ninjacalypse

As has been pointed out already you're confused about some game mechanics. If you want to report bugs though (encouraged) you should use the feedback tracker to up vote existing issues or report new ones. Otherwise, the devs aren't likely to address a post of random bugs, most of which if not all have been reported already. Http://feedback.dayzgame.com

Well, assuming what you say is true (50 zombies? Pics or it didn't happen) then it could be a bug.You say NOTHING spawns but you found a hatchet and a dead player with stuff. What exactly is your definition of nothing? Have you found any hats, food, backpacks, clothing? DayZ is not supposed to be overflowing with loot. In fact, weapon spawns were recently decreased. Try searching towns away from spawn areas and heavily looted airfields.

Daylight is a crutch. There are plenty of servers that advertise 24/7 day though. If you're having problems finding servers in the browser that match your needs, try searching here using keywords: http://www.gametracker.com/search/dayz/

Actually, I've impersonated the actual zombie sounds from the game to scare off other players, mostly newspawns. I've also told the thin air not to move because we had "him" surrounded and also had snipers in the woodline and have seen players in full milgear run away because they thought there was a group of bandits holding someone up. I've also ran around naked singing the banana boat song. :P You see a lot of things in DayZ.

I hate to break it to you but according to Rocket DayZ zombies are just that, infected humans and not reanimated undead.

Dual wielding shotguns would be ridiculous as already stated. The problem with dual wielding pistols is the game would essentially have to center aim both of the pistols for you and in doing so remove the skill required in aiming a single pistol.

Are you playing on the same network? If so, you may have to change your clientport.

Well, if you know a friend who owns it you could go to their house and play it. Otherwise:

Easy. Item ESP (radar for items) and the ability to teleport items to you.

You don't have to pay for any software: I'm not advocating playing stupid songs in DayZ, but whatever floats your boat.

Well, combat loggers don't seem to be stopping other players from making great videos.

http://forums.dayzgame.com/index.php?/topic/97659-consolidated-weaponsequipment-suggestions/page-37#entry1604338

Official NeedsFoodBadly Seal of Approval! :P

Also, that. ^^

This may sound crazy but...stay with me...because they haven't been implemented yet. Edit: Also, that's a funny sig about your friend being vac-banned because he updated his graphic card. That's a hoot. That's the first time I've heard that excuse. He must be the only person in the world with a Nvidia/ATI graphics card.

It's funny how often someone's first post on the forums is how their friend got banned for no reason.

It sticks in my brain because that happens anytime I'm on a full server.

Let's Play videos for The Dead Linger are more like Let's Not Play, not to even mention that the whole game is an extremely obvious (but hilariously shitty) rip-off of DayZ.

Try this: "Are you a hero or a bandit?" Possible answers: 1. Yes. 2. No. 3. Maybe. 4. *YOU ARE DEAD*

Well...there are certainly a lot of Let's Plays and Live Streams for a game that you claim is "hardly even playable." I'm not sure how many Alphas you've been in and what exactly your definition of "playable" is but DayZ is definitely playable.

I didn't say that's how "everyone did their first kill." I didn't say that's how EVERYONE kills. I just said, "I don't think it's really that special for everyone." There are plenty of people who run around in full milgear killing newspawns. In fact, if there weren't then there wouldn't be a gazillion threads on the forum dedicated to people bitching about that exact scenario. No, my first kill wasn't a newspawn vs. full milgear. My first kill in the SA was some idiot trying to run up and punch me while calling me a "N*****" (I'm not even black but uh...okay) and me killing his ass with a baseball bat, which I would hardly describe as a memorable experience. That's actually a pretty common occurrence on a full server in my experience.

People post, "It's Alpha." when other people: 1. Complain about already well-known issues that have been reported numerous times already, when they could just bump one of the other hundred other topics about the exact same thing. 2. Whine about how they got killed or some bug/game issue is ruining their gameplay. Game development isn't prioritized by whatever thing killed you last and self-entitlement issues due to your epeen being hurt. 3. Don't even know that the feedback tracker exists or just don't bother to use it at all and would rather just pointlessly bitch about stuff. 4. Complain about DayZ not having features from mainstream FPS games (like factions/classes/game modes/killscreens/player stats/etc) and how it's too hard which demonstrates a failed lack of understanding of the concept behind DayZ. DayZ is not a mainstream FPS twitch shooter. It's supposed to be hard...actually harder than it is right now so for anyone who thinks DayZ is too hard now...I don't know what to tell ya. 5. Make largely unintelligible rants comprised mostly of profanity, CAPSLOCK and exclamation points!!!!!!!!! 6. Think millions of dollars should suddenly cut down over a year of projected game development to just a month (because BI can just hire 50 more DayZ programmers/developers in the Czech Republic right?), ignore the fact that there have been 6 updates addressing core gameplay issued in less than a month and don't see why developers shouldn't have weekends and holidays off or do unnecessary things like sleep. 7. (BONUS) Compare DayZ to some other game and say, "Look at this game! It has wing-dang-doodles, it's lemon scented, isn't buggy, doesn't lag and has no haxxors!" Okay...DayZ is not THAT game. DayZ...is DayZ. Gotta love armchair developers.

Um...not really. I don't think it's really that special for everyone. Especially in the standalone, where everyone just rushes to an airfield, grabs a bunch of gear and camps there or just runs back to the coast to kill newspawns in full milgear.

Nope, you need a buddy. Make some friends...OR DIE!!!!

Actually, bicycles have been suggested/requested for the standalone many, many times already. Sidenote: If this is the first time you've heard this song, then you need to set a day aside to do nothing but listen to Queen and Freddie Mercury.