Shrub Rocketeer ™

we was chatting in the piano house after the gunfight what happened with some bandits, we never started nothing we was just looking for a can opener and then we heard shot coming in the windows and I was bleeding a lot, we hided in the room up stairs behind the cuboard and we shouted 'WE HAVE NO GUNS AND WE ARE NOT BANDITS WE JST NEED TO OPEN THE FOOD' and the shooting stops. machete master told me to put my hands up like a prisoner so I tried but I forgot the button and I was sitting down and 2 bandits came up the stairs machete master was laughing and says 'friendly friendly my friend he is bleeding' and the bandits say ok we thought you were other people but we are sorry now can we halp you 2 guys? I say yes we need a can opener but they say they have only one left but we can use a machete. machete master takes the machete and opens some peaches and sardines and I make a bandage from my new blue shirt and I nearly die because there is no colour I was still scared from the bandits but machete was talking like they were lod friends I ask if they can help us to find a can opener and they say we don't need because so many ways to open food now but I don't agree because the machete wasted 34% of my sardines but they laughed and said wait until then new patch then you can eat meat without worry, I am not so sure then the server restart happens and I tell machete master I am going for a piss and he says him too and after we are back in teamspeak and find a new server but when we join we have to wait 99SECONDS!!!! WTF machete master said this happens to stop combat logging but I never combat log EVER IN MY LIFE and still I get punish, machete master laughed and said go and get a coke so I did but whae I was back the screen was black and 'please wait....' was in the middle of the screen but machete master was in the game and he said he could see me I waited about 3 minutes and it was still black screen and 'please wait' so I said I will try again and log but machete said don't because they will think you are server hopping even if you come back to the same one and punish you again with 240 SECONDS!!! why???? I never cheated and I waited 6 minutes sometimes I press 'esc' and then I see very fast the house where I am but it goes black agaon after 0.001 seconds so I am still 'oplease wait....' I decide I want to stop dayz now because I cant play like this my friend was waiting for me and then in teamspeak he said in a sad voice 'I was killed'

I didn't make any timings I just was playing then the server restarts and I find another one but I get 99 second punish what I accept but after this I ahd to 'please wait....' for more time than the punish how can I make better timing to stop this happen again and now we are both die machete master is offline and I am on the beach alone but I DIDNT DOO NOTHING WRONG

I don't have problem with the timer, I can see the numbers going down and it is ok I count with them or I try to get some chocolate before it finishes but the 'please wait....' is no timer it was more than the 99 seconds maybe 300 seconds and nothing happened ITS NOT THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS!!! machete master was seeing me and garding my character but someone killed us

yas I agree I hate cheaters and I respect whaen they try to stop this but please leave me alone I am just want to play my game with my friend now we are dead because the time system FAILED!!! if I log out and then I try to come back to the same server I am not combat logging or ghosting or cheating I am coming back from the toilet!!!!

I was kill like this one time, I never had no things and he shot me and was laugh say 'HAHAHAHA you noob I killed you you suck why don't you quit game and you mamma is suck my dick' I dont mind because my mother is die long time and I having no gear for losing I think they do this because is thesafe way to get some win what most of us get from do the real pvp vs real guns, they are loser and in the real life they never have girls or friends or maybe small penis LOL

I was find the sticks so I put them in my backpack because I thinking they is be useful and when my frend got disconnect I go to the house and find the matches so I think I can make a fire XD but I cant do it!!! I put sticks on road and put matches in my hand and trying everything to make the fire but I cant find the right way to make fire happen maybe my matches are wet from the rain and then I remember I was in the pond for drink the water yesterday LOL maybe I put matches inside the pond in my trouser pocket what a noob so how I dry the matches if I don't have the fire for drying them?

I was run round the big town in the north when I saw this kid and the zed, he was try to kill with his spade but the zed was win so I thought Ihelp him with my axe, so I run start hitting the zombie but this kid start hitting me so I was think fuck this and I smashmy axe into his skull and he was died, that was funny but after he died he started shouting insult like 'you motherfucker I will kill you asshole why you don't come to the beach and i kill you you asshole' I was laugh so hard because he sound like the 9 years old LOL, I love the kid what shout and when they do some rage for me it makes me so happy when I try to help and he started being a asshole and after he losing fight and then HE RAGE AT ME???? hahahaha what give for you you most satisfaction in dayz like 9 years old kid rage makes me feel? awesome.

I like to help sometimes like yesterday I help Machete Master after some guy shot him we had no bandage so I said 'YOU CHECK ATC QUICK RUN I CHECK HANGARS...GO FAST BEFORE YOU DIE' and I was ran to the hangars..... nothing there but then I remember was some m4 bandit clan in the end building 5 minute before who don't shoot and were frend so I opened the mic and said 'hey hello hello I am the frendly guy I need the bandage' after 10 seconds my frends comingoutside, they were angry because they told me to go away before it was dangerous but I explain someone shoot my friend machete master and we have no bandage so the one with black clothes pt 75% bandage on the floor and I ran so fast to my friend. 'HERE IS SOME BANDAGES' and he taking them up he said thankyou you saved my life, I said NO it was these guys follow me, we ran to the end building and I said here is my frend what you saved and machete master say thankyou and they say no problem but please go because here is not safe foer guys with no guns LOL that was satisfy but not like killing 9 years old rage kids

hahaha I was trying but I didn't even have the rags NOOB!!! I had rags for bandages but I didn't try to make the fire with them now I know I need rags I will try now ty

you both WRONG!!! machete master know the colour because I put the backpack down for him to give me the food to open and after I realise my tool wont open the food I put again the backpack for him to try so he saw it many many times and he said it was a nice condition