Pallidum

Hi! I've got a Makarov with 3 mags, one set of bandages, a Lee-Enfield with five clips. I also have an ALICE pack with lots of beans, extra makarov mags and blue chem lights. I'm also not playing on one of the PL servers right now, so no home turf advantage. :(

DISCLAIMER: THE BELOW AFTER ACTION REPORT MAY HAVE BEEN SLIGHTLY EMBELISHED FOR PROSE AND MAY OR MAY NOT FULLY ACCURATELY PORTRAY THE EVENTS THAT ACTUALLY TRANSPIRED! "Rusty Trombone, this is Chickenhawk 1." "Chickenhawk 1, this is Rusty Trombone. Go ahead." "Rusty Trombone, Chickenhawk 1 is taking fire from high calibre sniper rifle, location is office building at the docks of Cucumber Grizzly. Magic Postit reports shooter name is Adam." Adam... oh, yes. That was the name of the duder that was spamming the chittersphere with requests for helo parts. Why would he be in Chernogorsk on the office building, shooting with a M107 if he was scavenging for helicopter parts. It didn't make sense... unless... this was one of those nefarious bandits that we've heard about. The evil ones that cowardly camp the roofs of tall buildings to shoot innocent survivors, totally unlike us who heroically camp the roofs of tall building to smite the unbelievers from afar. This needed some immediate action. "Chickenhawk 1, proceed to LZ Secret Hideout That Is Not The Factory North Of Solnichniy to pick up Team Gentlemen Who Are Not Homo," I called out to our helicopter. So, our helicopter was coming to pick us up. I looked over at my men, Operatives Acneface, Bestiality, Madmin, Whiteflag and Whatsisname. Not the brightest bunch, but they'd have to do. Unfortunately. I started conversing with this "Adam", slowly convincing him that I did, indeed have some helicopter parts and would be happy to help him out, and that I was running to get to where he was. The response was immediate, with Adam happily proceeding with his story, believing that he had caught another fly in his web. At the same time, Chickenhawk 1 was picking us up at LZ Secret Hideout That Is Not The Factory North Of Solnichniy. As we were flying towards Chernogorsk, I kept up the chitter conversation with our friend Adam, happily stringing him along, knowing full well that he was busy doing the same to me. It only took a few minutes for our helicopter to drop us off at LZ Definitely Not North Of Vysota, and we quickly split up into fireteams. Operative Bestiality was leading Fireteam Felching into sniping positions in Chernogorsk itself, while I was taking Fireteam Soggy Biscuit to the woods east of our target. Operative Bestiality was the first to reach his assigned location and called out on the net; "Rusty Trombone, this is Felching Actual. I see two tangos, repeat two tangos. Magic Postit indicates tangos are Adam and dkG." Two of them? Well, that makes sense. Those two were actually conversing on the chittersphere. "Copy that, Felching Actual. Proceed as planned." Two targets would definitely not make things much harder, but that was also clear evidence that these two were definitely colluding to lure innocent bystanders to their deaths. I kept moving closer, stopping occasionally to keep up my faux conversation with the bandit Adam, when Operative Bestiality called in again. "Rusty Trombone, this is Felching Actual. Tango two has M107... and a backpack." Uh... what? That wasn't right. Everyone knows that the laws of physics make it impossible to carry an M107 AND a backpack. That must be wrong. "Felching Actual, confirm observation," I called back. "Rusty Trombone, tango two is confirmed to carry M107 and backpack." Devil spawn! That must be it! They must be the spawn of the Unholy Infidel. This proves that we are doing the Almighty Saviours Glorious Deeds. The only ones that could possibly bend the laws of physics to such a way as to carry BOTH a large gun AND a backpack must clearly be colluding with the devil! I swiftly moved Fireteam Soggy Biscuit into position, and ran forward, offering myself as a target, safe in the knowledge that Our Lord and Master Rocket was protecting me with his Holy Gaze. I threw a holy flare in front of me as to better show my righteous glory, then shots rang out from the silence of the night. Like spears thrown from the heavens, the Holy 7.62mm Javelins of Divine Wrath struck down on the demonic spawn, immediately smiting one out of existance. The other devilborn fell, struck down from his perch, but vanished in a cloud of desecrated bile. I stood up, my righteous fluids dripping down my soiled pants, victoriously pumping my 11 year old fist in the air. "TAKE THAT U NOOB CHEAT H4XX0RZ!!!11!1!", I called out in the holy tongue, safe in the knowledge that by our deeds, the Demon Lord would have two less servants dining at his table tonight. Drippingly, Report-Marshal Palli 'Rusty Trombone' Treponema TL;DR: we killed two hackers, Adam and dkG.

That my literary genius is unsurpassed, yet not always universally appreciated. Geniously, Prose-Marshal Palli 'Artistic License' Treponema

PROJECT EUPHORIA REPORT SCP-3052 The MMR serum has proven successful in laboratory experiments. Subject D332 and [REDACTED] have sucessfully produced a male offspring. This is a huge breakthrough. And strangely unsettling. PROJECT EUPHORIA REPORT SCP-3461 The first shipment of MMR has been shipped to [REDACTED]. We currently hold [REDACTED] specimens resulting from testing of the MMR serum. Specimens show accelerated growth. PROJECT EUPHORIA REPORT SCP-3543 Project [REDACTED] reports they're developing MMR further. We're now committed to produce MMR at [REDACTED]. PROJECT EUPHORIA REPORT SCP-3792 Those idiots at Project [REDACTED] have been refining MMR into a weapon! MMR was to be created for humane purposes. We should never have let the military into this. PROJECT EUPHORIA REPORT SCP-3802 OH, dear god! Project Deliverance has killed us all! Someone accidentally breached the containment, and it killed almost all of our staff immediately. The only staff that survived were those injected with MMR, and one of the barbers and the interior decorator. PROJECT EUPHORIA REPORT SCP-3804 I can hear them clawing at the doors! The... the dead... they're not dying... they're turning into these... monsters! Everyone at our lab are dead. The only who survived was Dr Truman and me. We had to call in the military... they died and turned into those monsters. Everyone except for the women. They just died... The only ones left were me and Dr Truman. We tried to hold out, but one of the monsters got Steve. Oh god, it was so awful! Poor Steve. I found a gun in one of the guards' locker. It... it only had two rounds. I had to shoot Steve, he was being eaten alive... I'm so sorry! I think this... the infection... it's worldwide... the only ones who have survived are... no women survived... at all... the only men who survived were... the... maybe the MMR will be our salvation... our shipments went to the airfield in... I'm so sorry... They're almost through the door.. I... I'm... I have one bullet left... going to use it on myself. Please forgive me... Steve... I love you... [RECORD ENDS] Fabulously, Gay-Marshal Palli 'omigod' Treponema

Best way? Go to the Survivors HQ section of the forums. Find a group that sounds reasonable, that has their own forums and voicecomms. Sign up with them, get on their voicecomms and play with them.

First blood has been drawn. Our apologies for starting the war a bit late. We were otherwise occupied in stalking a PC Gamer journalist, and later rescuing our Tech Moons in Distress in the Serious Business Internet Spaceships game EVE Online. Operative Malcore and Operative Pallidum discovered a group of cowardly imposter legion playing on a server with the most lenient of settings, Virginia 16. I arrived at the scene first, brandishing my trusty makarov. Upon reaching Elektro, I found a group of four survivors, one of whoom had a name I believed was one of the Legion, albeit without clan tags. As I'd already spotted other names of Legion members without clan tags, I heroically opened fire, courageously hitting him squarely in the back. He started bleeding, but did not die. Instead, he cowardly started running across the field, drawing the attention of about a dozen zombies towards him and one of his friends. In the meantime, I started firing on his compatriots, wounding one. Unbeknowns to me, a saviour, possibly unaffiliated, decapitated me and proudly exclaimed his victory in the sideband. The Gods of War granted me another chance, however, landing me with a new Makarov near the shores of Otmel. I ran back to Elektro, but operative Malcore had already arrived at the scene. Following my highly inaccurate directions, he managed to spot all three survivors of the original group and quickly dispatched them. I arrived at the scene again, knowing that one of the recently deceased would likely carry weaponry sufficient to continue my glorious quest, upon which we spotted two of the tagged imposter legions. Operative Malcore, carrying the only long ranged weaponry on the field took aim, and rained fire upon the infidels, like a divine power striking down from the skies. Two rounds in the chest, and imposter legion ExpendableOne23 disconnects. Never fear, imposter legion Taylor was swiftly taken down. He should be commended for not disconnecting immediately after taking a bullet through the head. Bloodily, Killing-Marshal Pallidum 'Murderous' Treponema DISCLAIMER: Operative Pallidum did not take the killing shots on the imposter legion. Operative Malcore did, unfortunately out of sight of Operative Pallidum, hence the lack of targets in the screenshots. :( It sadly appears that all the imposter legion members have left Virginia 16. Perhaps they couldn't stomach the thought of war. :(

Dear Evan from PC Gamer, I'm writing this letter to you from the dark forests of Chernarus, to apologize for my nefarious behaviour. It was bad, and I feel really ashamed of myself. I cannot claim responsibility for operative Tinkeng painting the fields north of Elektro with not only your brains, but the brains of all six of your companions (although, admittedly, two of those companions may have been the work of an, as of yet unknown, third party). I do feel a certain guilt for not putting a stop to his hideous act though. I also cannot claim responsibility for operative Tinkeng ventilating your chest near the town of Komarovo. He was sprinting all the way to Komarovo, and our 11 year old legs cannot keep up with a 12 year old's. I feel embarrassed and ashamed at this act by our operative, however. I did try to stop him as he deftly decapitated you on the roof of the school building in Elektrozavodsk though. I gave him the most stern look of disapproval. Unfortunately, stern looks of disapproval do not propagate well through the Internet, not even through the most modern of voicecomms, XBox Live, so I was unable to do much good. By the time he made a hole in your chest the size of a grapefruit north of the town of Kamyshovo, I knew that Operative Tinkeng was beyond salvation. I shall pledge to you, however, to tell my mommy to talk to his mommy so that he gets grounded. Because that's what happens to boys who kill gaming journalists four times in a row. What I can take responsibility for, and do, is by painting the side of the brick house just east of Chernogorsk red with your guts. That was an absolutely horrible act on my behalf, and I do feel the emptiness in my soul from the evil I have committed. The fact that said work of modern art was performed just after you had provided operative Gobbins with a much needed blood transfusion was just despicable. Why should such a humanitarian act of good intentions be met by such an atrocity? From the bottom of my dark, hollow, hate stained heart I offer you my most sincere apologies. The immature childish act I performed was hurt me just as it did you. In fact, shortly after my distasteful act, I was summarily executed by one of your shining guardians of virtue. Let that teach me a lesson in the hard world of Chernarus. With sorrow and regrets, Sad-Marshal Pallidum 'Brokenheart' Treponema

Check the Survivor HQ section of the forums. Or, if you are so inclined, the Bandit Camp.

Yes, how could a leaderboard in a sandbox PVP game possibly work? Linkingly, KB-Marshal Palli 'ISKratio' Treponema

This is a good point. You are certainly entitled to your opinion. I would like to offer a counterpoint though. While Operative Tinkeng certainly was a very bad boy who should feel bad, he did make an attempt of taking out Evan's companions first, so as to prolong his misguided entertainment. You'll have to excuse him as this is the first fun he's had in months in his lonely and hollow life, being a frequent target of bullies at school due to him being highly obese and perpetually unloved. Furthermore, while it is true that it is very difficult to defend against an ambush, especially one perpetrated by a 12 year old stream sniper, it is also true that Evan did have certain means of defending himself, or - at the very least - prevent himself from being as obvious a target. For example, the during the occasion where operative Tinkeng and operative Malcore had Evan pinned down at the school building in Elektro, what Evan and his compatriots did right was to stay indoors, safely in cover, while trying to come up with a plan. What he later did wrong was to climb up on top of the top roof of the schoolbuilding, giving operative Tinkeng a perfect shot. When Evan then regained conciousness, he did not attempt to seek safe cover from operative Tinkeng, despite having witnessed one of his unfortunate guardians taking a 7.62mm through his left eyesocket. Instead, he seemed intent on looting the still warm corpse of his late companion, only to stand up a few seconds later, giving operative Tinkeng another opportunity to further deprave his dark and shallow soul. What Evan and his compatriots SHOULD have done was, when the poor compatriot Robin was deftly executed at the beginning of the battle, to attempt to locate the nefarious pair, operative Tinkeng and operative Malcore, flank the young rascal duo, and eliminate their insidious precense from the fertile lands of southern Chernarus. In fact, some of his compatriots did just that. It may gladden some of the readers to know that operative Tinkeng was deprieved of his life not only once but twice by the stalwart defenders of Evan, causing operative Tinkeng to lose not only many precious items needed for his long term survival, but also a much loved and tenderly cared for Designated Marksman Rifle in the process. I too suffered the indignation of being lethally indisposed by not only once, not twice but thrice by the virtuous paladins of our hero Evan. I'm sure this will cause many of the readers to giggle with glee, and to them I can only say, you're welcome. Decapitated, Dead-Marshal Palli 'Nefarious' Treponema PS: I would like to report that operative Tinkeng has indeed been grounded by his mommy. He will not be allowed to use XBox Live for a full month. I hope he's learned his lesson, just as I have.

Are you using free-flap or do you flap by hotkeys? I've noticed that free-flap is great for accuracy, but using hotkeys will get you a lot more Flaps-Per-Second (FPS), higher response time and lower latency. Soaringly, Flap-Marshal Palli 'Wingspan' Treponema

I, for one, welcome our new bird overlords, Flyingly, Avian-Marshal Palli 'Soaring Eagle' Treponema

Over the course of four hours, he died (IIRC) six times. That's well over average life expectancy in chernarus. To be fair, one of the things Evan did wrong was not streaming. I quite enjoy watching the streams and the fact that streamers tend to attract other survivors and bandits tend to make the streams a lot more exciting than a lone survivor hiking through the woods. Instead, you get white-knighters that group up with the streamer, instantly creating cooperative groups of survivors. You then get bandits hunting these groups, creating conflict and action. As long as the streamer is aware of this, and knows that they WILL get stream sniped, and they WILL die, this only serves to make for a good show. There will be action, drama and heroism, rather than an hour of walking through the woods or searching barns for cans of beans. What Evan did wrong was to be too predictable. He stayed on the beaches, spent too much time looting random buildings for low-level loot, and stayed too much in the open, on roads or on railroad tracks. This let our operatives plan our movements ahead, and sprint towards good locations for ambushes. He also made the mistake of showing us a few times what server he picked. That allowed our operatives to quickly join the same serves to set up ambushes. When he did not show us what server he picked, the lobby screens still gave us a lot of information - for example at one point, he picked a server with 30 people in the lobby. A quick search through the server list gave us about ten different possibilities. Seeing as we had half a dozen operatives standing by on Xbox Live, we were able to very quickly locate his server. Other times, we knew he was on 50-man servers, so all we had to do was to search through the US 50-man servers, disregrading all other servers. The bottom line though, was that Evan did many of the rookie mistakes that a lot of new DayZ players make - he was spending far too much time thinking of where to go next, or what to loot, than thinking of his own survival. At very few points, he were taking proper precautions, namely that of cover and concealment. Still, I guess that if he'd done that, crawling prone through dark forests, carefully watching out for his own survival, the stream would've been a lot more boring. And we really can't have that, now can we? Explainatory, Survival-Marshal Palli 'Hidingbehindtrees' Treponema

I tend to write tongue-in-cheek, with humor as one of the main intents. I try to be entertaining, yet some people seem to take me way too seriously. A word of advice; never take me seriously. Except, of course, when you should. Then do take me seriously. Seriously, Entertainment-Marshal Palli 'SRSBZNZ' Treponema

QFT, Airplanenoises-Marshal Palli 'B-17' Treponema

Fixing the settings on the PL servers are on the list of things to do, but I dare not remind the always overly busy Ander to do this, or he'll madmin all my services access away. :( Fearful, Scared-Marshal Pallidum 'Wimpy' Treponema

The best loot I've ever found was a can of sardines. I was blinky red on food and losing blood rapidly. I saw a barn and decided to chance it. I sprinted inside, drawing zombie aggro, made it inside. Found the sardines and quickly devoured them, then turned around and took out the zombies. When you're in need, your priorities change. :)

I agree with you, but unfortunately effectively all game engines suffer from this, and ARMA2 is not excluded. I've yet to see one game engine that handles this decently.

This is an issue in many games, due to LOD limitations. LOD, or Level Of Detail, makes 3D objects further away less complex, thus easier to render. A tree 5m away will require more detail in order to look like a proper tree, whereas trees 500m away require very little detail. You are also able to see more trees at a longer range due to more trees fitting into your view. Unfortunately, especially in games such as these, grass tend to be one of the victims in LoD optimizations. If you look closely, grass is rendered as a rectangle with a texture on it, parts of which is transparent. In order to make grass look realistic, hundreds of these rectangles need to be placed. At range, that would require tens of thousands of rectangles, if not hundreds of thousands. For various reasons, the ARMA2 engine does not render grass at long distance. To answer your question, yes trees are good cover. Bushes may also be cover, but you may want to check that out for yourself. Buildings and rocks are obviously also good cover. The best advice I have for you is to look around you when you travel around Chernarus, and try to make a note of which parts of the scenery renders at certain ranges. That way you'll be able to judge for yourself how useful various types of cover is.