TSGN7

Some of you may have read my post condemning my death at the hands of KOS-in that post, I swore to renounce my morality and become a sadistic, sinister reaver of the wastes. This is what DayZ is like in the mind of a newly coronated Bandit of the High Plains: Note; the content in this post is intended as a satire. The writer is not a violent sociopath-he is merely a cannibal. Enjoy >:) Day The First: Today was the first day in my blood filled rampage throughout the wastes of Chernarus, so in the mood of violence I opted to clothe myself in a truly dastardly and nefarious manner. I strode across to the opening Kamyshovo spawn I inhabited, and donned a Rider's jacket, plus a bandanna facemask to truly encompass the generic look of a vagabond such as myself. Arming myself with a Woodcutter's Axe and some wire rope to capture witless freshies with, I set off upon my hunt for prey in my reversed role of Hero Slayer. As I strode most nefariously upon Elektro, I found my first kill-a freshie attempting to open a can of peaches. Idiot. Peaches are meant for ramming into one's eyes, not consumption! I rushed this most foolish of fellows and promptly tied him with the wire I had discovered. Having captured this rat, I set about searching his pockets-naturally he was a freshie, so all I could steal whilst twirling my handlebar 'stache was his flashlight. Being a brand new freshie to DayZ, he kept enquiring about who I was, and commenting upon how "cool" I was as his first captor. This was quickly silenced with a punch to his gut. After a good hour of forcing him to run, sit, run into the water nearby, and playing Catch the Rock, I eventually decided that his torment must be complete in order to welcome him into the world of DayZ. To facilitate this, I continuously breathed into my mic with chat enabled to convince him I was some lunatic in his mom's basement. This being a lie naturally- I am a sociopath in my sister's attic, there's a clear difference. Anyways, I quickly found the tools I required-a burlap sack and a lead pipe. I placed the bag upon his head, and proceeded to break his leg-however, death in DayZ is far too kind. I left him there, on the side of the ocean in DayZ with a broken leg, tied with wire, and blinded by a burlap sack. It was fantastic-evil is quite hilarious and a good deal more possible than playing Hero and getting teabagged vicariously by Chad Chennington and his prepubescent lackeys. To all heroes in the land of Chernarus, there is a new psychopathic master of dastardly deeds in town. His name is Minigo Fantoya-and he challenges you to discover him End of Chapter

You know why this is so funny good sir? The server I just got shot on has three people; me, my buddy, and the jerk who shot me. In all of the game map, with THREE people, I STILL ran into a sniper and got shot -_- Someone is most certainly out to get me, I'm not paranoid I swear XD

The amount of buzz this topic hath gained is quite intriguing-personally, I get that DayZ must be violent and filled with slaughter, it's something you expect when you throw down 35 bucks to play it. However friends, in the past 24 hours I've been shot dead for ZERO reason and been forced to restart! Just a couple minutes ago, I was shot in the back of the head by a sniper looking for entertainment. It sucks! Dying in a firefight you started or some other guy started, when you're defending yourself from a bandit, that's quite alright. But three times I've been killed for ZERO. REASON. Do I get that KOS is a reality of the game? I do. I might just be bitching, but honestly my opinion on me sounding like a bitch isn't resonating with me now. KOS for no reason SUCKS, and for the former good guys like me who have to KOS other guys just to stay safe (which I apparently can't do either way, frankly I've either been sucking or cheapshotted atrociously), it doubly sucks. Excuse the rant-it helps cool one's nerves after a third restart with good progress in 24 hours.

UPDATE: I was killed on sight when I tried to open a can of food- I am now a bandit-if I see you, you die-to hell with being the nice guy

Commence Rant: Don't you just love it when you help out someone in DayZ; give them food, a gun, ammo, and send them on their way, just for two kids who shouldn't even be playing DayZ to KOS you from behind and ruin a good day and a half of scavving Seriously; I might go Bandit, I'm losing my faith in the DayZ community. Sadly, instead of helping you down the line, I may shoot you just to ensure my own safety-too many times does a good soul in DayZ get a bullet to the brain from KOS'ing jerks. For the newer guys reading this; shoot on sight. These days, you have to just to get by. Rant Over