I was going to post my id and stuff, then I noticed Altheone's post. Seeing as I had tried out every single thing I could think of, and was desperate to start playing DayZ again as quickly as possible, I gave it a go. DayZ Commander says it's official (connected to the hive), and when I joined, the setup screen went away in a matter of seconds, and I had spawned! =D IT REALLY WORKS!!! FIND THE SERVER CALLED 'DE 287' AND JUST JOIN IT. IT FIXED IT FOR ME!!! =D