Death By Crowbar

This sounds really really tough. If you give it a shot and can edit a documentary of it I'd watch, seems like it could be amusing enough. I don't think I'd have the motivation to try it though... even on a high pop server you should have success in avoiding human contact if you go to the right places.

Omg I just saw this and spit out my drink... yeah, I guess it does! LOL

I agree. I still hold this as a gold standard on how it's done...

Learn the types of buildings that have loot. Google and review what the following look like and where they are. Randomly running into every building you see is not only a crap shoot (most buildings have nothing but rotten fruit or hats) and not the quickest way to gear up. Learn to zero in on the reliable locations, the ones that nearly always have loot, which are: Police Stations (usually guns and ammo) Fire Stations (guns, ammo, and fire ax spawn location!) Police car trunks (usually ammo) Corner buildings in city blocks where guns almost always spawn on 2nd floor in the bedroom Grocery Stores or Markets The house with a grand piano (usually weapons or guns there) Airfield and military locations

I know I can't write that much in a second language and do so in a manner which everyone can make sense out of it. Assuming his second language is something else (such as Russian) kudos on the effort. I too carry silly notes on myself hoping that if I'm killed someone might find it and laugh.

It's a bug. It could benefit from votes in the bug tracker so it gets priority! Happened to me twice over the past 2 nights. Every time you go up stairs, especially in fire stations, know that there's a risk your legs will randomly break and/or you'll randomly die with no warning. You did nothing wrong, this is one of those early access alpha things to know about - log/vote the issue and to be safe avoid buildings with known stairs that cause it. The aircraft control towers and fire stations seem especially vulnerable, possibly due to the steepness of their stairs. As a safety precaution you can go up the ladder in both of those buildings to either get the loot directly or see if there's any loot worth the risk of using the stairs.

I'm a lone wolf 99% of the time. The few times I've met friendlies have been great, but often (maybe 80% of the time) I can't play with a mic and it's very VERY hard to make friends without one. Thus like OP, I wander the lonely road but I try to keep it interesting. Here's some of the ways I've found to terrorize Chernarus. I'll chop down random trees across the road. I'll leave random stuff in the road. I like to do this with books a lot. Sometimes I'll make a random pile of books where they make no sense to be. I'll open doors of every building in a town and not loot a thing (making it look as if it had been picked clean). I'll loot entire towns and leave everything in the middle of the most main looking street in one giant pile. I'll leave interesting notes lying around with anything from knock knock jokes to song lyrics, to "for a good time call xxx-xxx-xxxx" I'll bring spray paint with me and paint all axes, helmets, and guns I find then put them back. I'll leave random flares and run off. I'll take extra ammo and one bullet at a time write things or draw dongs in the middle of the road somewhere in Berezino. I'll gather up all the zombies I can find and have them follow me into a building with well known/sought spawns and then camp out upstairs so the downstairs is loaded with a dozen or so zombies. I'll make splints and randomly put them on top of high places (pick them up BEFORE you fall!). I'll take off all my gear and leave it in some random easy to find place where I KNOW someone will find it and go gear up again. Merry Christmas and happy confusion! This is even funnier if I let some zombies whack me first so everything is ruined, then it's not Christmas but more like April fools! I'll whisper into my mic when people are near and make myself sound as if there's a whole squad. This is fun when doing against actual squads and seeing how they react. I'll pretend my leg is broken and crawl along the road, and when someone comes to help I'll stand up and run away screaming. I've tried jumping off water towers onto people below. If I die I'll blame them on my mic for not catching me. I'll approach someone with my flashlight drawn and tell them to stick em up, which they usually do. Thankfully the animation is the same as holding a handgun, it's hilarious how few players notice the difference. I've found someone AFK before in a room, and knocked them unconscious and removed all their gear, then left and shut the door. When they come to they're naked up they have all of their gear and need to spend time picking up each individual item again.There are a million and one things I've found to do in game for amusement as the lone wolf. Not all those who wander are lost...

There's a perfectly good body of salt water if you run far enough... but you might die of dehydration or boredom trying. Devs need to get off their buts and provide a way to desalinate water so the tree huggers can get pushed further north where they belong, like the wildlings north of The Wall in Westeros.

I intentionally chop down bushes and trees across roads as I travel, and I shoot tree huggers on sight! I'll bet tree huggers get their hydration from ponds rather than Pipsi, and would rather eat meat from animals they kill or fish than a healthy can of tactical bacon. Embrace progress, take up your axes and clear all the trees so there's nowhere for tree huggers to hide!

Shvantz!

This is all the same incident FYI. Worst: Shot at a random guy running down the road. Hit his leg with that shot and broke it. He started screaming about why am I shooting at fresh spawns??? Best: In a completely "human" moment I felt bad and apologized and attempted to bandage and splint him. I had an SKS in hands and Mosin on my back. While splinting him and making small talk I realized in horror that I'd dropped my SKS in order to splint him and he'd grabbed my gun. He pumped me full of all 10 rounds that were in my SKS, killed me dead as a door nob. I suppose I deserved it, and I also learned a valuable lesson about committing to a kill and how "long gun on back and long gun in hands" actually works. Sometimes we learn the hard way... I'm sure that splint was ruined when he looted me, he had a long crawl ahead being sorta between Kamishovo and Elektro, but at least he was alive and got his revenge.

Every time I see a post you make I see your avatar pic and I just keep thinking, "Ya, there's a dog on your balls!" Kick-Ass 2 FTW!

What you just said there shouldn't be and isn't possible. Hardcore and Regular servers are on separate hives and you can't transfer between them (unless some radical change happened recently that I'm completely oblivious of).

Maintenance nights are so tough, I was having a good session! Now over to Reddit to search for change logs or some indication of what's new/changed in this update... and sleep. Zzzz...

It works great on Android too, I often post from my HTC One. There's a well known community and information management problem that everyone is aware of and we probably don't need to open up again. Should all relevant information such as change logs, dev blogs, etc be on the official forums rather than Reddit, especially when the forum community is at least 2x that of the Reddit community? Yes, of course, without question, noone debates that. It just is the way it is and the way it always has been.

This is the place where I like to discuss DayZ and offer beans to those who are worthy.

Never mind, i managed to log roll myself up a ramp somehow and finally log rolled myself off a ledge to my death. Uhhh.... crisis averted, I was barely geared anyway. Thanks though so much!

Omg, what a night... I'm in that shipwreck north of Berezino, fell and broke my leg in one of the rooms with a ramp and a stairs out of it. Can't climb out. I have disinfectant spray but it's ruined, so I have no way to assisted suicide myself. Oh, I'm on Pimpsy's Loot Mania regular server. This is the first time I've ever reach out for help from the Medic community!! I've got an SKS with no ammo, it's about the only thing of value I have, but anyone who helps me is welcome to it for saving me the time it will take to starve to death.

They're still working on a lot of things, you should check the dev blogs. Personally I like chopping down random trees across roads and am still searching for some hand grenades so I can toss them at someone.

I'm announcing my intention to declare war on anyone who is in DayZ. Please contact me with the terms of your surrender. Whatever those terms are, I reject them and offer you a fine pristine set of handcuffs, a burlap sack, some disinfectant spray, and both a worn banana and a badly damaged zucchini (I roughed it up on the last guy, sorry!).

The solution is to attack whoever tells you to stick em up. You'll either die or you'll end up with a shiny new gun... or you can play along, you never know, some folks may check you out and then help you out. It's happened to me before.

You guys should have a flames and rants war so those with popcorn can enjoy and troll.

Great read! ... and a reason why KOS is always justifiable, even when dealing with those who look like Bambis. You never know... I think it takes a lot more balls to play the friendly and that's why fewer and fewer people do it. I like the hero clans that search and destroy "fishermen", "KOSers", "snipers", and "Death Squads".

This is the part where I slowly back out of the room hoping noone saw me... :blush:

I run: i5-3570K Ivy Bridge Quad-Core 3.4GHz (3.8GHz Turbo)GeForce GTX 650 Ti 2GB 128-Bit GDDR5 ... and sometimes I still lag a little in cities. I'll note that when I fire up task manager I'm often surprised by the amount of CPU that's being utilized by DayZ (usually 40%-50% of all 4 cores). When the game gets better optimized and the new engine is more complete I have to imagine more of that processing will get pushed from the CPU into the GPU.