mooky32

Christ, and I thought I was a wanker!

I have a post about this subject :-)

More finger puppets next time!

So me Itchy and Norther Irish guy are sitting in the pub in Elektro, stair cover , double window formation amidst the now normal Mexican stand-off scenario that is the RULE in town nowadays. You know the scene, any player moving a ball hair out of cover automatically is subject to a tirade of fire that makes the omaha scene in saving private ryan look like a stroll in the park. We are sitting tight being utter wankers, shooting anything that moves, armed or not, no zombies mind - that would be an utter waste of ammo. Couple of weapons hide around the Elektro area in case of being caught out, the usual precautions. Half hour in and we have eliminated a rival gang in the tech and one guy who strangely stood on top of the police station and put his hands up. So NI guy gets called away from the keyboard and Itchy needs a piss, I am left on cover duty. No movement for a good 10 mins, so I am fairly relaxed. Then it starts, sack itch generated by the seam of my boxers chaffing. Subtle at first but persistent. Stay focused Mooky they will be back soon, keep it together. Quickly escalates to "moist" itch level, some potential nut sweat adding to discomfort. The urge is overwhelming, I am sweating more than a Japanese prisoner of war and it's not helping. I have to act... Being right handed I release the mouse and delve into the depths of my jeans for some sweet release (and a scratch) As soon as I am giving some slack to my sack, 2 dudes appear at the stairs and proceed to spray and pray our team of legends. I retrieve my hand at speed (risking a dislocated nut) and reach for the mouse. Too late, Mooky boy et al are filled with more lead than a 2 year old chewing a games workshop miniature. Goodnight sweet princes! So the practical lesson, a pre-emptive nut and optionally ass scratch should be considered prior to high risk scenarios. The irony that this did not happen to Itchy is not lost on me.......

Some truth mate , but if I was playing naked as usual it would have significantly aided sack scratchage!

lol well put sir! The ecstasy of sack itch relied almost transcended human vocabulary!

Thanks bro appreciate it from a vet, still making a nuisance of myself!

Individual responses because multi quote has gone ape on my ipad. Yup NI guy has become a total asset to our team. He is a wee brother to itchy and I , but you know what? He totally earned his place by being a top bloke and a bloody decent shot. He is a total heartless wanker like us and still has a sense of humour AND puts up with me saying "bout ye?" all the time!

Strangely aroused?

A fine review Irish, it's uncommon to meet a fellow purveyor of first rate prose. You have effectively nailed the character progression arc I am peddling, combined with the nod to realism in keeping content relevant. I think what shows most growth however is the self admission that we have shed the shackles of "self-justification" and come to terms with the fact we are out and out wankers.

Yeah sure we might think nothing of declaring a house in Elektro our home and serving tea and biscuits whilst the world around us goes to shit but it's not weird - it's civilised...

Ok the boring police will want another "story" - read entertainment banished from the forum but this need some press. Itchy has gone totally AWOL to the point I can't control him. He has taken up a position in Elektro inner-city and had declared it the property of the Russian military. No Ukranians are allowed within city limits. This apparently includes new spawns, ME, people with 2 legs, griefers, snipers, counter-snipers, people who say "hello" and players whose name includes alpha-numeric or special characters. Naturally this is a fairly narrow band of players but it has proved problematic. He has declared a new state of Crimea and has decided to enforce that through dubious amounts of lead. He has stockpiled ammo and is playing the Russian national anthem at intervals through direct chat. I am out for tonight but through a combination of vodka and amphetamines he is still there and intends to see it out. He only respond to President Putin and will not stop till an independent state is declared. This could be a long night, I pray some fellow players might aid me in talking him down tomorrow. All advice appreciated.

Northern Irish guy entered the party tonight and has become our third core group member. He tasted the insanity that is Elektro protection duty. On the street behind church street on Elektro he participated in what can be only described as a fucking bloodbath. He played door guard and kept us well informed of events. His life was taken not in vain for he provide forewarning of a decent sized assault of a 4 player group which Itchy and I cleaned up without mercy. 12 players in all went down in the attempt to dislodge Itchy and I from the stronghold before we were eventually killed by some door glitching twat with a mosin. He also spotted and killed a sniper on the tech roof which proved to be critical. His efforts demanded that his application to the elite was accepted. The enlightened grow.............

The man speaks truth Itchy, lets end this in a friendly manner!

Hi All, This is brutal, please assist in any way shape or form you can. I simply cannot take another sleepless night. My life is being impacted by this and its causing me real life stress. Ok so Itchy was at the doctor's getting a scrotal rash looked at, so I am in Elektro solo. Did a quick scout of the tech building and spotted a cheeky little SKS and some ammo on the top floor. So I am kneeling down and sort my inventory out, I literally just got finished and this little chap appeared suddenly in the door way and said "Hi, friendly Buddy!" over direct voice. I got a major fright and just about passed a malteser! Panic reaction and my finger hits the left mouse button. Half a clip of SKS into his upper body and the poor new spawn was on his back pissing blood garden sprinkler style over the general area. "NNNNNNnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" I shouted in voice comms. "Sorry mate, for the love of God, sorry. It was a mistake, I just got a fright and mis-clicked" I stayed with his body, hoping the player would return, so at least I could give him all of my clothes, pack, ammo, guns and most of all a huge apology. He didn't appear, :-( Community, was this acceptable behaviour? What will be the consequences for me as a person? What would you have done in the same circumstance? I took a digital life, I really feel like my morale compass is all over the place. I just don't understand where my head is at right now. Any advice is sincerely appreciated, thanks folks... Mooky.

I remember unloading on you buddy, it was a strong emotional moment. Your face was unrecognisable, then I shot you.

Guys I despise trolling and if you check my content you will see it is something I fight against with a passion. Some people just call troll these days so as to protect themselves from looking silly. I would and never will do this to my fellow Dayz community members.

Its basically a group of our followers. Its got quite extensive. You don't need to pay to enter the group, all we ask is that the person is willing to take a bullet for us! Its a small price to pay for being touched by glory (not in an inappropriate manner I hasten to add).

Hey mate, its your Craigavon buddy! I froze and crashed. I logged onto the same server afterwards and try to find you! Yes and you know who fucking shot you, none other than BLOODY ITCHY! I hope you heard me saying don't do it. He just appeared to our right and blasted you. At this point he went rogue and seriously declared a free state of Crimea in Elektro. Dude you were good people and I had hoped we could party up. After feeding you powdered milk and having some general laughs we were set to rock. Serious apologies for the headshot but it was my trigger happy buddy. Northern Irish guy you can join the enlightened any time, 2 Scottish team mates are here for you bro , once Itchy is talked down....

double , please delete nice admin!

i7 3770K @ 4.50Ghz, 660GTX SLI Frame Rate Reported: "Oh my god it's full of stars"

Had to post this one in case the victims were about. Well got over my guilt from yesterday and had a great Dayz moment just now. Scouting for some 7.62 I was literally about to log out when I thought I would try the out of town fire station in Elektro. 5 people on the server including me. Walks in via the back door, which was closed and inside we have a little party consisting of 4 players in a group. Weapons shouldered, fully kitted with combo of M4s and Mosins. My hand slipped again and I took out the 2 nearest before blowing my 10 rounds. Stepped outside to reload and was not chased. Reloaded, stepped inside and killed one more with them firing wildly. Then ran round and opened one of the double red door to be presented by a dude covering the back door , totally oblivious. Down he went and its GG. How the hell a group that well tooled could be so slack, totally escapes me. Initial surprise sure, but 2 then still blow it with 2 to 1 advantage. Lesson for big groups, stay frosty even on low pop servers, there is always some nutter about with an itchy trigger finger. And no I didn't try the "friendly" route, they were tooled to the max and I wanted their shit. Also hid all bodies and announced I was doing so over voice comms. People will keep coming to my town, sheesh....

Sure dude, sounds fun, any time you like any place you like. I love fun challenges. Let's man up. I am keeping it real like Ian Beal.

A true story that will be of interest to the top 000000.1% of Dayz players. Basically the elite, read on friends. Was hanging around Elektro with Itchy on "the hill". I decided to go and do some shopping in town whilst Itchy kept overwatch on our town. I was really low on supplies, a mere single shot left in my mosin and 4 shots in my pistol. Thought I would scout out a couple of 20 packs of 7.62 and then get back to dominating our town and basically keeping it under the rule of an iron first. Then I saw them, a group of 5 fairly well kitted survivors armed with a combination of mosins and pistols. They were hanging about the supermarket , 3 checked inside and 2 others covered the outside. I was across the street second floor, taking this all in and calculating the odds. "Need any help?" asked Itchy over comms. "Nah I got this" I replied and shouldered my Mosin. First shot was an absolute classic even by my standards. Two of the band were kneeling inside the supermarket gearing up and I scoped the first in line and fired. Headshot - natch - but I can confirm single bullet double player kill is possible - 2 DOWN with a single shot. The place erupted, the one chap left in the supermarket sprinting out firing wildly, the 2 muppets on cover duty also shooting at ghosts! I slipped out of the rear entrance of my building and kept low, using my comprehensive expert knowledge of every inch of Elektro to loop around the remaining 3 invaders of my city. I edged by the church and approached the supermarket via a side street. One of the invaders sprinted through the alley, as suprised to see me as I him. My razor reactions kicked in and I slotted him via a clean single pistol shot to the head. Busted , I thought , the last 2 idiots will be on me shortly. 3 pistol shots left and hell to pay. Sod it! I ran straight out on the main road, death or glory! Time for a shock, they had moved towards the tech building and another 2 of their buddies had joined the hunting party as they attempted to flush me out. I hit voice comms (please post a response if you were part of this shoot-out as you will recognise what I said!): "Hey nut sacks, I am offering a 2 for 1 on headshots" I opened up as they spun in my direction. I executed 3 headshots with the precision of an SAS trained hand gun expert who had been using a time machine to hone his skills over a millenia. The 4th guy ducked in cover by the tech building and shouted back "Jesus H Christ, you are the living enbodiment of John Rambo" Even I had a chuckle at that and had to agree. Bingo ammo though and it wasnt looking good even for a player of my ability. Back to the hill I thought, maybe Itchy can spare me a fee rounds to finish up this tea party. I break for cover and hit the hill - shit on a stick - the survivor is behind me and he is steadying up for some pistol punishment on the sprinting deity. A single shot rings out, I prepared for blackness..... it never comes. Behind me I see my pursuer dead, courtesy of a precise head shot. "Sorry I was eating and had to take that shot with my left hand" comes the welcome voice of Itchy. Couldn't believe it, he had exectuted an 800m shot left handed whilst eating a chicken tikka Pizza. I thanked him and told him of my adventures. He was mildy impressed with the double kill but not overly excited. This level of play has come to be the standard for the Elektro masters.