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But. My poor pen. Just sitting in the inventory, never used even to beat zombies.

WHERE IS MY PIZZA PRESTO BILLBOARD Pizza presto means "Pizza Soon" in Italian, by the way.

The blond lady loves me to go rough with her. She's all rawr and I am all "Oh yes babe, I'll fist you right now~" Then I punch her to death. Again.

It's not important the beard you have on your face. But the one you have on your heart. [Random quote from Dexter's Lab I don't even know if it's correct]

I don't even browse 4chan. I just like how lel sounds. I though it was kinda OBVIOUS that you also have to "aim" the block and not just hit the button, otherwise the system would be even worse than it is. There's no chambering, no feints, no swing-related parry and if you think that IRL holding something in a generic parrying position will block any front-coming attack, well, good luck. Did 3 years of fencing, I know what I'm talking about. The melee system of M&B IS, and you can read it around too, way more in-depth than Chivalry's one. Chivalry's fun. Go in, cut trough people with a 2hander, having jusy to worry about swinging at the right direction. If I want a real duel I go on M&B. P.s. Noone but newbies use the stone hammer. And noone by newbies try to parry a downing hammer. End of OT. IT. A system like that would be terrible on the engine DayZ runs on. Laggy and unreliable.

Meh. I know the map from playing especially Benny's Warfare. Which leads to some interesting stuff, like, stumblimg into the military base at the center of the map (sorta, was east of Stary if I remember correctly). But you should feel free to play the way you see more fitting. Map or not.

The US army. To kill targets behind cover.

Sniper rifles? No thanks. I prefer dying in a thrilling CQC firefight than killing a bambi 1km away, giving him no chance even to see me.

That's why it's called standalone. Duh.

Player. For now. English isn't my native language either, even if I have a C1 certificate. I think it's going to be interesting

I. Wanna join. Where do I throw my money at?

Wait and vomit. Really.

... Because on M&B you parry hits from every side? Lel.

I clearly played both.Timing the parry is damn easy. Parrying with a sword (not a shield) on M&B requires timing and coordination. Shields are for pussies who cannot duel with a real weapon. And get promptly smacked by a morningstar. Enter a duel server, then tell me.

Bollocks. On Chivalry you just have to press rmb to block. Mount and Blade has the best melee system available, imho. Needs skills. Spamming will only get you killed.

I use the grey helmet when I move in town. Possibly paired with a gas mask. It deceives the sight pretty well while peaking from corners.

My very first one was literally walking around, coming RIGHT BEHIND a sniper camped at the Balota hill, hatchet applied to head. Nothing special. I'll go with my second one. Shortly after the sniper killing, I was geared up with a mosin, bipod, pristine scope, lots of food and ammos. Was a nice shot. A friend of mine reaches me, he has nothing at all as he just died. I hand him the FNX I found on the dude and we decide "Well, you go loot the airfield, I'll cover you." No more than 5 seconds later 2 armed guys pop in from the trees, at the side, zooming towards the tower. We wait them to get in and then my friend dashes towards it, waiting under the ladder. They finally appear, get my aim on the head of one of them: was literally the first time I fired the mosin, the shot missed by nothing. They duck and hide for a while, till the guy I missed peaks out to check (1p only server). A 7.62 right trough his skull, dead. We wait 2-3 minutes, the second dude seems to be disappeared. My friend starts climbing the ladder and, half a moment later, the guy rushes out, m4 in hand and takes aim on my friend. I get a shot on him, make him bleed and scare him off, as he doesn't fire and rushes back inside. My friend is up, hiding behind the blue closets. The other guy comes out, firefight ensues, friend wounded. The guy gets cocky, moves a bit and offers me his head. That night, the tale of the Demon of Razgriz and his Sardinian friend echoed trough the halls of the teamspeak, he got selected as Designated Marksman and his friend as Incursor. Now, out team counts a DM, an Incursor, a Medic, a "Oh god I'm lost help", a Sputnik (Due to him touching a river and flying into orbiy for reasons) and the Special Needs Guy.

Status update.

Magpul modifications for the m4 give you a SIGNIFICANT improvement in accuracy. Same for the bipod.

Untreated holes bring infections. Simple as.

Aliens.

Speculate on the next update. Not on what you WANT to get added, but what you THINK will be added. Or fixed.

I ttae vitamines regularly. About a pill every hour. Not sure why, I just like to act like my life had a value in game and I want to protect it the best I can. And, yes. Ponds can make you sick.

Shot 2 guys having a bambi handcuffed, left him part of the loot, ran away before he could struggle out, get the remaining m4 and shoot me. It felt great to me.

You are actually funny to read. The good way.