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I am in very much the same boat as OP, I bought this game only for the idea of playing coop with friends and family. So far we have never been able to find each other. It's a shame when a handful of ultra hardcore fans that want so much realism that it is totally unrealistic and hurts the potential of the game. At the very least we need a group mechanic that allows you to form groups in the lobby and then spawn together.
I just bought Arma II CO today wanting to play this mod really badly but I am really worried now that this might make it impossible for me to enjoy. Imo a game should never totally mimic real life as it has to remember that its a game. Day/Night cycle is one of those mechanics that should reflex that, a day of playing a game is about 3 hours so in those 3 hours the game should progress and in game day, that seems totally reasonable and logical to me anyway. That my character lives in a world that is dark 100% of the time is hardly logical or realistic imo and that is a HUGE immersion breaker for me.