The best way for me to avoid this annoying situation (using DayZ Commander) is to simply be ready to Alt+Tab while you're loading. If/When you see "You Have Died" screen, immediately Alt+Tab to the DayZ Commander screen and press the red "Close Game" button as quickly as you can. Reload and try again. 100 percent of the time over the past few months, I log back in with all my stuff in the place I'm supposed to be. Not ideal, but it works. Good luck.