mooky32

This is a worthy effort. The level of skills that are stated here bring you straight into the ranks of the Elektro Enlightened brother A good narrative, a display of solid weapons mastery and a sense of modesty that is the trademark of Itchy and I. You are so good in fact that I think you would potentially get a draw in 1 match in 50 against either Itchy or I. The remaining 49 would result in your swift death generally from a range of 500m + You are welcome on the "the hill" friend, come visit soon.

Yeah that has proved to be the case as you can see by general lack of interest in the thread. What's your point caller, like seeing your name up on the big stage? If you don't have anything nice or fawning to say about me or Itchy go and take your bitterness elsewhere. Err but still go in peace...

Dear friend, please stop your feeble trolling attempts. You are dealing with two minds so far in advance of yours that the English language has not yet devised words with enough meaning to properly describe it. Your language and lack of vocabulary places you as either a pre-teen or potentially an adult who is just a thick bastard. I mean "Skinup69" ffs dude, that tells you all we need to know about your lifestyle and place in the world, i.e. directly below our boots. If you want to get involved in some slanging match please keep at it. It's entertainment for the readers and will simply result in you being truly buried by erudite abuse. I imagine your replies will get friendlier as the night goes on as your weed heed kicks into effect. Probably by the end of it you will be swearing allegiance to the enlightened before declaring us as "brothers from another mother" Go in peace.

And in other news.....

Hi Brother, we all have our crosses to bear, yours is hailing from Sheffield. Please re-read the story and keep things focused on my actions. Try google for reach around , then try lemon party and tell me how you get on. Go in peace

Christ and I thought my story was good.....

How quality of response can be maintained for such a long period is mind blowing. I will continue to respond to the followers as long as there is interest. We will eventually post up our next adventure which could well be even more epic than the one described though it will truly have to be something else to come close. Yours humbly , Mooky.

Thank you for kind words brother/sister? Your offer of a banging will be considered in the event of a divorce from my devoted wife. This is unlikely due to the fact she once described me as "The very imagining of perfection poured into the sculpted body of Adonis" The offer is appreciated however, welcome to the ranks of the Enlightened. Large heads are normally associated with boasting and immodesty. All I state is pure facts but in the form of a brilliantly packaged narrative. Go in peace my child.

Dear friend that little display confirmed two things. One, you are probably not old enough to have hair that you can sit on and two you have the story telling capabilities of Stephen Hawking's voice box whilst being operated by a chimp. The real story here is you want a little bit of associated fame by try to trolling your heroes. You hate the way your head is telling you to troll but your heart is telling you to love. It's causing you to get your knickers in a knot and ripping you apart emotionally to the point you have tried to drown your sorrows with Irn Bru and shots of milk. Now go and roll yourself a nice 3 skinner, get into the stone zone and then run down to the garage for a 6 pack of snickers when you get munched out. Leave the real exploits to the pros (and our favoured followers). Go in peace.

I sympathise dude. You get people who just can't face the reality of their own place in the Dayz pecking order. About a week back I was on the fire station roof on Elektro ammo hunting. I spotted a group of 3 about 300m away to the North west edging out of the forest. I got Itchy on the comms and we called code "Mirror" This is basically what we call a synchro snipe. He attained target - about 350m for him from near church street and we counted down from 5. Moving targets x 2 down instantly , dropped like a bad habit and with maximum prejudice. The last target instantly goes into Benny Hill mode and tries to duck and weave to cover. Another synchro and he is kissing the green green grass of home, downed by 2 shots so well grouped the entry wounds resemble a single shot. Up we go to grab the gear and in doing so we get accused of using aim bots! errr no son you have just been schooled by the single 2 best Dayz players in existence. He seemed to pick up the gravitas in my voice and accept that truth, but I tell you I do sympathise with your story. Some people get weak in the presence of beauty and accept the fate, others struggle and it's up dignified.

Child. child, child. Please calm yourself and practice some deep breathing exercises. Its like you are viewing the Sistine chapel for the first time. The sheer perfection of the event that has been described has left you in a rapture where you are sort of going through a stage of denial. Because Itchy is the kind of sniper you couldn't hope to emulate, you are angry with your own failings and through transference you bring that anger to this post. You think he didn't make that shot? PLEASE, I haven't laughed so much since my grandma caught her tit in the mangle. Wisdom received you may now go in peace.

Friend, please do not let skill envy cloud our relationship. You can repent at anytime and join the ranks of the Enlightened. Peace be with you.

Kind friend , please read the thread. I explained my reasons. Itchy and I are protectors of Elektro. Anyone caught inside the city are terminated with maximum prejudice. I am not a vengeful person and I will strike down the first person that says I am, but borders must be respected. Our followers are actually allowed in Elektro, that's a membership benefit that the enlightened enjoy,

Thanks brother , welcome to the Enlightened. Yes the left handed pizza shot would be outwith the bounds of the best players on their good hand. However Itchy is a marksman to the degree the word "marksman" has a picture of him below it when you look it up in a dictionary.

Bet you are a laugh at parties. Go in peace my son (from the thread).

This might be possible. Itchy is a world class illustrator and has been approached by both Marvel and DC comics on several occasions. I once myself drew a painting in my art class at school that was actually taken by my art teacher and auctioned in order to raise funds. I don't know how much it raised but the next year we had a new science wing that was better equipped than most research labs.

Well said friend. The serious message is the education I giving out through sharing an event that was so epic in nature that the moon landings look like a walk in the park by comparison. For those that like a bit of humour that's ok too. As long as the centre of attention is mainly me and Itchy then that's ok. I don't want it going off topic too much with people talking about themselves and stuff. Alas I fear a book deal is not our style. The fact is we don't like to boast too much etc, and that would be really like blowing our own trumpets.

May the spirit of our staggering skills inspire and bless you brother. Welcome to the Elektro Enlightened. You may have a seat near me , but not that close that you would get in the way if I was being photographed for one of my publicity events. Go in peace.

I am amazing at being a hipster.

The skill in my description of events captures an intensity and raw emotion that no mere video could hope to emulate.

As your name suggest brother, you may have been potentially high at the time of these imagined events. Leave the real stuff to the experts and keep taking a hit of the real shit. Go in peace.

I appreciate you kind words friend. We like to give personal responses when possible because we care about our followers and they take the time to post to our thread, the least they deserve back is some communication from their idols. I am also an expert in writing replies to fans, they hang on my every word so I do like to keep them to a certain literary standard which would be the envy of top newspaper journalists or script writers. Your ability to discern the value of this thread means you are what we call part of our "Elektro Enlightened". These are the kind of players who have realised that even if they were sponsored to play Dayz for 16 hours a day with no other responsibilities, they would not be able to touch our level of divine skill with a 10 foot pole. Instead they decide to be educated , grow and you know what? Even laugh. Yes at the joy of being part of a movement that guarantees them a small amount of fame by association. Don't get me wrong such fans will only be background noise as our fame casts a larger shadow than Godzillas big brother BUT they will be loved by us and allowed to act as an extended bodyguard (even though we would never need bodyguards). So welcome to the Elektro Enlightened you are official member number 1 and application is open. Go in peace brother.

My pirate name is "Long Schlong Silver" , is this enough proof now that I bring the ownage? Go in peace child.

I would hunt them down like vermin ,they would bend their will to my prowess and be exposed for what they are. There would be zero quarter shown and maximum destruction dispatched.

I would write you a love note which would melt you very heart and cause you to be basically transformed into my love zombie.