I second this. I'd uninstall + reinstall Arma2 and then start all over with DayZ Commander. Just make sure you're up to date on the DayZ mod files & have at least Arma2 beta patch 95883.
You don't skip night in real life. Everyone in the world isn't carrying a melee weapon with them at all times. The fact that you get bandages and painkillers should be enough....
I haven't had any problems when crouching around town, but I do occasionally get a zed spotting me from 100-200m away when I'm out in the middle of nowhere.
I'd suggest that you read the beginner's guide: http://dayzwiki.com/wiki/index.php?title=A_Beginners_Guide Starting with nothing may seem crazy but it eliminates the starting area violence between newcomers. Eventually you'll figure out where the high yield barns are so you can get equipped quite fast.
While I will agree that hackers in this game do more damage than in others, I won't say the game is ruined. I've put many hours into DayZ and have only ran into 1 hacker, which prompted me to immediately switch servers.