Cap'n (DayZ)

shit my pants and run

I don't think the grammar nazi understands the logic behind goo0gle. You see, goo0gle is actually the super secret heir to the russian Tsar, kept hidden after the revolution and Stalin's purge. Jesus, understanding his potential, sent multiple aliens to recover the young child, and keep him cryogenically frozen for one hundred years. After his awakening, Jesus bestowed the gift of telekinesis and the mastery of road flares. He was one of only three, one of which was dead and the other...well you know who ;). Anyways, goo0gle summoned Flash Gordon and Applejack to assist him in defeating the remnants of communism in Russia, the Communist Party of the Russian federation. After killing a bunch of commies with roadflares, Vladimir Putin got PO'ed and decided to use his magical flying tiger to kill Applejack and mortally wound Flash. After fighting for hours with road flares, goo0gle eventually prevails and beats Putin to death with George Bush's left thigh. After the subsequent revolution and a continuation of the Russian Monarchy, goo0gle decides to move to Slovenia because they have the best internet in the fucking world. However, he comes down with a minor case of brain cancer and survives after many treatments of radiation, however his brain is left damaged. That explains his..."artistic style". Anyways, he now lives in Texas on a cattle ranch with his newly wed wife, Chris Tucker. He now spends his time playing DayZ, at his medic base in Tulga, helping innocent survivors and ridding the wrold of those evil black bandits. And that my children, is the story of goo0gle.

So, wait...Matt has been a Hamster/Toaster hybrid Englishman this WHOLE time? I knew something was hiding under that childish guise.

Link to the thread were this was posted?

It's set in South Zagoria, a smaller North Western province of Chernarus. Chernogorsk is not the capital of Chernarus. Novigrad is. But you don't know that because most of you have never play the ArmA 2 campaign. And don't respect what ArmA 2 gave you. And Chernarus is set in Czech Republic, home of Bohemia Interactive. Cheap beer and cheap women!

Well, good to hear. Anyways, fuck those reddit whores! Stop taking our precious Rocket! We love him even more than you do, and he deserves better. Come back, come back to the people who love you. We need your insight, your wisdom, your nonsensical jibber jabber, and your woefully poor sense of humor. Please Rocket, do it for us. Your real fans! Why do you reply to them, and not US? Huh? They never gave you the love like we did!

I like you.

*sigh* I can't understand why people expect the standalone to be released tomorrow. "Oh, its been too long.", or "Oh, its going to suck.". They've been developing it for a year. A YEAR. It takes two years to develop the average COD game, and only because the developers switch releases every other year. And they re-use and re-use assets, engines, and many other things. Guess what? It takes TIME to iron out these bugs, and other petty things we like to complain about. And because its coming out as an ALPHA, they'll only be working on the GAME BREAKING bugs. So it'll still be buggy. Big fucking deal. Its an alpha. It's purpose is to get FEEDBACK, so they can IMPROVE the game. If it came out the time you whiny impatient bitches wanted it, IT WOULD BE A COPY AND PASTE OF THE MOD. But you know what? Don't complain about both in the same sentence. It'll take TIME to make the standalone playable, and be considered an "improvement" over the mod. So you shouldn't be complaining that it hasn't been released yet, or that people will "lose interest". We should all be thankful that they are taking their sweet time into making this the kickass game it DESERVES to be. So shut your hole, and you shut your hole, and don't think I forgot you so shut your hole too. Lets all move on to a subject that hasn't been debated the hell over multiple times and talk about something more positive. LIKE LEMON SQUARES.

I thought turbo was Q...WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

RPK, Makarov SD, normal M9. I can't find any of those for some odd reason.

Not ONCE have I ever found a tent with decent loot in it. I've found them everywhere, near NWAF, Krastonov, Elektro, and the entire Western strip going from Balota to Skalka. Also, I have an OCD problem. Unless its ammo or anti's, I can't have more than one of anything. Food, water, trash and road flares. If there be more than one, it bothers me a lot. So I eat the second and find a different item.

Man, why be such a downer. Why ruin someones day or potentially yours, when you can come to Utes and hang with us. We'll eat lemon squares and sip iced tea, and watch the sunset while the brigands on the mainland club each other to death over a can of beans.

AKM AKS AKS-74 Kobra RPK AK-74 AKS-74U I don't know why but I almost always end up finding a AK-74 in the Elektro firestation. Its been a while since I've seen an AKM, and I want a fucking AKM!

Well, I thought about making a living room visitor PC so my friends from the...ugh...console crew can play with me. Its a pretty simple $500 dollar rig I created just messin' around on Newegg. What kind of FPS am I expecting on what settings?(40 FPS is fine, 30 FPS minimum. I don't need 60.) Here are the specs; Mini ITX case - $45 MSI FM2 A75 Mini ITX board - $85 AMD A10 6700 w/ Radeon HD 8670D(between 6670 and 7750) - $150 Radeon HD 7750 Crossfired with 8670D(some videos on youtube of people playing BF3, FC3, and Bioshock Inf on Ultra settings with 50-60 fps) - $90 300 Watt SFX power supply for mini itx case - $20 320GB Seagate OEM Hard drive - $30 4gb DDR3 2133mhz RAM(best for the IGPU on the A10)- $45 What kind of FPS on what settings can I expect?

Well, I don't plan. I run up North, usually following through from Dolina, to Polana, to Gorka, to Devils Castle, then head East to NEAF and eventually Berezino. I don't run into many people, but when I do, they're almost ALWAYS heavily armed. You don't find too many Winnie Kiddies on the North Eastern grid, as they're all stuck down South with their heads up their arse. No, I'm facing clan members, lone wolves(my own kind), skilled bandits and the occasional medic. However, I usually end up living two days a week via this route, and usually have some half decent gear.

I'll start off with giving the back story. I play on a nice server. Vanilla, none of that 24/7 or 1000 car bull. No, just plain DayZ. Well two days ago I was being chased by zombies after firing off an Enfield in Mogilevka(I freak when I see the viral zeds), and I dumped them off inside a red brick house. After walking up a hill I see a castle. I walk in, get agro, and run to the big tower. Right there, is a bandit killing a zombie. BAM, he's out. I execute him but notice that he has a friend on the stairs. I turn to him, BAM, he's knocked out, execute. I get their awesome gear, biggest backpack, M14 AIM, and lots and lots of anti's. I log out ti get lunch, and log back in. I step out, BAM. Another guy headshots me and I'm dead. This guy, Spectre, starts ranting over sidechat calling me a combat logger and a wimp. Well, his two buddies join in, and like the pied piper more people join in on the hate train. Soon enough half the server tells me to shut up(mostly spectre) every time I type or reply over sidechat. This isn't speaking, just normal typing. Me and him argue and argue, and I try my best to remain calm. He is still on some kind of retarded witch hunt of us "combat loggers"(he's accused another guy, a guy I respect). He's no troll, I can tell he believes it, and there's no dealing with him. He gets on voip over sidechat if I'm online and annoys me. Should I leave the server or stay? What should I do?

KK, Dagwood, I remember you by the way :)

I muted him and his other little lemming, and I'm going to start hunting him. I'd like to shoot him with the Enfield and read him a poem while he is unconscious, then execute him. I'm all for theatrics >:)

I've never seen an admin on

Eh, I'll give you a suggestion. You need an insane black guy who throws road flares at people under the name of "Cap'n". I heard he's a real badass.

From what I understand, infected avoid attacking each other based off of visual and sensual stimuli. They know the difference between a live animal and an infected one, and usually avoid attacking the latter. Why? Because these zombies are not undead, its not very easy to explain. The "DayZ virus" is blood based and thus explains why we're immune(the virus can only reproduce off of certain blood cells- also explains why we all have the same blood type :)). Maybe they can tell through smell if an animal has infected blood or not; or maybe they have a hive/group mentality, and a complex social hierarchy.

G17, hands down. never have I had better luck with a handgun. At close range, those sights do wonders. Mid range...meh.

Me and God are going to take a long swim to Utes, and relax for a while sipping iced tea and eating lemon squares while we watch the chaos unfold.

Hey, I'm downloading PMC and BAF right now off of Steam. Could someone show some decent screenshots to compare the two? Also, since I'm an ArmA player is the content contained worth the purchase?

You should at least TRY ArmA 2 campaign, I found it kind of fun(its very task based, an open world shooter with RPG elements).