Bambo (DayZ)

Bugger that.

Tires. Lots and lots of fucking tires.

Remorse is for tree-hugging, environmentalist, hippy pussies. Kill or be killed, lad. Don't trust anyone. If a man points a gun at, you better, by God, blow his fucking brains out.

Sounds like you ran into the clan called "Assholes". They're the most numerous and commonly run across clan in all of the Day Z world.

Barbed wire has to go. I have never seen it used for strategic purposes...I've only seen it used by assholes to block popular spawn points. I also believe that it may be the cause of graphical tearing. This has prolly already been suggested before...but whatever...

They are free to do that as they please...so long as they are ONLINE. The problem arises when assholes block the spawn points and then disconnect. The barbed wire remains there for incredibly long periods of time. Also, there are some ppl who just use wire to block spawns just to be assholes. They have no intention of acquiring the loot at all. They just block it because they know it pisses other folk off.

I was wondering if there was anyway to transfer my current vehicle (a truck) to a different server. The admin of the one I'm part of constantly resets his server and I'm getting sick of it. Thanks.

Our ax, who art in barns, hallowed be thy hacks, thy blade falls, thy will be done, in cities as well as towns, give us this day our daily kill, and assist us in our trespasses, as we will kill those who trespass against us, and lead us not to damnation, but deliver us to evil, for thine is the tool, the weapon, and the slayer, forever and ever, amen

I found your truck outside of Chernogorsk. I took it. My friend and I are joyriding it around. It's fun as hell. I have no interest in finding you...but I do want to thank you for the truck and all the shit you put in it for us.

In game name: Scoopolard What you're trading: Shit Idk...make me an offer. What you want: Compass. M203 HE's. NVG's. Toolbox. All of these are not required. But a couple of them would be nice. Age: 19 Current Clan: We call ourselves "Assholes" a lot...but that could just be us making fun of one another excessively. Overwatch: Yes. He'll be far away though. My friends and I can be both drivers (we have our own truck...we'd need some extra storage space though) and looters (apparently intentionally throwing ourselves in scenarios where we could potentially lose everything is quite entertaining). But seriously, for the right payment, we'd be willing to go to just about anywhere...ok...maybe not green mountain...that place scares the shit out of me. PM my Steam (scoopolard) if you prefer.

I would go with something more along the lines of 10 metric tons of salt...but whatever.

You're Irish, right? Go get drunk and beat his ass.

I have a truck. I shall attempt to make it float across the water. However...I must warn you...this has a zero percent chance of working.

Lmfao. Trade status: BANNED.

Well done, sir.

So I found this Mountain Dew in Elektro. I was quite happy to say the least, so I went to what I assumed was a safe location (the industrial district of Elektro) to admire my find (I know I know...I'm a freak). Night was setting in so I decided that it was probably a good idea to set up a perimeter around the tiny ass little industrial building that I was in. I was walking around the building when suddenly I hear footsteps. I can't see very far off in the distance due to the low level of light, but I could tell the individual was heading my direction. I guess he saw me first, because I suddenly hear "don't shoot! don't shoot! friendly! friendly!" on the chat. Right as he said this, I saw him. He was dead sprinting towards me. I couldn't tell if he was armed...but I don't take chances (read that last clause with a badass Duke Nukem voice). I set my M16 on burst and put three rounds in his chest. He went down. I noticed at this point that he was completely unarmed and completely harmless. He was bleeding profusely though so I bandaged him up. He regains consciousness about ten seconds later. "Dude...you broke my legs bro." I had some morphine, but I sure as shit wasn't going to use it on his ass...so I asked him what he wanted to do..."Shoot me. Please. Just fucking kill me." I switched my M16 to semi and fulfilled his wish to become another notch on my "murder" list. I actually felt kind of bad about doing that...but whatever...I digress. After killing that poor bastard, I decided I should probably move. I started to slink around Electro, looking for supplies. I rounded a corner and I witnessed an ax murder. I was quite hilarious really. Some poor scrub with an AKM and a ghillie suit was brutally hacked to death by some assclown bandit with an ax...right in the middle of the bloody street. I waited until the ax murderer had squatted down over the body before making my move. I shot her about eight times in the chest. Then I double tapped her face...ya know...just to make sure. I searched both of the corpses...none of them had much of anything that I would deem "valuable" (I prefer my M16 to the AKM...just saying). After thoroughly tea bagging the shit out of both bodies...I moved on... Night was almost there. The last bits of sunlight guided me to one of the large hills overlooking Elektro. I was about to sign off, but then I noticed some movement. Some asshat with an assault rifle was running through the outskirts of Elektro roughly 50-60 yards away. I put a couple rounds in him with my M16. He survived and retreated behind a building. I heard gun fire. I waited. Then the dumbass went right back out in my line of sight. I switched to burst and emptied half a magazine into his face and chest. He went down faster than an Ewok getting punched in the groin by Mike Tyson. I ran down the hill and searched his corpse. I found NVG's and a rangefinder. I was very happy indeed. I paid my respects by tea bagging his lifeless body. I then went around to the other side of the house. Another corpse was back there. I assumed the fellow I had just killed, killed this guy. Wrong place. Wrong time. Whatever. I looted his body too. He didn't have much. After killing that last fucker, my adrenaline rush prevented me from logging out. I once again began slinking around Elektro. Suddenly, I saw a flare light up a couple blocks away. Then I saw a flashlight reflecting off of several buildings. Clearly a scrub. I followed the flashlight the best I could, but then suddenly it went away. I got frustrated for a second, thinking I had lost my prey...but then I started to see a whole bunch of blue and red lights all over the nearby buildings...the dumbass had literally left me a "Hansel and Gretel" trail of chemlights to find him by. I followed the trail and I finally found him. It was some bloke with a ghillie suit on. He had surrounded himself with barbed wire and he had lit another blue chemlight around himself (I think he thought that that would help him see or something). I couldn't tell what weaponry he had...but I didn't really give a shit at this point. The chemlight he lit served him only one purpose: It made him a really fucking easy target. I emptied a whole magazine into his face. Needless to say, he was thoroughly dead as shit. I looted his corpse, tea bagged his face mercilessly, and then finally signed off. Twas a good day.

I like the other players...but you're still an ass for killing fresh spawns.

You=cock

Don't really know why all of you here are taking this so seriously lol. I wrote this in a cocky, asshole manner that I thought many of you would find humorous.

Not my beans man...not my fucking beans.

Jesus...I didn't know I was able to troll someone by posting a story lol. U mad bro? Yeah...u mad. And yes, I would give myself beans if I could hahaha. No doubt. No doubt.

Fuck that. And fuck Chris Rock. Chris Rock sucks so hard lol.

Goddamn. Why do you people keep pointing this out? Just leave it alone. Christ. It's the only break I can get in this game lol.

I mean, let's give you some morphine, then I'll come over and break your legs...and then you tell me if you can walk...

Because when you're in the middle of fucking nowhere, there aren't any. Have you played this game before? Also, props to the OP. Sounds like you had quite the will to live.