Hetstaine

I wouldn't throw away a desk just because it had one scratch in it.

Everyone i meet shoots me in the forehead. The only friendly i met so far missed.

There is zombies ? ..wtf...

Spawns in kamenka..meets two new spawns..grabs hatchet, kills zeds..finds mak..passes on mak to closest standard survivor stance hands by side dude, doesn't shoot at him..longest run on sentence ever..over direct asks if both are cool..reply is yes..cranks some metal over direct and puts mic into headphone..all three run up to Zeleno. Hit the shops, beanz, coke, leroy, alice . coyotes..sweet. Green mountain..zed death..phobia..suspense..dirt trail..sun going down..sunlit and shadowed fir trees..dead soldiers. Someone says atmosphere..jesus..got it in spades. We continue on slowly and hit a few stands, two covering one climbing, keeping it real. M14, 1 mag.. we assign him to overwatch . Split the road and head direct for NW field , action, death, 50 pop server, lets do that shit. Up past the barn, dodge the zeds, consolidate. Barracks not five minutes away. We look up at the wall and decide to log for the night..not a lot of action ..but lots of immersion. Dayz. Fukn giddyup.

I am down with zipties, ziptie someone to a street lamp in the night..walk away five metres and shoot. Watch.

Conker, got it :thumbsup:

I am so tits deep in snow that my beard is snapping every time i scratch my chin, repairing two front tires on a uaz in blizzard conditions so cold even the penguins have called it quits. A call out over side channel comes up...'hello out all survivors there ..we are at Wally's Gun Store. We are open for trading".. Zeuses frozen dick beard! i say and load up the parts and board my trusty steed along side my buddy Hay Bail Harry. Wally types over again "come on down the.. price is right. Give fair warning as we are 5 deep and will shoot on sight ". I think to myself ..what do I have to trade.. Harry ? Will they accept people ? naw thats fecked, but for a new rifle in Namalsk? i can do that...can i ? We approach in the UAZ and they advise up to drop all weapons outside, if not hill snipers will take us out. We comply and go down the ladder to see a pile of ak's and other mil weapons smothered together in the elevator shaft. Not bad i say.. may i ? They allow me to arm myself but as Harry approaches we hear ' Leave them alone big fella...". Harry is like "whoa guys ..i thought this was legit " they tell us that i must do runs with my truck to fill their supply or Harry is a dead goat. Give me a map and i'm in like Flynn i say. Bloat hands me a map and i'm up the ladder and on to rum running, they call a cease fire. Outside the shop i see 5 guys in line , ready to head downstairs and gun up. They stare at me like a piece of meat as i walk by with an M4 iron sights..i hop in my rig and spit snow in their faces. I barrel north side channeling old hare asking if he has been killed yet ,he replies 'nah i'm all good, they're feeding me beanz and sards..'. Snapping another piece of my beard off i am happy he is warm and well fed, half a can of juice loaded in my old girl and no food. I spit my rig sideways across the land bridge and approach the hospital, shoot out the windows and start slam racking supplies into the truck. I turn around and glimpse a fresh bandit spawn carrying a mak, he walks up behind me stepping between the the truck and myself. He moves closer to the truck just as i am telling him not to do anything stupid or i will beard stab him. He bolts for the truck and in under 5 seconds he is all over the road like a madwomans breakfast. I leave his drilled body and head South across the railroad bridge, the truck spinning and sliding like an icecube on a roller rink, turn onto a dirt road and approach Wallys. I tell them i am here, jump down the ladder and dump a weeks worth of medical on the ground. Wally voice booms out. " I'm impressed ..you and Harry are hired " a bond has been forged, we have become beard brothers. I tell Harry to load up and then we are off to grab some more gear.. Harry and i complete two more runs unscathed and are feeling pretty good, but in the back of my mind i know we are due. Rum runner drivers always get the bad end of the deal. We cross Tara bridge on the south end looking to leg it in for one last run and call this mad lifestyle quits ...when the Slenderman strikes. A sniper round from the southern mountain side zips into the front tire and i slam old trusty out of control into the guardrail and we are stalled, mid bridge... 200 ft off the ground. Harry panics and says " We have to fix the goddam tyre ! We have to get off this bridge of death !!" before i can say anything he has opened the door and plummeted into open space. I watch his descent to the depths as he says "shit I fell !! " now its me, my trusty truck , the bridge... and Slenderman. I bail out taking cover behind my broken rum running rig. Shots begin to zip the tracks next to me , pushing my luck i crouch and look through my rigs windows and locate the Slenderman... hill bound and running down towards the tracks to finish me. My sweetly polished M4 is frozen in my hands and i snap off another chunk of beard so i can pull it tightly into my shoulder. Slenderman pours onto the tracks and starts crouch running.. checking his scope on me. I lean out and fire three rounds.. striking him in the torso and he falls to the tracks. Thinking this nightmare is over i begin to repair the tyre and suddenly go into shock, bullets bounce around me ..Slenderman is down but not out. I slow motion turn like Chuck , my beard scratching against my puffed chest and let loose my full magazine, bullets stitch a line towards him and then crawl up his body like fireworks mixed with tomatoes, i pass out as he falls to the ground obliterated. Waking up i bandage like a demon and notice i am at 400 blood , all good, I have to make it back, i jump in and fire up old trusty and start to head out and off the bridge, suddenly i pass out at the wheel and watch myself launch over the side into the chasm above Harry...fated to be joined in death. A mangled body , it's legs on his chin and a brief explosion is the last thing i see. Steak is dead.

Yeh sorry that was my copy and paste from the Hetsteak page, i dont see it because i changed the page theme (bottom left) to ip board..only 952% better than the black deal.

Back from vacation :) Time to catch up with you fools and the Chernarus happenings. Did you all save me any trannies or has Steak been taking them into the woods for himself as per usual ?

Full armoured war horses and ladies in waiting. And spit buckets.

You dont say :D i just chucked some brown coloured icing on top. Dont eat it though.

You just gave me some visions.....nevermind :D

Out of interest who would you prefer at the helm ? Well comparing a game with a (imo) fictionally written piece of material is possibly a good call. They are both forms of entertainment that have provided much anger and happiness as well as rewarded us with stories and even movies. Of course one of them has had a lot of time to become much more well established ;) I like Rockets attitude and his no bullshit approach. Like he has said more than enough times, if he drives it into the ground it will be his fault and nobody else's. I can fucking respect that. Everyone has their own idea of a game , not many get up and do it but plenty whine and cheese about games yet still shell out when the next overhyped pos comes along.

The ban hammer swings faster than you can script a chicken leg.

Dude..i have been meaning to ask..is that a bandit chef potato ? Or just a rock all dressed up with nothing to cook ?

I love's me some Rocket, but don't get your panties all bunched ;)

Derpy knows his bus drivers, i think we have a canditate :D The tales roll off your tongue meltingly, like an iceream in the middle of a hot road. 4 minutes..dude.. i am impressed.

Hey Derps , long time no hooves :) Tonguing to get back into the action tonight ! Gonna throw myself a tin can party and fat out on beanz and goats like its 1999 !

Indeed he is. Who doesn't ? Anyone in Cherno was a bit of a workshop anthem back in June. I change my email sig on a daily basis ( when i remember) most i imagine have no idea what they mean..Rusty hatchet boss/ Morphine carrying rock jumper/ I can carry three tyres and two windshields,,can you?/ FPS doug is my hero..but my hero is much snappier looking.. etc.

So two ran for the hills ? Were you driving..? Those poor poor fools.

Broseph..i am lost for words in this moment of return, the musty i taped on my pc looks worse for wear after a hardcore week of loneliness..

I have had the same all the way through the mod until recently, then again my internet was a wooden spoon with some copper wire bound around it and thrown on the roof, since upgrading to more alcohol i find i can run four commanders at once. Seriously though, naked dancing always works, to reach the full potential you will need a live chicken though.

Shotgun the bars.

Be careful of the watchers who watch those that watch, and cheers, limbo was ..worrying.

Why would he ? You made him feel like a dick :) Wheres the joy man ? If he acted like a knobend then fair game..being a bandit does not mean shooting for shootings sake..or does it ? Play your way of course :) Thing is..you more than likely put him into the kos mindset now, or you are at least tipping the scales. I like his zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz approach, that would have been exactly my reply.