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How do you deal with breakups?

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Hey guys! been a while since ive posted on forums!

 

But i need some serious advice!

 

my girlfriend or should i say ex of almost a year and a half broke up with me the other day, and i'm asking what's the best way of dealing with it? ive been feeling pretty dark since it happened, ive gone and seen a doctor about it. and i need some advice on how i should move on or feel as confident again!

 

Thank you guys.

 

So how do you deal with breakups?  <_<

 

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If you're having a hard time,i'd advise you not to hang around with Jack and Johnny.

 

Drinking and sulking would be the worst thing to do in your situation.

 

If there's no way getting back together,my best advice would be to.....just accept your fate... and get over it.

 

It's not the end of the world and i'm sure there are plenty of women out there.

 

Look at the bright side dude,you are single now!

 

Maybe you and that girl weren't meant to be,but now you can meet new people.

 

Her loss dude,not yours!

 

Get out of the house and go have fun,that's an order! :D

Edited by Damnyourdeadman

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I wouldn't know how to deal.. I have been with the same woman for 13 years.

 

I can only assume that you must "move on", your only young (Yes, I checked your profile like a stalker) so get yourself out and enjoy your life for a while, there's no need to get so emotionally attached to girls at your age.. and whilst this is not seemingly good advice because of how you may feel.. it's what I would do if I could be young again.

 

Don't dwell on it, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

 

 

EDIT - corrected a mistake, it appears you are a boy :lol:

Edited by NuckFuts

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Hey guys! been a while since ive posted on forums!

 

But i need some serious advice!

 

my girlfriend or should i say ex of almost a year and a half broke up with me the other day, and i'm asking what's the best way of dealing with it? ive been feeling pretty dark since it happened, ive gone and seen a doctor about it. and i need some advice on how i should move on or feel as confident again!

 

Thank you guys.

 

So how do you deal with breakups?  <_<

 

Hey,

 

I'm not sure the DayZ community is the best place for relationship advice but oh well! You're 17, so I'm guessing she was your first serious girlfriend? We've all been there, and you've now joined a very large community (99% of us) of men that have had their heart broken by a girl. And if you're a gamer, this is likely to happen more than once!

 

First off, you need to remember a few things, you might like to think you're a grownup, but you're still a teenager, and your hormones are a little out of whack right now. Everything seems so much worse than it really is, and that's the chemistry in your body, you can't do anything about that. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, quite the contrary its very normal. You don't need to see a doctor, and you don't need any pills to make yourself feel any better.

 

Breakups however hurt at any age, I'm almost 31 and broke up with my girlfriend of four years last year. This was someone I'd lived with for years, worked with, been backpacking around the world with, almost had a child with, and completely based my life around. It's hard to know how to feel, and you go from angry at them to self loathing. It's so easy to want to contact them, to either plead for them to come back or take a dig at them, but honesty don't do it.

 

Good relationships don't generally end, so have a think about it, and when you think over the last year and a half I'm sure you'll realise that things were not perfect, and most likely she was not the right person for you.

 

My best advice is to not contact your ex at all, in any way whatsoever. Don't block them or anything dramatic, just stop talking to them, and stop looking at their social media pages. There are a few reasons why you need to stop talking to them completely, first off, it really hurts your self esteem and makes you feel a lot worse when you get no reply or not the reply you wanted. Second, you can come across as needy or troubled, and in the girls mind, this will justify her reasoning for breaking up in the first place. And finally, if you keep contacting her, she will never get the chance to actually miss you.

 

My second bit of advice is to do more exercise! I'm not sure what kind of shape you're in, but exercise releases endorphines into the brain that will make you feel better. Stick some upbeat tunes onto an mp3 player and go for a run. It doesn't matter if you can only run for 30 seconds and then walk, it's that initial burn that makes the difference. Believe me, when you're jogging or running you won't give a shit about anything else. Next up, eat well.. Fuel your body with healthy foods. Throw the fizzy sugary drinks away and drink more water and green tea. Eat lean meat and top up on the salad without sugar laced dressings. Sugar is an addictive depressant, avoid it! How we feel is directly linked to what we eat and how much exercise we do. When you exercise regularly, and eat well, your self confidence will increase. You might think this is a trivial thing, or you can't be bothered, but doing something to better yourself will make you feel so much better.

 

Let us know how you get on.

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Everyone handles it differently

 

I, for example, listen to emine's relapse album. To many this could be quite cynical, but it allows me to vent by myself without acting irrationally.

 

 

The truth though matey is only time will improve the situation. Spend some time with your close friends and keep busy. Also use this as time to improve yourself. Time to get out running or in the gym and become the person you really want to be, leave the old you behind :)

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Hey,

 

I'm not sure the DayZ community is the best place for relationship advice but oh well! You're 17, so I'm guessing she was your first serious girlfriend? We've all been there, and you've now joined a very large community (99% of us) of men that have had their heart broken by a girl. And if you're a gamer, this is likely to happen more than once!

 

First off, you need to remember a few things, you might like to think you're a grownup, but you're still a teenager, and your hormones are a little out of whack right now. Everything seems so much worse than it really is, and that's the chemistry in your body, you can't do anything about that. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, quite the contrary its very normal. You don't need to see a doctor, and you don't need any pills to make yourself feel any better.

 

Breakups however hurt at any age, I'm almost 31 and broke up with my girlfriend of four years last year. This was someone I'd lived with for years, worked with, been backpacking around the world with, almost had a child with, and completely based my life around. It's hard to know how to feel, and you go from angry at them to self loathing. It's so easy to want to contact them, to either plead for them to come back or take a dig at them, but honesty don't do it.

 

Good relationships don't generally end, so have a think about it, and when you think over the last year and a half I'm sure you'll realise that things were not perfect, and most likely she was not the right person for you.

 

My best advice is to not contact your ex at all, in any way whatsoever. Don't block them or anything dramatic, just stop talking to them, and stop looking at their social media pages. There are a few reasons why you need to stop talking to them completely, first off, it really hurts your self esteem and makes you feel a lot worse when you get no reply or not the reply you wanted. Second, you can come across as needy or troubled, and in the girls mind, this will justify her reasoning for breaking up in the first place. And finally, if you keep contacting her, she will never get the chance to actually miss you.

 

My second bit of advice is to do more exercise! I'm not sure what kind of shape you're in, but exercise releases endorphines into the brain that will make you feel better. Stick some upbeat tunes onto an mp3 player and go for a run. It doesn't matter if you can only run for 30 seconds and then walk, it's that initial burn that makes the difference. Believe me, when you're jogging or running you won't give a shit about anything else. Next up, eat well.. Fuel your body with healthy foods. Throw the fizzy sugary drinks away and drink more water and green tea. Eat lean meat and top up on the salad without sugar laced dressings. Sugar is an addictive depressant, avoid it! How we feel is directly linked to what we eat and how much exercise we do. When you exercise regularly, and eat well, your self confidence will increase. You might think this is a trivial thing, or you can't be bothered, but doing something to better yourself will make you feel so much better.

 

Let us know how you get on.

Thank you, the night she did it, i went for a run and even though it was for 10 minutes, i felt a lot better, i haven't been really eating or drinking. but i'll make sure i will now no matter how i feel.

i plan on going for runs in the morning.

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Thank you, the night she did it, i went for a run and even though it was for 10 minutes, i felt a lot better, i haven't been really eating or drinking. but i'll make sure i will now no matter how i feel.

i plan on going for runs in the morning.

 

It's so important to eat well man. You're going to feel like crap sometimes, and that's fine, but limit it. Give yourself a strict limit of no more than 20 minutes per day of self pity, and the rest of the time keep active. Watch a few funny breakup movies, like forgetting sarah marshall or 500 days of summer. You'll get some perspective of things.

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It's so important to eat well man. You're going to feel like crap sometimes, and that's fine, but limit it. Give yourself a strict limit of no more than 20 minutes per day of self pity, and the rest of the time keep active. Watch a few funny breakup movies, like forgetting sarah marshall or 500 days of summer. You'll get some perspective of things.

but there is one thing i must ask, there is ice-cream in the freezer, good or bad idea to eat it.

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Thank you to everyone that has posted! it has made me laugh an yes to be honest cry, but i will take everyone's advice into consideration, i plan on changing my life around and forgetting about everything and maybe start a new hobby. and get fit and get out there and enjoy the world, as i am only 17. Thank you everyone!

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2L of cookies and cream.

 

EAT IT! But maybe not the whole tub! Most things are fine in moderation.

 

Do that morning run, and seriously, don't contact the girl at all! I can almost guarantee if you avoid contact and keep yourself busy you'll get a "How are you?" text from her in a week and by then you probably won't even bother to reply because you won't give a crap. A lot of young women love the drama, they feed off it. Even if she did the whole "we can still be friends, I really care about you, but this isn't working" speech, she still subconsciously wants you to be miserable, because it feeds her ego. She can't help it, it's how they're wired. Don't try to understand women, you never will, and you'll rarely know what you did wrong. The best you can hope for is 51% cute, 49% crazy!

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EAT IT! But maybe not the whole tub! Most things are fine in moderation.

 

Do that morning run, and seriously, don't contact the girl at all! I can almost guarantee if you avoid contact and keep yourself busy you'll get a "How are you?" text from her in a week and by then you probably won't even bother to reply because you won't give a crap. A lot of young women love the drama, they feed off it. Even if she did the whole "we can still be friends, I really care about you, but this isn't working" speech, she still subconsciously wants you to be miserable, because it feeds her ego. She can't help it, it's how they're wired. Don't try to understand women, you never will, and you'll rarely know what you did wrong. The best you can hope for is 51% cute, 49% crazy!

thats the horrible thing, we've been talking a lot. (i know is very bad and i can't help it)  i just reach for my phone every 10 minutes. just hoping that she has sent a message saying she wants me back.

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thats the horrible thing, we've been talking a lot. (i know is very bad and i can't help it)  i just reach for my phone every 10 minutes. just hoping that she has sent a message saying she wants me back.

 

You honestly need to stop, but don't tell her you're stopping or make any drama around it, just stop sending her messages or replying to hers. Like I said earlier, give her a chance to miss you. Right now she's broken up with you, but still has you as a shoulder to cry on, and that's bullsh*t. You telling her how sad you are, or showing any emotion towards her will feed her ego, and justify the breakup in her mind. She has the best of both worlds right now, she knows she can get you back at any point, and get sympathy from you when she needs it, whilst being able to go out and be single. You won't have any self esteem until you take it back for yourself and cut her out. Let her chase you.

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You honestly need to stop, but don't tell her you're stopping or make any drama around it, just stop sending her messages or replying to hers. Like I said earlier, give her a chance to miss you. Right now she's broken up with you, but still has you as a shoulder to cry on, and that's bullsh*t. You telling her how sad you are, or showing any emotion towards her will feed her ego, and justify the breakup in her mind. She has the best of both worlds right now, she knows she can get you back at any point, and get sympathy from you when she needs it, whilst being able to go out and be single. You won't have any self esteem until you take it back for yourself and cut her out. Let her chase you.

That's the thing i want her back more than ever, and i'm scared if i stop talking to her she will move on and find some one else, the reason she broke up with because she wasn't happy, but she said she still loved me... so i'm not sure what i should do.

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Do that morning run, and seriously, don't contact the girl at all! I can almost guarantee if you avoid contact and keep yourself busy you'll get a "How are you?" text from her in a week and by then you probably won't even bother to reply because you won't give a crap. A lot of young women love the drama, they feed off it. Even if she did the whole "we can still be friends, I really care about you, but this isn't working" speech, she still subconsciously wants you to be miserable, because it feeds her ego. She can't help it, it's how they're wired. Don't try to understand women, you never will, and you'll rarely know what you did wrong. The best you can hope for is 51% cute, 49% crazy!

 

Where do I sign this?

 

Best advice I can give you is, delete all of you texts. I still haven't done that after my 'big' breakup and sometimes I will torture myself by going through them. Block her posts and updates on facebook. DO NOT EVER* contact her. If she contacts you, just play hard to get/indifferent. Either she will have to make some effort to get something out of you, or she will just give up which tells you she actually doesn't give a damn and she's just looking for more drama.

 

Another good thing to do is just keeping yourself busy. Go out there and meet people, hang out with buddies etc. You don't need to look for anyone new, just socialise, it will keep you too busy to think about the devil. Don't get too drunk while socialising though. That way lies madness.

 

*Flaming text would be cool here, but using Comic Sans is satanic.

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That's the thing i want her back more than ever, and i'm scared if i stop talking to her she will move on and find some one else, the reason she broke up with because she wasn't happy, but she said she still loved me... so i'm not sure what i should do.

 

Trust me, I've been there, tried that, it doesn't work. There is an old saying, and it's a wise one, "If you love someone, let them go, and if they don't come back, then it's meant to be." Give her some space, let her think about things without you. Let her wonder what you're up to, and miss hanging out with you. Constant communication with you means she never gets that, and maybe it's the lack of space that made her break up with you in the first place? Unless she has already met someone, she isn't going to find someone else in a week, so make the decision and cut her off for a week.  Honestly, speaking to her every 10 minutes will drive her further away.

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Trust me, I've been there, tried that, it doesn't work. There is an old saying, and it's a wise one, "If you love someone, let them go, and if they don't come back, then it's meant to be." Give her some space, let her think about things without you. Let her wonder what you're up to, and miss hanging out with you. Constant communication with you means she never gets that, and maybe it's the lack of space that made her break up with you in the first place? Unless she has already met someone, she isn't going to find someone else in a week, so make the decision and cut her off for a week.  Honestly, speaking to her every 10 minutes will drive her further away.

i wish you weren't so wise, i might try it..

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she isn't going to find someone else in a week

 

Don't put anything past a woman mate :D

 

tumblr_lz06vhI33T1qb4wgxo1_r1_500.gif

 

 

i might try it..

 
You absolutely must do it, not try it. That is one thing that McTabbish is 100000% right about. I did mention something similar in my post after all.
Edited by Accolyte

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You monster,what did you do to me?

 

The sound,the tune.....it's so catchy ....i....i....can't stop listening.

 

((Now i have to wait until i die from thirst and respawn))

Edited by Damnyourdeadman

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