Cap'n (DayZ)

What fuck banned the real goo0gle?

goo0gle must be cast as the Russian

Don't mind the suspicious looking satchel charges cleverly laid out around Tulga, I'm just leaving my little "satchels" of "joy" >:)

Well, a few days ago I was running through the woods south of Stary when I come out to the edge of the forest. In free look, I spot a player with a bandit skin. I decide not to take any chances, and open fire on the unsuspecting motherfucker. I miss the first time, and I hit him the second and he's bleeding like a yard sprinkler. He dives behind a bush, and there is a lull in the action. I flank him, ducking between tree to Q-E and take a look. I can't find him. I come up to the bush he dove behind, and he isn't there. Rage fills my heart, as I've had my very first dealing with a combat logger. After a short rage over side chat, and someone gleefully offering me a drink, someone points out that they've added a combat timer to prevent thus combat logging. Odd thing is, I hit him, so shouldn't it have been activated? It didn't take me but ten to fifteen seconds to move to higher ground and have visibility of where he took cover, and the timer is set, to what, 30 seconds? Has this happened to you guys before?

I had an m4, but I don't know the time.

One please. I don't want to hold up people with hatchets only to get gunned down because they can insta switch to their cleverly hidden assault rifle

I'm sorry, that was a dick move and you deserve to be pissed.

Someone escaped from the rape dungeon

Well, I'm certainly not the most famous forum member around, but I've noticed something odd lately. Nearly every server I go to, two or three people will ask me if I'm the actual Cap'n from the forums. Now, I have a massive ego and it gets to me when stuff like this happens(which is why I want my Cap'ns Crunchy Nuts to become an item in-game). However, I don't contribute as much as some people and give as much of my time to make this a better game. That makes me wonder, what has caused these people to point me out, when I could be just anyone else? I've only been on this forum since November/December, so I haven't been around as long as some people on this forum. And I think there are others that deserve a little more credit than me. I think its just because I act like a flamboyant idiot, used Terry Crews as my avatar(and thus, everyone believes I'm black :P), and every now then ask serious questions and make serious suggestions. But I feel like my silliness has overshadowed my ideas and my interest in improving the game. For example, me and Levisky were having a nice conversation over side chat, and we would be interrupted by one of two things; Hey, *insert name* here, I know you from the forums! Or; GET THE FUCK OFF SIDECHAT. And I think that kind of thing got to me, like I suddenly thought I had become an icon among all and I should wear it out everywhere I went. But, alas, it is simply my ego. The people who point me out are usually newer-ish members or active members, and only a fraction of people who play DayZ are actually forum members. So, I feel like I don't deserve this recognition as much as some others do. There are people with really good ideas, that could really improve the game. And they deserve some recognition, but they usually don't. So who gets pointed out? Me, a idiot who can't run his mouth and gets the support of some noobs. So, I think forum "fame" is a bad thing. For me, at least. So, who do you think deserves some more recognition among people?

I don't know if I should've switched to Flash over Terry...everyone on my server is complaining because of it.

Then why do people know me by name?

Well, I think people know me for my flair, flamboyant personality, and being the master of the Road Flare. Oh, and terry crews :)

I took a break to go on vacation, I'll be on today.

I check Steam every other hour now...you can never be sure :|

I remember a while ago that some community based food items(moderators, famous memebers, etc.) were released in a patch. I was pretty stoked when I found a pack of Orlok fruits, and I made a pact to never eat them as long as I live as a tribute to the great and mighty Orlok(he loves nomming my threads, probably because they die so fast). Anyways, the next day all the special food items are gone. Were they removed? Why were they removed? Who is behind this heresy? Why is there no Cap'ns Crunchy Nut's breakfast cereal? Why?

Sad, I would've enjoyed Derpies canned delights. My Orlok fruits sadly were absent from my inventory the next day. I debated eating them.

Still...I want my Crunchy Nuts. And some Meat Pies. And some Applejaxc Breakfast cereal. But anyways, lets keep it hush hush so the reddit whores don't speak out.

Thats fucking genius.You deserve some credit.

That shit is INSANE...enough for Comic Sans!

Because it's classy as fuck. And you all love me. Don't you? Everyone loves me. Everyone.

Still, I want some Cap'ns Crunchy Nuts. Don't you? You want my Crunchy Nuts. Everyone wants my Crunchy nuts.

Bandit, hero, survivor, big difference. In the end, every time I see one I shit my pants and run for the hills.

I have three Mountain Dews on me at the moment. Is that bad?

Just join a near death server with aformentioned maps before it gets taken down.

Wow, what assholes. Immersion breaking? Oh, I foregot that there are only three brands of food that exist. Canned Beans, Canned Sardines, and Canned Pasta. With the notable exception of that bacon I just lifted off a wild boar. Oh, and death to those reddit whores. And where are my Cap'ns Crunchy Nuts?