Hetstaine

I was off my guts on morphine and painkillers, living in the forest can really send you quite frigging loopy, so anyway i was starving and had a serious case of the dry horrors. I decided to skull all of my coke but that just made me thirstier so i axed a pig and drank straight from its jugular, being hungry as a 15 year old after twelve bucket bongs i mistook my bandages for bacon and tried to eat them and lay choking on the ground. Then out of the corner of my eye i saw this vision of beauty..a female survivor..at last ! I jumped up all crazy eyed and said HMPGFHGF LLLLDDGTTT ZZZZ MMMMYYUHGGT!! I saw her reach for her gun and quickly poked the bandages down my throat with a lit flare so i could speak properly ! She was having none of it (my hands may have been raised in the direction of her breasts..it is all a bit fuzzy.) and drilled me in the forehead with her ak. The last i saw was her going through my bag... my sweet.

I saw a Jihadi once..well..bits and pieces of him. So you sayin' i can't even wear my mickey mouse jocks on my as50 ? How else am i going to hide the barrel length ?? You extremist types always gotta go that one step too far..

Which is clearly 99% of any pie chart ..and i just could not slice 5 more pieces into that one % ..it is also the reason you never see that on any other pie charts. Jesus. He fucks shit up.

Beanz for your girl..thats some pretty cool shit..ummm cake :beans: :thumbsup: B)

Found one legit set in four months. Northern most barracks, didn't even loot it..walked in and helloooo bayyyyyyby!

My panties are twisted and i only read the first 6 posts.

So there i am running down from Berezino with an akm to meet my mate near Prig, we were going to go old skool and venture up to the airfield. Jogging along South west of Dolina in the niddle of the forest, wondering if i should have drink or not and what the possibilities of finding some nvg's at the field were a fucking shot rings out, dmr i think..i actually shit bricks, ran like a madman , dodging , running around trees, full panick mode. All i had was an akm and two mags, couple more shots , more dodging, i turn and do a spray and pray on full auto, turn and run again. His bullets are close cracking by me and some i see kciking up dust in front and beside me. My dude is panting and breathing hard.Panick icon up. My hands were solid and i am doing ok dodging but i was still freaking out, i dodged around and saw a dirt road, the ground dropping on the other side ,ran over it and down behind some more trees , more dmr shots, more spray and pray, i'm bleeding like a bitch, screen graying out. I run a half loop around some trees and dive under a clump of three big firs. Just when i think of bandaging i hear footsteps and a voice over direct saying " DON'T FUCKING MOVE IF YOU WANT TO LIVE! DONT FUCKING MOVE !" So now my hands are shaking..fucking adrenaline man ! '"What are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere !? " I tell him i am running down to meet a mate and i need to bandage..real bad. Screen is grey , dude is pumping and shaking. He bandages me and gives me a blood pack, i see he has been poppin' at me with an m14. He is a bit skittery because i still have my akm out when i stand up. Always standing off to the side of me. We chat a bit and he goes.." woah, so is that the hero skin ? " i tell him yes it is, he says he can never quite get it , then as we are deciding thatwe are going to team up and go meet my mate a bunch of silenced shots breaks out through the trees beside us. M14 guy pops away as i run around the trees to flank and sure enough M14 guy has nailed him. Dude called Ryan, urban turban, is laying dead on the ground. M4a1ccosd , heap of stanag sd and a patrol pack, i call hacker. Teleported on us and shot like a noob ( or me when i was panicking :D ) Old mate says more than likely and then to confirm it i see a ghillie appear about fifteen feet away , before i even get to shoot i am hit and on the ground. Last thing i hear is m14 guy saying " you want some of this pal ! you want some !! " and then i am dead. Well unfortunately he didn't get him the second time as i spawned at Solnichniy, ran up to our bodies , guestimated my scared run and reran my panicky footsteps then smack bang ran into the flies. Three bodies, me, the hacker and old mate with his m14. I didn't check his name which i am annoyed at as i would have liked to have known who the dude was that made me shit bricks but then bandaged and blooded me in the middle of nowhere. When i checked my body i know also had a laser designator and a heap of other stuff i had never had so wtf with that. I probably should have hidden them all but i just marked them on the map so maybe old mate could come and get his gear then logged. M14 guy, if you read this , thanks for the scare and cheers for the fixup :) Pity we never got to hook up and run together.

De Niro skin..needed :) Yeah there was no call out or anything, maybe i ran to close to him and never saw him, maybe he thought i was gunning for him , chasing him.. don't know. Once he calmed down he was ok but he was definitely keyed up when he had me cornered. If a bowel movement option would have been in game then i would have left one for him to slip in when that M14 shattered the silence :D

I'm about the same, fuck around like an old duck screwing with it. Nobody in our group actually likes it much, even though we do a lot of night server action. I can see the advantage, obviously, but it just doesn't fit with my approach to the game i suppose.

Nice chap, the type you need in an apocalypse , see you around Chernarus in the future Angel :thumbsup:

finally someone mentioned the straw.

You can make it across swimming , even ay noght, and still have enough time to score a heatpack at Kamyshovo. Bonus item is that there are fuel tanks at Kamy plus you can get a fuel drum at the warehouse.

I really hate the whole tonnes and ton thing. As the so called dominate species you wouldn't think we could be so hopelessly inane. Ton and tonnes is the 'thing' that shits me like the grammar nazis and their whole your you're thing when they want to be grammatically correct. ..fucking internet , bet you they did not care before the late 90's about that, but anyway. The your you're thing at least makes sense ..the ton tonne thing just pisses me off :) I mean the ton/tonne changed halfway through my schooling and ton was already imbedded in my skull..you just cannot go..'oh no it is Tonne now, not Ton' I mean look at the wiki entry of it..what a mess... So what the fuck really is a ton or a tonne? A barrel that holds 800-1000l , which may or may not be 1600 or 2000lbs...or 2240lbs. Or 1000kg. Which is 2000lbs, apparently. Which in the US is 907kgs. And Canada. Let me sum it up by quoting the source itself where confusion is possible.

At the op..what Derpy said. Broken fucking record. I don't want to come across like a wanker reply but..you are going to constantly lose your shit to everything you posted about. Hacking will not be majorly slowed down until alpha standalone. ( we are praying ) There is a ton of threads explaining why, but basically it breaks down to the following - The base game the mod is drawn from is open to scripting to give it flexibility and a million different things that games like the bf and cod and a hundred other like minded fps'ers do not bring to the party, this open ended game design has proved to be the best part and also the biggest 'flaw' in the fact that it is so flexible but due to the fact that it has now drawn such a huge audience it shows how people can manipulate that to their own ends.Which normally instead of magnificance and intelligence has ended up with basic crap like teleporting, unlimited equipment and godmode boringness..when so many cool things could be done they only use the lowest levels of iq. Inane but true. Achilles heel. The mod will not address these current script issues, slightly yes but overall, no. So it is persist and take it, laugh it off..or crack the shits and move on. Once you realise that it is what it is, that you may have to change your game play a bit then you may still find some fun within. Stolen items are par for the course and just pixels to be gained again, the worst thing is even worrying about letting the script merchants getting the better of you mate :) Get a mak and an axe and roll with it and enjoy, hoarding and being max kitted out can get boring a lot more quickly than running along with another random unkitted guy towards Stary and wondering if you are going to get beans at the shop because you are super hungry like you just ate chinese food ten minutes ago.

Adds bodily functions to 1.7.4 patch... ..barb wire still functional.

what?

Well basically you can spell porn with prion and partially onion..so i am down with that shit. The best part is that when talking about prions you can throw around shit like transmissable spongiform and reverse transcription.

Saints Row..now there is a fucking hilarious game, i seriously had tears running down my cheeks from laughter when i first played it..fuck.

Me and my partner have always thought full 70's porn when we see his pic :) what, that Rocket plays accordion or that he hangs out in the bush and plays accordion ?

I will do overwatch...i have an axe.

Anything to do with economy or trading needs to be set up by the players and not a forced 'feature' within the game.

I have always thought with those sunnies that Rocket was more made for '70s porn or a cheesy b grade cop v baddies type movie..with porn.

Holy fuck eh.

We were teleported twice just two nights ago :)