't go fast enough to get in the passenger of the helicopter, so he flys away. I then die by blood loss.

So, does this count as a good deed?

You begin a diet of baked beans and year-old sodas.

The guy had absolutely nothing. I first shot him in the leg, then bandaged him, then teabagged him, then hit him with an axe in the leg, then bandaged him then gave him a blood transfusion. Rinse and repeat for about five times, then I killed. (I had gotten a load of blood bags from an earlier raid of the hospital.

BRO, I WATCHED BATTLE ROYALE. Hunger Games completely copied Battle Royale. But Battle Royale was so fucked-up, it scared the piss out of me.

ALPHA, GOOGLE IT

Don't have any good deeds. Unless you count popping a cap in some dying man's ass a good deed.

Girls, girls, you're both pretty. Now stop bitching.

Lol, killing in DayZ is thrilling (so is dying). I once just spawned, went up in a building, found a hatchet, and then some random armed man came in the building and shot me. I don't know if he was hacking though, since I was on an upper floor of this building and it only took him half a second to shoot me.